I did end up having five glasses of wine which is more than I wanted to drink but here's how it happened. I sat in the garden until 5 when my husband came home. Not drinking. We went for a 30 minute walk with the dog. I came home, took a Nal because I thought I might decide to have a glass of wine. I made a nice dinner and we ate with no drinking. About 7, I really thought long and hard about whether or not I wanted to go get wine. That's a long time into the evening for me! I did go and buy some and I did drink but I went to bed feeling fully aware and I woke up early feeling pretty good. I know I can do it now. The drinking I did last night was more out of habit than compulsion and I was way more in control than in the past. I felt emotionally strong and in control. I know I can do it.

Good for you Othilia. Yes, for me also, a lot of it is mental. Nal on!! Newlife

I agree about a lot of this being mental now - yesterday I had had three drinks, poured a 4th and after a while, thought 'I do not really want that' - so poured pretty much most of it out ! It felt good to do that !! But as UKB says, we have to do our part - we cannot expect the Nal to do it all for us.

Hugs, Maggie x

ALMOST poured out my large glass of wine last night. didn't enjoy it, and woke up wondering why I bothered. you're right, the pill won't stop us on its own. headed to do three nights at an AL-free research station. should be interesting. I have my Nal (and a little vodka, which I don't normally drink as my sleepy time bail-out if I need it). when I signed up for it months ago, I was beside myself at the idea, but now it doesn't seem nearly so scary. I won't force the issue, but I want to be strong, and you people are inspiring me. thanks!

(oh, yeah. I'll also be off the internet for 5 days, so I'll hold your thoughts in my heart/head instead of my keyboard!)

I'm going to plan on an alcohol free day today. I have lots of things to do. I'm making a meal for a friend who lost her husband on Monday to cancer. It's going to be a rainy evening so I can cook, listen to some music, and enjoy some time with my sweet husband. I'm going to try the idea of affirmations, too. I can abstain from alcohol. I can abstain from alcohol.

They really have been helping me. I like "I can easily abstain from alcohol." Sounds braver somehow. Good luck, Othila. Newlife

I have an awesome therapist who used sort of affirmations - it needs to be a done deal affirmation as in 'I do not drink' or I do abstain from AL' - by saying that you CAN abstain does not mean that you will or do - sorry to be nit picky but my therapist is amazing and stopped me from doing all manner of things - we changed the way I looked at AL which was a bummer for me as I stopped enjoying it !! Didn't stop me drinking it but it changed a lot ! I really do need to do the affirmation thing too and will think about it today while I enjoy my Guinness - ROTFLMBO - sorry, not really funny I know - just tickled my funny bone !!

Zontar - that sounds really interesting - will you start a thread and post about what you are doing ? An AL- free research station? I mean - is it anything to do with AL or is it something totally different? Just being nosy ....

Hugs to all, Maggie x

I used to use "Everything will be ok so long as I don't drink".

That doesn't mean all your problems will be fixed by not drinking, it was more of a "So long as I don't drink I can deal with it" type statement.

I like that UKB that's a really good one. Newlife

I'm up to 58 days now and still stuck in about the same place. There are days when I only drink 2-3, but not very many. I am starting to examine whether these urges to drink are compulsive/addiction or just habit.

I am tired of hangovers and forgetting and spending so much money on wine. I am always compliant with the meds, though. I always take my pill and I always wait an hour.

Some things have improved. A box of wine always last 3 days instead of 2. I never switch to whiskey or beer if I run out of wine. I have only gotten up in the night to drink more one time in the last month. I never drink before 5 o'clock. I guess that is some progress.

I haven't pushed things too much in terms of alcohol-free days...not to experience ADE again. I'm not good at counting drinks...only have a general idea of how much I drink based on how long the box lasts. The hangovers have been less severe, too, which makes me believe I am not drinking as much as I once did. But I understand that at some point I should make more of an effort.

I am still hoping that I can become a moderate drinker but I have my doubts about that. Does anyone else wonder if that's going to be possible for them?

I'll carry on...