Welcome! You are in great company and your story is A LOT like mine. Let's dispel a BIG MYTH about "alcoholism" up front -- the same myth that has kept me drinking like a fish for at least five, if not ten years, longer than I should have. There are MANY alkies (and I use that term with the most positive connotation as I, and most of my friends, fall into this group) ROUTINELY go three or four days without drinking. In fact, most weeks for me are 3-4 days AF! And guess what, put a liter bottle of vodka in front of me, give me a full night, and I can drink it without falling over or slurring my words! Read the intros -- we problem drinkers fall into every category imaginary. BTW, screw three or four days, even before starting TSM less than two weeks ago, I could go a week without drinking and without thinking much about it. But I always go back to drinking heavily; always, for thirty years before TSM. And my pattern for at least ten years has been this: Sunday through Wednesday, mostly AF, maybe a few days of light drinking. Thursday night: ONE OF MY BEST BUDDIES' NIGHT on shift at my favorite bar ("favorite" solely because he has worked there for the past 20 years and gives me free drinks). Thursday night usually involves ten to fifteen drinks no problem, and driving, how STUPID. (Only one DWI, a MIRACLE). Friday and Saturday more of the same. Maybe I'll have five or maybe I'll have 15, depends on what's going on, but I drink 99% Thursday through Saturday. By Sunday I am either totally hungover on the couch and barely functional, or I'm just fatigued. That was my pattern since graduating from law school in '94 and never missing work, never getting fired or any of the other dumbass questions your doctor asks you when they suspect you are an alkie. For me, the reason I sought treatment is 99% mental. Sunday through Tuesday have become recovery days -- it took me years to recognize it. I am at a lower energy level, I am not motivated and am just making it through those days. I am no longer the GO GETTER I used to be at maybe 15 years of binge drinking. Lesser attorneys (in my humble opinion) are far more successful than me and why? Because three days of the week I'm just TOLERATING life, recovering from all of the booze I've consumed. And Wednesday rolls around, 72-96 hours have passed since my last drink, and I'm energized and motivated! Feeling GREAT on Thursday so it's off to Scott's bar to celebrate on Thursday night! So guess what, if you can go three or four days without having a craving to drink, or sit next to someone who is drinking and not feel like having one yourself, THAT MEANS NOTHING my friend! Nothing! Look at your own story from a larger perspective -- separate those meaningless trees from the forest! If driving your daughter around is viewed as nothing more than an intrusion on your drinking habit, IT'S TIME TO QUIT/REDUCE YOUR DRINKING. I say that with fondness and empathy and have said the same thing to myself: get motivated, get back to being a "go getter" and put down the friggin' booze! Which I am doing VERY WELL under TSM! IT WORKS! Read my progress reports and everyone else's! You are in good company my friend and are well on your way back if you follow the rule, naltrexone + drink = CURE! Good luck!

Nick, really good post. Can see why you chose to be an attorney. It all resonates with me. I cling to those words because you are so right on this one!

Good post, Nick. I've been an everyday drinker for several years now. Before Sinclair, I drank heavier than many of my alcoholic friends. My sister and others I know pride themselves on having AF days, on being able to quit after a certain number of drinks, etc., etc. But the bottom line is, alcohol is negatively impacting their lives, whether they know/admit it or not. It certain has mine! My gosh, I used to be such a go-getter! I successfully started and ran several businesses, raised four very active kids, ran a sizeable horse farm, regularly socialized with a large circle of (non-drinking) friends, attended sports and social events, traveled, taught at large public presentations. . .the list goes on.

Then the alcohol started taking over. My circle of friends diminished. I turned the reins of the business more and more over to other people, and it started spinning out of control. To remedy this, I entered into a foolish contract with a larger (competitive) company, and they put me out of business. My socializing now consists of meeting with other alcoholics and. . .drinking. I am much less active physically, and less motivated professionally.

I'm happy that my drinking has become less, but cannot wait for the day when alcohol simply becomes a non-issue in my life.

As to the AF days - while I didn't have them, my youngest daughter certainly does. Because she can go days without a drink, she doesn't believe she has a problem. But she does binge drink regularly, and her sweet, generous personality changes completely - she becomes angry, and mean. There's not an iota of doubt in my mind that she is an alcoholic. Which is to say, Nick is right - if alcohol has any negative effect on your life, then you'd better face up to the fact that you have a problem, and deal with it head on.

TSM gives us a way to do that. Hooray!

G4M - I am so sorry about your daughter and know you are heartbroken about it. Do not blame yourself. I will keep my fingers crossed for both you & her...please do the same for me. My 2 teenaged kids (16 & 18), so far, are following the straight & narrow. No desire to drink altho they have friends who do, been to parties, etc where it is going on. I am so impressed and proud of them...still, who knows when that may change -

I would be heartbroken and soooooooooooo concerned if either of them developed a drinking problem. You are a good mother - continue to be so. I know you are, girlfriend.

And isn't it funny, how "high-functioning" we describe ourselves during all this...to think w/o AL how much more high functioning we could be?? I cannot fathom it - Heart Attack City!! I already go full tilt in my mind :-)

Thank you ppl.

I'm not hiding from the fact I have a problem - I wouldn't be here otherwise. And I know I need to tackle it, and I'm committed to doing just that. I appreciate all the support so far - and I'm still waiting on my naltrexone to arrive so I can start

I don't want to overstate the case on the issue of driving my daughter round on a Friday night. It is part of life as a parent - the bit where you make sacrifices in your own life for your kids. Same as getting out of bed early to feed them when they're kids, or cooking a meal for them when you just feel like snoozing on the couch after a long day, or helping them with homework when your brain is fried from the office. I mightn't be too thrilled to have to forego a night out with my buddies because I have to collect her from accross town, but its not like I express that as any form of resentment to here. Its no different to being a bit disappointed that you're missing your favourite TV program to help them with their school project, or have to pause in the middle of painting the house to collect them from their friends b-day party etc. Where the difference is that in all the above, there is just a quick 'rational' speedbump, while with anything alchohol related you know there will also be a craving aspect that you'll have to undergo. Long story short I don't view it (driving her around) as "nothing more than an intrusion on your drinking habit". Nonetheless I do take your point in the spirit it was offered and I have an issue to address there as I've acknowledge.
By the way, while I'm being a pedantic wordsmith - I think you meant "we problem drinkers fall into every category imaginable", as 'imaginary' would quite different connotations

Yes, quite right, "imaginable" not "imaginary." That correction aside, there were about thirty other examples I could have selected from your narrative that show beyond any reasonable doubt that your drinking is clearly out of hand. I probably should have picked another example that was less emotional for you so that you would focus on my larger point: the fact you can go a day or two AF and don't try to rip a drink out of your buddy's hand at the bar is meaningless. You have a problem my friend, a BIG drinking problem. (As all of us here do.) But good news: naltrexone will almost certainly solve it, if you follow TSM. Cheers!

Thanks Nick.

I just introduced myself today and then read this thread -

It totally clicked w/ me as to why I can be AF for 2 days or so (rarely make it to the 3rd anymore) - Those 2 days are just for tolerating life until I get ready to drink again. The 3rd day feels great and I get a ton of stuff done, cook a great meal, play with the kids.... and then start pouring the drinks at dinnertime

Had noticed this pattern before but having it explained in here - wow. It really makes me sad to think of how long this has been going on - life shouldn't just be tolerated...

Virginia

Virginia, although I don't have children, the rest of what you have explained sounds so much like my pattern too. Just thought I would let you know. Two days sober, third day feel great get a lot done and want to celebrate and or the cravings chime in!

I dunno - all the mom talk makes me think. We do not need anything else to feel guilty about. Just being mothers we question everything we do and worry our kids are going to "out" us on Maury f***ing Povich...that we are going to screw them up like our mothers did us. I remember the greatest line out of "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood", something along the lines of "I was a good mother. I might have raised my kids with a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other, but I raised them..."

I know I was a good mother. My children confirm it, we talk & I ask and talk about what their father accused me of, etc. You and I and all of us...unless you beat your children, we did a good job. I was also irritated with the demands, though, and yes, felt huge guilt. But our kids are not direct products of us. There are so many factors that weigh in on their characters and personalities. So don't beat yourself up too much. Just love them. I do feel for the ones on here who may be too drunk for their kids...that's a problem. I am not being critical, just concerned for them.

But Virginia, don't beat yourself up. Sounds like you are addressing your problem in the right way and I take my hat off that you are doing it on your own steam, and not b/c your spouse has made an issue, etc.

Good luck and keep posting! Glad to have you here!