I find loads to do, but I always enjoyed sleeping - another form of escape I guess. Watching films - something I couldn't do drunk although I still fall asleep, but sober sleep is fine. Umm I can internet all night long, social media, MWO or this forum, look things up, read a book, write blog.

I'm struggling with a non-substance addiction and I will purposely phone a friend or family, something I don't like doing because I'd rather be in my own world or doing whatever other naughty escaping thing.

I also think enjoying just being alive and not pissed is a new thing to learn. It doesn't however come over night. Now when I look back I think of all that time when I was numb, or partly numb, or tipsy and think what on earth was I doing.

I hate to count my chickens before they hatch, but I finally feel like something is beginning to happen here! I mentioned that in the past few weeks I haven't 'craved' alcohol but seem to be almost mentally forcing it on myself. Even when I haven't felt like a drink, I've taken my pill at 5pm anyway because I believe that I will get to 6.30pm and the craving will be so bad I will be tempted to crack open a bottle. Then, because I've taken the pill, I think 'what the hell, I've taken it, I might as well drink now.'

Last night, I really didn't want a drink. I don't mean that I simply wasn't craving, but the thought of having a glass of wine repulsed me. Stupidly (I know, I know), I went with my usual pattern and took my pill and then opened the wine anyway. I thought this is probably just a one off. However, today I feel the same. I really don't want a glass of wine. It's now 5pm and I really do not want a drink tonight. I have no feelings of craving, no feelings of loss (what will I be missing). I just sniffed the half empty bottle of red wine left from last night - just to make sure I'm not imagining things - and I really don't fancy drinking it.

So for the first time - I am having an AF day because I really do not want to drink.

I have deliberately not forced AF days as there were split opinions as to whether it helps move things forward or not and I was feeling utter despair that nothing seems to be happening.

As I say - I'm not counting my chickens, but this is the first time in years that I have felt this way. Fingers crossed that this will continue.

Woo hoo, remember you don't have to drink if you don't want too.

Good for you Snapdragon!! You are farther along than me. I am still in the place of wanting an AF day but taking the pill for fear that if I don't the craving will overcome me before I can wait the hour. Feels uncomfortable and desparate.

sounds like some promising progress Snap - keeping my fingers crossed for you

-badger

Very nice Snap, wtg. You've come a long ways and it's just a matter of time now. Getting rid of the compulsive desire was major. These af days that you will soon start adding are just the icing on the cake. Applause!

Oh Snap - that is sounding SO promising !!! I am really happy for you - maybe the next day try actually not drinking instead of having it as usual ? Cannot remember who said it here, but someone said that you actually have to force it if you are feeling that way .... instead of just doing the usual ! If the feelings are there, follow them !!

Hugs, Maggie x

Snapdragon I am really proud of you! I have noticed a few days a week I feel like I am forcing the alcohol where in the past I easily guzzled it. I completely believe this "brain" resistance to it is working for me but the "habit" wants to take over. It's great to see how well you are doing!

Hello everyone - sorry for not posting for a while. I've been away on business for just over a week and then straight back to the Easter holidays, so simply haven't visited the site for a while. Still sticking to TSM without fail.

Not really much to report. I'm still drinking more than I want to and should. Whilst away on business I got food poisoning and was really sick for two days and hardly drank any alcohol for almost a week (I was hardly eating either). I didn't feel I was missing anything by not drinking - no cravings or anything, but then I was unwell.

Since getting home, I've been drinking too much wine each night again - but I do realise that this is purely habit. We had family to stay for the weekend and so we all drank with our meals in the evening. I woke this morning feeling really tired - not really hungover, but just like I had too much to drink last night and am feeling the affects.

I don't want to drink today. Looking back at last week, I liked the feeling of being sober, sleeping well and waking up feeling refreshed in the morning - even though I was ill. One thing that I noticed was the lack of craving. Before TSM, even if I was really ill and throwing up, the craving to drink would be too much and I would drink anyway and make myself even more unwell. Whilst I was ill and not drinking, I really didn't miss it and had virtually no cravings. With this in mind, I know I just have to break the habit. Stop picking up those bottles of wine when I go to the supermarket and learn to live without it.

hi Snap,

nice to hear from you

it sounds to me like TSM has been working its magic on you & has broken down a lot of the dopamine reward pathway - just need to make a leap of faith & kick the habit side of things now! easier said than done, I know - I feel like I'm in a similar position

all the best

-badger