Cheeto - we are rushing round cleaning and have to be out of the house in an hour - someone is actually coming to look at it - but PLEASE know that we are here for you - I will PM you as soon as I can - hang in there - this really is going to work !!!

Hugs, Maggie x

Yes a triple whammy, that is so awful, Cheeto. BUT at least you know the menopause will pass. Still, I would push your doctor. I don't think there is an increased risk of cancer with bioidentical hormones: ask and push!! Please take care of yourself. XOXO from Newlife

Hi Cheeto - I haven't posted for a while, but your last post could have been made by me. I feel EXACTLY the same way. I am now six months taking Selincro almost every day (totally compliant) and don't seem to be making any progress at all. I also feel very down and depressed. I struggle to get up in the morning (I don't actually feel hung over, just really tired all the time). I've lost interest in most things - maybe too much information, but it has affected my sex life with hubby (which was great before) I just can't be bothered.

I too wonder whether I'm ever going to get results from this. I'm sticking with it. People say it needs a year - but really Cheeto, we are both in the same boat here. Hugs to you xxx

Cheeto - I am so sorry that you are so down right now - you have a lot going on and I also think the Nal does pull us down a little - I have had a couple of AF days each week now - albeit with the AB, but I do think it helps me. As for the hot sweats - I have also found that the drinking makes them worse - the more I have the worse they are - on a heavy night I can have one long hot sweat all night - HORRIBLE ! So for me that has started to be a good deterrent - I know that yours are not just AL related but it doesn't help - yet another good reason to cut back - and I am having to make myself do that as the Nal is not going to do it for me. Have you ever considered trying Antabuse ? I know that for some it is not a good answer but it does help with those ASF days - and once we start having those and realise how good we can feel, it gets better !

I too tried everything under the sun for the hot flushes - and also 'cos of cancer, could not take any hormones to help - but trust me - it does eventually pass! I know that is of no consolation for you right now, but you will feel better - my doctor would not give me anything either so I know how you feel about that.

Snapdragon - so sorry that you too are in the same boat - I just keep thinking of what UKB says about that we have to push ourselves to make this work - that the Nal will not do it on it's own, that we have to make ourselves cut down on the intake and also have AF days - so I am trying that - I have to start taking control of the AL - it has controlled my life for way too long !!!

Hang in there my friends, Hugs, Maggie xx

keep pushing on Cheeto. you have a lot of people in your corner.

Here is a quote by Paul Staley of the moderation manifesto.

Habitual drinking

If the binge drinker needs to think smaller, then the habitual drinker needs to do just the opposite: she needs to stop thinking in terms of small increments, and think in bigger terms. As a former habitual drinker, I can attest to feeling that my daily allotment of alcohol was a form of reward. The enabling ingredient was that useful instrument of minimization, the word “just.” It’s just a drink, just another glass, just a bit more. In and of itself, no big deal, right? But added together, it’s quite a different matter.

The cumulative sum of all those “little” drinks can put some big things at risk: your relationships, your health, your career. The small reward, as daily entitlement, can become a big detour that keeps you from doing other things with your time. Until you break the cycle of daily drinking, you cannot appreciate the extent to which you have been dulling yourself with rituals that long ago lost the authenticity of true celebration. Until you start having zero days, you cannot understand how “just” a few drinks the night before meant just that much slower a start to the following day.

So, the questioning for the habitual drinker begins with examining this need for reward, and if that need proves insatiable, then the exploration of alternative ways of being nice to oneself. Beyond that, the habitual drinker needs to look at what the payoffs could be for exercising a modicum of delayed gratification. What big things can be saved and what else can be accomplished if you learn to defer “just” a few of those little glasses of reward? Have you been selling yourself too cheaply, trading other things you could do in exchange for a couple glasses?

That’s enough for now! Back at you sometime soon.



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Posted by Paul Staley

Guapo - thanks for posting!! I LOVE THIS!! And I need to post it all over my house, have it tattooed on my arm, whatever it takes. I really need to read and reread it and think deeply about it. Thanks so very much. Newlife

Guapo - I agree with newlife - this is great - I am not a binge drinker but am most definitely a habitual drinker - and I need to think long and hard - I really need to start thinking about a lot of stuff to do with AL - I know I keep harping on about what UKB says - but she said about taking charge of it and not assuming that Nal will do it on it's own - she had to also work hard to get where she is now - and I plan on doing that ! Stuff like this quote is profound and I need to re-read it often! Newlife - I am not going to have it tattooed on my arm - but might print it out - LOL

Hugs, Maggie x

Thank You all for your great responses:

Ukblonde: I do know alcohol is a depressant but I just seem to want to escape all my alcohol and menopause problems and know it adds to them but it's like the hamster on the wheel with me, ughhh!

Maggie: Wow, you must be super busy with the move and crossing my fingers you will sell your place soon. I am thinking of going with a Realtor now cause most Realtors don't want to deal with places that are for sale by owner, so will see how that goes.
I tried Antabuse years ago and had some really bad reactions with it. I just have to force some AF days and get used to doing it on my own. I will just have to tough out the Menopause thing and hope I get over it soon as I have been going through this for years and years but it seems to have got worse lately, crazy what some women have to go through!

Newlife: Yes, hopefully it will pass soon than later. I am trying to get an appointment with my Doctor now to discuss this.

Snapdragon: Reading your post made me think of so many others that were in the same place as us and they stuck with it and had success so ultimately we just have to have Patience, Faith and stick to The Golden Rule.
I also struggle to get up everyday since I don't sleep through the night ever and just feel tired all the time. So I need to give it at least a year before I start bitching and complaining again, lol!

Zontar: Thanks for the support, it's great having people like you.

Guapo: Thank You for the very helpful quote and yes I have been selling myself too cheaply!

Hugs to everyone here again that is so supportive as it makes such a world of difference with this battle I and most of us are going through. xoxoxo

Maggie - That would be an expensive tattoo!! And I sound like I have so much experience but I don't even have a tattoo. Much too chicken for that kind of pain. Nice to have a laugh, though. Newlife