nigelr wrote:
Hello Guapo,
I am very interested in how you went from drinking too much to seemingly taking it or leaving it. I don't want to drink because of the buzz, and I warned myself that if I started TSM I would likely drink very very little as the balance of blocky happy receptors vs drinking should mean AF days always win.
I can see why 12 step program forced abstinence doesn't work as you are always imagining your missing out, and so I lose nothing by reminding myself that alcohol is a poison etc etc.
Here is the thing I have 2 perfect outcomes but they cant both be correct or suitable for me
1/ drink very occasionally, realising that its always a balance between losing a day of happy hormones and having a drink
or
2/ stop all together
the thing is for 1/ to work you have to actually think drinking is ok especially in small amounts, that goes right against /2
if drinking isn't really worth it why bother?
you know at the moment my biggest things stopping me from totally giving up are... 1/ I own a vineyard and its nice to drink the produce, 2/ I spend a lot of time with mates walking and socialising and drinking is a big part of that, 3/ I cant quite get my head around the idea that I don't enjoy drinking and I am not going for the will power method.
Hmmmm. I can see the dilemma of being surrounded by and whispered to by good wine all the time.
The best outcome with TSM is to not WANT to drink.,(Re-read this line 100 times)
Because:
1. It removes the good "high", and replaces it with sleepiness, etc.
2. Since that's what drinking results in, the learned and expected "reward" is gone. Why drink if you'll feel nothing or feel sleepy, etc.
3. That outcome will prevent overdrinking, and in general, prevent drinking in the first place
4. Life now sucks because you cannot de-stress and enjoy a night of wine-drinking and liquid escape.
Counterview:
1. If that high is so great, why is it so elusive, and so easy to drink right past it (dis-inhibition). Very few if any posters here can position themselves into that sweet spot accurately, or else they wouldn't be here.
2. The bulk of the human race drinks rarely, and not to get drunk. It has failed all of us here as a stress reliever, so why use it as that ? The bad consequences are way more stressful than any release.
3. It is a stunning surprise to discover overdrinking is nightmarish, and meaningless. Not drinking on any given day is discovered to be A-OK, because it won't matter, as you find you'll feel better not "intoxicated" by alcohol.
4. Life is fine, actually better because you aren't destroying it by drinking. There is no reason you can't have some wine, or a drink sometimes. (It still tastes good and has it's place with meals or ballgames, or whatever.) That is preferable to ruminating endlessly about the next drink or drinking session. Since you don't crave or "want" alcohol at this point, you are free of it's prison.
Take note of folks at a gathering, many drink very little if at all. Do those drinking "lots", look attractive and in a good place?
When I started this process, the "want" and "need" to drink was what defined my whole life. Not now. There are much better ways to live life, but on your own terms. It required a change in mindset, and it can be done.
ps...... I disagree that the "happy" receptors are blocked by NAL.