thank you Maggie for both the insight and the support. It really means the world. And about my pre nal intake; I really only have the couple of weeks I was waiting for my nal to arrive to go by: that is what the numbers are from because before that I wasn't tracking. I suspect that actually it was higher because I think that once I made the decision to try TSM I started watching and therefore cutting back whereas before I just did whatever I wanted. But whatever the numbers, when you consistently cannot remember what you did and said the night before that is not a good way to live! Let alone to raise 2 daughter. Hugs back to you Newlife

Thought I'd post a sort of mid-week (I started my nal on a Tuesday so my tracking week ends Monday night) report to record how yesterday (Saturday) went. Friday night went well for me, drank only 2 units and was pleased to notice no cravings for more. Usually the weekend nights are my downfall, no surprise there I suppose. Anyway I felt so GREAT when I woke up Saturday with no hangover, felt really energetic and got a lot done; good Saturday with my family and it was also my wedding anniversary. I even noted while I was getting ready to go out for dinner with my husband that I had not done the usual thing and opened a bottle of wine in the afternoon to start drinking. Normally I start in the afternoon, drink while I am getting ready to go out if I do go out to "put me in the mood". I didn't do any of this and really didn't want to. Finished up a really nice and, even better, really productive day by getting ready to go out while drinking A GLASS OF WATER. I cannot remember the last time that happened to me. And it felt really good, a little strange, but I didn't experience cravings. So I was thinking: THIS IS WORKING!! I AM CHANGING!! I was very happy, to say the least.

So to start our evening my husband and I shared a bottle of champagne with his aunt and uncle whose anniversary happens to be on the same night. It felt strange and wonderful to begin a social evening with another couple SOBER: usually I am already well on my way by the time others start drinking. Then we both went our separate ways and my husband, youngest daughter and I walked to a lovely celebration dinner. I had just one cocktail and a nice glass of wine with dinner. The perfect amount of alcohol, and very respectable for a celebration dinner, I was thinking. It felt good not to stress on how quickly the waiter was coming back so that I could order more wine before my husband finished dinner. We walked home, enjoying a lovely night.

SO WHY DID I FIND IT NECESSARY ONCE WE GOT HOME TO GO AHEAD AND HAVE ANOTHER VERY STRONG COCKTAIL, one that was probably the equivalent of two US units? So that then I did feel drunk, found it hard to sleep, and woke up feeling hungover this morning??? Hungover, sad and disappointed in myself. I know it's still early days for me (I'm in my seventh week), I know I cannot expect a quick fix, I know, I know, but I am still having a really hard time understanding myself. Feels like I sabotage myself.

Discouraged......................Newlife

Oh Newlife - you are not perfect - you are human and this is not going to be a quick fix - you had a great evening out though so enjoy the memory of that instead of being disappointed in yourself for what happened when you got home. I think you are doing really well - to not open the wine before you went out - I know I would have had a drink before going ! I think you are being too hard on yourself.

Hang in there,

Hugs, Maggie xx

Thank you Maggie. No it is not going to be a quick fix, is it? This is a tough thing that we are all going through and I know I have it a lot better than many people The reality of it is sometimes painful, though. Newlife

Hi Newlife: take credit for that whole day instead of beating yourself up for that drink at home, you did very well.
Yes it is still early, hell I am over 6 months in and have to keep the Faith and stick to the Golden Rule for as LONG as it takes!
That is a normal thing for me too, to drink before I go out to get primed, drink copious amounts when I am out and then come home and have more. Then the next day the hangover, remorse and hatred kicks in.
As I said to Maggie we have to be kinder to ourselves as we are our worst critics the day after heavy drinking, I know I am!
Take care and don't sweat it, you are doing great...
Nal On!

Thank you, Cheeto, I know that yours is turning into a long haul and I know that must be very hard for you too. I've spent some time this afternoon looking at older threads here; it does help to know that we are not alone. Also helps when people like you, Maggie, UK Blonde and the many others here care enough to reach out. I'm planning to go to bed early tonight and hoping to wake up with a new attitude tomorrow. And it was a nice day yesterday, you and Maggie are right, I can't lose sight of that. I just want to have more of them. I want that for us all! Hugs to you Cheeto, Newlife

So here are my numbers for the end of Week 7. My consumption has not gone down. I did have one AF, but that was only because I was hungover from the night before, pretty much my pattern. Fast responder I am not. But I refuse to give up hope. I am a very strong person, a survivor, and I am going to get control of this. I just don't want to feel this way anymore.

Thanks to everyone who is posting here now. At this point you guys are really the only support that I have (still haven't shared TSM with DH or anyone else for that matter), and it is truly like a lifeline.

Question: my older sister has out of the blue left her husband after 20+ years of marriage. She says he drinks too much, drinks daily, and she can't take it anymore. Like the rest of my family, she drinks but very little. (We are all adopted, but my bio family has lots of addicts of all sorts.) I can totally understand why she would not want to live with an alcoholic, which is ironic, isn't it? I wouldn't want to live with me either. (I really hope I am not offending anyone by saying that, I am really talking only about myself). But, of course my heart goes out to my brother-in-law. He has told her that while he will try to cut down, he is not going to stop drinking. She says she still loves him but just cannot live with the daily drinking. My family members, who don't live in the same city, know that I like to drink and party when we are together, but I don't think any of them would call me a problem drinker. Neither would my brother-in-law. That is how well I am able to hide it, unless I am fooling myself. So now to the question: should I send him a package with a copy of The Cure for Alcoholism, perhaps a starter supply of the nal that I order online, and a letter pouring my heart out about this? We are not particularly close at all, although I do care for him very much and am going to miss him. A big part of me says, though, that I should not try to tell others what to do, that people need to find their own way. Thoughts?/Experiences?

Newlife

YES, I know we have not had total success yet from TSM but I have sent the information to people that I know need the help and they can make up their own minds. Good God I wish someone had told me about TSM years and years ago and maybe I would be on the Cured list today. I would give him the information and share this Forum with him to get him started then he can decide if he wants to order the Nal. This could maybe save his life, help him change and you never know maybe get his marriage back!

I have actually told all my family and friends what I am doing and hope to God this works as they are skeptical but I keep telling them it will work but it could take me more time than what the book has stated. Then I will shout it from the rooftops if it all works for me and I can tell everyone I am Cured!
Nal On!

Newlife - I would definitely share it with him - send him the book - not necessarily the Nal but definitely the book - my brother also has a problem so I did send him the book - he said that he wants to try it his own way first - so he stops (white knuckling) for a few days then of course is worse than ever. I think when Nal works for me he will maybe change his mind - and possibly your BIL will be similar - at least send him the book - and explain how well you hide stuff maybe - it will be hard for you to open up to him but I personally would do that. I even told my mum about the Nal when I was there..... and had NOT planned on that.

I also empathise with your sister but she also cannot understand that he just cannot stop - no matter how much he loves her or wants to - if it was that easy then none of us would be here.

SO sorry for all that is going on - very sad .....

Hugs, Maggie xx

Thank you, Cheeto and Maggie, for your thoughts. Yes, when we can we should reach out and try to help others.

Maggie, you are so right, my sister just cannot understand why he cannot just stop. She totally doesn't get it. Any of us lucky enough to have a supportive and understanding SO (I didn't say perfect, but someone who is standing by and trying to help!) should be very grateful.

XOXO Newlife