D2 - don't you have any hobbies you'd like to spend more time doing? People you'd like to see more of? Whatever things you think of with pleasure should be cultivated in real life. This 'time' is all we've got - and I believe we're all here for a purpose. Find your purpose, and you'll find your happiness.

One thing I know for sure: happiness and fulfillmnet does not come in a bottle!

So, it sounds as though you are physically able to get out of the house and do normal things - so what's the problem? Don't know how to get connected with other people? Alcohol has you habitually hiding out from the real world? Underlying depression? Or are you just experiencing plain old inertia? Computers, combined with alcohol, can do that!

There is no way I believe that you can't change your situation. Controlling marriage? Either get some counseling to learn how to change things, or get the he** out of it. I did, and it was the best thing I ever did for myself. I don't know your situation, but unless you're somehow physically bound to some place or person - you alone have the power to change it. Since this is real life, and not a practice session, I can't encourage you enough to do so asap! If your mind is too set in the "It can't be done" groove. . .go talk to someone. A counselor, friend, minister - anyone who can help you get a different perspective.

The situation you've described is very unhealthy - no wonder you drink. Do you have any outside interests, or something you always thought you'd like to take up for a hobby? How about volunteering at a hospital, nursing home, mission, woman's shelter, children's after school program, family advocacy program, or food pantry? These are much more satisfying than you might imagine, and a rich source of potential friendships with high quality, compassionate people. They certainly help a person get out of their own heads! Interested in animals? Foster care for the local shelter, or get involved with a therapeutic riding program. Like to read? Join a local book club, or get involved with a literacy program for those who need to learn to read. Interested in spiritual topics? Take a meditation class, learn Reiki, go to Sunday School, join a Bible study. Need to get in condition? Join a gym, or call up some neighbors to arrange regular walks. Like nature? Join a hiking club. Or a gardening group.

There is NO END to the FREE ways you can improve your life, and come out of the shell you describe. There's not enough time in the day to cover all the wonderful things you could add to your life - nor words in the language to express how much your life will improve if you just get off that computer and go out and LIVE!

G4M, wish I knew how to print your post to keep on hand and read all the time. I am not sure what is going on here with our friend, but have thought it may be depression coupled with agorophopia, which I have had it the past. Would not wish that on my worst enemy and hard to explain. If this is the case she/he would give anything to be able to do what you suggest but the mind is a tricky thing and it is just about impossible, when in that state ,to do what we so wish we could!!!! Your suggestions are great if this is not the case. I need to get a life also and since falling into the bottle again have put aside many things that I loved in the past. Hope that the future will find me getting back to those things.

Awww. . .I wasn't trying to make anyone feel bad - just the opposite. We alkies sometimes get so blinded to all life has to offer when we're floating around within the confines of our daily bottle (or two), that it seemed it might be useful to remind our friend that there are many, many rich alternatives to a closed up, lifeless life. I didn't think of agorophobia, as she mentioned times she could go out and do things 'normal.' She pointed to controlling relationships and cultural reasons for her isolation - neither of which is as insurmountable as it seems to the one looking at it from a personal perspective.

Life, is to be lived! Alcoholism has robbed us of enough, without our unnecessarily giving up even more.

Hey, you know sometimes writing here comes off different than intended. G4m I actually loved your post
and was not being a wise guy when I said I wanted to print it out! Getting lost in the bottle is a true issue and when we climb out we need to think of good things to do with that time we used drinking. Your suggestions were great. Sorry if what I said was confusing. G4M you always try to help and that is evident.

DRINK 2 MUCH

I read your post last night late and am very concerned about you. WTE and G4M offered you some very sound advice.

During the night I was going over in my mind what I wanted to say to you today, but G4M covered it almost word for word .

( been sneaking in my dreams again ? )

Why we drink doesn't matter, that we choose to stop or learn to control our drinking is the only thing that matters. TSM gives us

a choice.

Isolation is a fertile breeding ground for drunks and depression, as G4M so accurately advised you GET OUT OF THE HOUSE...as she pointed

out there are thousands of things to do, if it's agoraphobia ( been there ) it can be addressed , if it's a controlling spouse that can be addressed.

You indicate you live in the UK so it must not be some antiquaited religious laws restricting women. FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO . I would suggest that you keep a journal

not only of how many drinks you have and the cravings, but also how you feel about day, about the "triggers" in your life,etc. CAUTION : you should only do this

if you have a safe place to keep your journal ,as I think it is very important to be completely honest with yourself as to what you write.

I have found it helpful to break or at least alter some drinking habits ie: used to I would mix a drink and go into my office and do computer stuff and drink and drink,etc.

Now I still mix my scotch & water, take a sip and then leave it sitting on the bar and purposely go do something else ( but not in my office yet) and come back to my drink later.

This is a very small example, but it's one of the ways to break routines and habits that have become ingrained and that we associate with drinking. Everyone on this site is here for the

same reason, to regain control of our drinking and to help in anyway we can those that desire the same thing. AA didn't work for me, but I'll borrow one of their "sayings" :

" We'll love you until you can learn to love yourself "

Take Care and keep us posted

I couldn't have said it better than the ones above. We are concerned & care - keep us posted on your progress. Find some happiness somewhere! :-)