Thanks Bob.

He's already talking about doing "controlled drinking" on our vacation--which starts in 9 days--and then starting abstinence "in earnest" when we get home. I know what that means. I also know that he will be constantly confronted with alcohol on our vacation. We're going to Maui with extended family--all drinkers--and there will be alcohol served at the pool, on the beach, at dinner--EVERYWHERE!

Should I insist on abstinence through the trip? Order the naltrexone to take with us? Would baclofen be better? Our kids will have a fit if he gets drunk on the trip--which will pretty much ruin it for everyone.

Any/all advice will be helpful. And thank you--this board feels like a a lifeline.

Oh dear, you're in a quandry. It's pretty certain hubby will drink, and will get drunk. (Sorry. . .I wish you hadn't told him about the Nal so soon. It just gave his alkie mind a great excuse.) You absolutely MUST get the naltrexone, IMO. He will still drink, and get drunk, but there will probably be a different quality to it. Many of us experienced a change in the way we behave under the influence almost as soon as we started the naltrexone. If you read my early progress reports, you'll see what I mean. The experience of drinking has changed drastically. I don't get erratic. I don't have blackouts or hangovers. I don't slur my words or get repetitive. Have not once got critical or mean (a rare thing for me, anyway - but sometimes I did tend to major on people's perceived shortcomings.) My BF tells me I'm not repetitive, as I was. When we go out or have guests, I have intelligent, interesting conversations - and remember them all the next day. It's amazing!

In short, when I drink, my behavior is near normal, and always controllable. Not a bad thing to shoot for, over your vacation. Who knows? He may enjoy a 'honeymoon period,' as many of us did, and cut waaayyy down for a week or two.

While you can't force abstinence (he will just cheat), you can request as a compromise that he not take the Naltrexone until mid/late afternoon, and then wait an hour to drink. That way, you and the kids can enjoy some sober good times together, as a 'glimpse of things to come.' Plus, it should help to cut down his overall consumption.

Good luck, and do keep us posted!

PS: Get him started on the naltrexone asap - you don't want him to have to deal with early side effects while on vacation!

Thanks, W2E. You're right of course. Hopeful's hubby would almost surely have succumbed on vacation, and if she hadn't intro'd him to TSM early on, he might have gone and succumbed without the benefit of naltrexone.

He's going to drink. He's addicted to alcohol. Please read this letter from Dr. Eskapa, which addresses so many of your questions. A few days without drinking, then being thrown into an alcohol extravaganza in Maui, is like someone finding an oasis in the dessert after days and then being forbidden to drink the water. He may very well drink far more after a period of AF days. It's Alcohol Deprivation Effect. Again, please read:

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=36

All the best

So--if I get the naltrexone for him before the trip, but still don't want him to completely overdo it for the kids' sake, will he just be defeating the method and himself by trying to control his drinking on the drug? Does it only work if you drink as much as you want each time? He can, at times and for a short period, not go completely bonkers on alcohol.

He also seems to get drunk waaaaaaaaay faster than many alcoholics. The units some of you post as pre-TSM are considerably more than he has ever had. And his behavior is not obnoxious, loud, mean or aggressive--he becomes quiet, has difficulty carrying on a conversatiion, and essentially sits in the corner with a happy smile on his face--but totally checked out. So I wonder if he would experience any changes before the method actually started to ratchet down his level of drinking.

I'm game to try anything at this point--and thankful for your suggestions.

Hopeful wishing you the best. Just curious, how did you hear about the book?
Thanks Kris C.

Just poking around on the internet--desperate for some help. I think I googled "cure for alcoholism". Not sure why I used those terms, since I did not believe there was a chance in hell of anything even close to a "cure". I'm still skeptical, but gaining faith as I read these posts.

Hopeful all of these posts are correct but if you are confused please re-read Lena's post as it says it all along with the link she posted. When we alcoholics go days without drinking and then get the urge look out!!!!! Most of us will drink even more then and not be able to control it. It really sounds like he would be a great subject for tsm. Nothing to loose!

Hi again Hopeful...

I was thinking about this last night. First of all, please don't think TSM is going to save your trip. I think you better be prepared for him to get drunk and that's that. Maybe it will be the last vacation that will happen on...but odds are, unless he goes to a doctor right away and is lucky enough to get a prescription, you won't get Nal before the vacation. Ordering online can take awhile...if he does get it before you go, he may have side effects like nausea that will hamper the trip or make him not want to take the medication. Some people don't have side effects, but you never know. THEN, the only way the Nal will help the trip is if he experiences a 'honeymoon' where his units are immediately reduced for the first week or so...you see what I'm getting at? Don't pin all your hopes for having a good trip on TSM. Take the trip out of the equation, but get him started...and if he is a quiet drunk, it may not be too bad (that's exactly how my dad was though, so I know it's a big pain...your description brought back memories ).

Also, you mentioned he doesn't drink as much as a lot of people here. Most of us count the number of units we drink not the number of drinks...for example, before Sinclair I drank 3/4+ of a bottle of wine a night...this was 3 big glasses of wine. I counted the units as each glass being 1.5 unit, so 3 glasses = 4.5 units. A whole bottle is 6 units. It adds up fast when you count the actual units (in fact, that's how I really, really knew I had a problem because a unit of wine is suppose to be a 5 ounce glass and I took a marker out one night and marked where the 5 ounces would be in my glass...and tried to stick with that. I couldn't even do it for one glass and I washed the mark off. I can do it now, if I try ).

Best of luck to you - I'm glad you are trying to help him. He's a lucky guy to have you and more than welcome to come onboard here...

Hopeful,

Abstinence has not worked the first time and it will be a very hard way no matter how it works.

The risk of falling back into the old - and even more worse drinking behavior is huge.

I like the explanation that is given on the board about how the addiction can be explained to a non-addict person :
Its like going through the desert, you sweat and you have no water. First you withstand it easily, then it becomes more and more overhelming until you can not withstand and drink water.
In the sense of water is required - but it gives the same feeling to an abstinent drinker.

I have been with this forum for 7 weeks and my drinking behavior has drastically changed through the therapy with Naltrexon.
If I would have known about this treatment earlier I would have saved me a lot of pain and craving.

I can only recommend this therapy to anyone having problems with drinking. I used to drink a bottle of wine, and then kept on drinking whisky without any problems. Now after 3-4 units I already get sleepy and I hardly manage to drink 5 US units.

I managed before to drink up to 15-18 US units in one day. I can't do that anymore - it simply does not work.

Do not expect too fast steps though. The longer the alcohol addiction already exists the longer Nal will take to revert your husband to normal.
You will experience at the beginning quite big steps for some weeks, followed by some more bad days later on. but overall in 2-3 years your husband will be healed from his alcohol consume.

And you will never have this alcohol problem with him again.

That is my personal experience and opinion. This board helped me a lot, and everyone on this board is so helpful and brave on his own. I am sure your husband will be in good hands here!