Maggie

I was using Naltrexone for alcohol.

Yes I did 8 days, although when I looked I realised it's the 8th day when I had the binge, 7th day the previous time so it's not 8 clear days.

Anyhoo, I have set a target of eating on the 10th day for next time.

I did wavver a bit on Friday I had my Dominos order in online about to hit the paypal pay button, then I closed it down and went to bed.

Doing something different.

A therapist gave me that one.

Change what you do she said. Go through the ritual but change it. New patterns and I believe it shows that you don't have to go through with it. Just like buying alcohol, you still have the option to say no right up until the point at which the liquid touches your lips.

You can put it down at any point, say no, throw it away.

Hi there UKB - good for you going up in days each time - you have a will of iron I think! That is an interesting theory re the changing things - I read a thing by David Hawkins that once the idea of the drink was there, you were doomed (basically). You have to cut it off at the pass as it were. I am glad that it is working for you. I can feel your struggle through your words - wish I could do/say something profound !

hang in there.....

hugs, Maggie xx

You are definitely brave UK Blonde!! And a fantastic inspiration for all of us still struggling with the alcohol. I am sure you will get this under control just as you did the AL. Food must be harder because you can't abstain. Keep up the good work. Hugs from Newlife

Thanks everyone.

I can abstain because it's only junk food that causes me a problem.

So I just don't eat biscuits, chocolate, sweets, bread, pizza, crisps. I cannot moderate these foods so I don't eat them in my day-to-day diet. Only on a binge - because that is all I want to binge on.

I get it - that is a good way to look at it. Newlife

So I'm on day seven without a food binge.

I have been tempted, so I took a Selincro yesterday. I walked out the door intending to head for the shop, then turned right around and went back inside.

I also received some news from my partner that involved something that hurt me, he didn't do it intentionally but it made me feel as if everything we'd been through, and had achieved and agreed that week had been a waste of time. It isn't and it won't be but it was frustrating and hurtful at the same time. I then of course really wanted to binge.

What I did was turn around those thoughts into "It doesn't matter what anyone else does, I can control my eating and I can control it no matter what other people say or do. Think about it, no matter what happens I have myself and can achieve great things".

Maggie knows that for me controlling my diet is really, really important for something else I do in my life, in which I happen to be fairly talented. My overall health and well being is really important for some other things too.

I was also thinking that some of the stuff I'm doing, some of the things I'm blethering about might be useful to people still struggling with their drinking.

I find the urges to binge really, really similar to the urges to drink back when I was drinking in an alcoholic manner. Yes I'd have the normal, every day cravings BUT if someone said or did something to 't' me off, then all defences were down and I was off, and it never made anything better.

I don't need to blame others for my choices and my behaviours, so long as I am ok I can control how I respond.

It still wasn't a great evening, spent it moping and sleeping on the sofa.........all night, but it wasn't eating and it wasn't drinking (and I don't smoke or take any other mind altering drug or med).

Feck, it's a sober life and it's hard!

Ugh, UK Blonde, sorry for the trouble with your partner. Yes even sober life is messy. But we have to know that it is less messy when sober, and I am so proud of you for handling everything the way that you did. I hope things are better now.

Your thought processes are really brave and helpful. Yes, we are all responsible for ourselves, which may be scary, but isn't it great that it also means that we alone can help ourselves without needing to rely on others? Isn't that liberating?

Hoping for a better day for you tomorrow. Hugs from Newlife

It's not a problem as such, he simply tries too hard at times. It was an example of when people say things that act as a 'trigger', on the surface they seem trivial, but I know alcoholics and other addictions look for 'reasons' to drink (or eat), and one tiny thing can make that tip.

Absolutely. My mind is always telling me "I need a drink". "I deserve a drink" at even the smallest amount of stress. And while maybe there was a day a long time ago when that drink made things better or easier to take, I think it is safe to say that day is pretty long gone for me now, and the AL is actually causing way more problems than it is helping with. Most of all in my own sense of self esteem.

Yup, hard day today, it's also day 8.............was about to walk out the door to the choccy and sandwich shop, started looking on line at delivery food...........then shut it all down and had a healthy meal instead.

So close BUT turned around.

I kept thinking, "I'll feel much better tomorrow if I do not, physically and mentally". I like my bright eyes. When I scarf I get puffy eyes, puffy face, puffy hands. I also did not want to have to take Selincro again, it is evil.

Woooohhhhoooo.