Thanks for all the encouragement, everyone!! I haven't been able to post much this week because we had a death in the family: my sister-in-law, extremely tragic circumstances. But I wanted to sign on quickly to document Week 2.
First, The good news: TWO AF days!!! Woo Hoo!! They are the first ones I have had in a very long time, and I also had them back to back. The bad news is that they followed a night where I drank too much wine too quickly (about a bottle), and then went out to dinner with my husband and six year old daughter. It was a couple of days after we had heard the news about his sister, and I just completely lost it right at the dinner table in a restaurant. As in uncontrollable sobbing and crying, and sort of a semi-blackout. Yes, I am entitled to my grief, but the out-of-control nature, timing, etc. I know was due to the drinking, and as most of you here know, that doesn't feel good. Especially in public and in front of my daughter.
The weird thing is that the next day I did NOT have a hangover. Normally I think I would have. Also, I have drunk that much before (it was over a period of a few hours), and not had that same effect, so I wonder if the nal sort of exacerbated things for me.
I am trying to take to heart some comments I have seen on this forum about SLOWING DOWN with the drinks consciously, I think it really helps. I do find that at the end of the day I am sort of desparate to take the NAL, and then desparate to pour a drink (the desparate to pour a drink part probably has been true for a long time now, I just have gotten so used to it that I didn't notice it). Last night I felt that way, went ahead and had one gin and tonic, but then slowed way down and waited like an hour before having another - I don't want to say I was white knuckling but I was disciplining myself to do it. By the time I had the second one, I did finish it, but I honestly I could have taken it or left it, and that NEVER happens to me. Usually I want more and more.
Also with the AF days, they were not FORCED exactly, but conscious, I had to coax myself along to see how they would feel. And they felt GREAT, that feeling of sobriety was unusual yes, but also wonderful.
I also should report that I have followed the golden rule, except on two occasions I think I only waited 45 minutes and not the whole hour. Part of the desparate feeling to get that drink that I want to get rid of.
I hate the sloppy part that happened at the restaurant, but other than that I am extremely proud of myself this week, particularly given everything that my family and I are going through.
Looking forward to having the time in the next few days to check in and see how others are doing. Nal on!!
_________________ Newlife started 3/3/15 Pre-TSM 26 - 30 US Units/week
Month 1 16/wk av 4AF month 2 17/wk av 5 AF 3 18/wk av 6 AF 4 NT 5 NT 6 NT 7 17/wk av 4 AF 8 17/wk av 5 AF 9 13/wk av 5 AF 10 & 11 NT Beginning tracking again Week 48 Wk 48 18/2 49 14.5/2
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