I guess we're pretty similar there in that case, but my drinking cycle is more spread out than yours. I suspect all drinkers cycle in one fashion or another. I never tracked my numbers until I learned about TSM so I really don't have much of a clue about my patterns from the past and how it changed over the years (decades).

I do suspect the the longer you have been drinking the more entrenched your brain is.

it looks to me like your drinking is probably fairly steady on days that you are drinking, it's just your AF days are a bit randomly distributed - 0 one week, 3 the next, etc. mine are almost completely evenly distributed at 0/wk!

week 11 progress:

back on track this week after a bit of an increase the last two weeks. only had one night where I drank more than I wanted, which I didn't enjoy. I do seem to be getting Nal-overs now, after drinking relatively (for me) little the night before

my sleep is much improved - the Nytol seems to be doing the trick. life is rather more manageable when I'm going to bed & getting up at sensible times

I had a really nice weekend. usually I slog through the working week waiting for the weekend, then drink like crazy over the weekend, don't do anything fun or productive & get to sunday night dreading the coming week. this time I got out & did things, saw some friends & family, enjoyed the blue skies & sunshine, & generally ended the weekend feeling like I'd accomplished something. I'm definitely seeing the upside of drinking less!

AF days remain elusive, but I'm confident they'll come with more time. I was reading this on HAMS which struck a chord with me - "The Contradiction of Willpower":

http://www.hamsnetwork.org/contradiction/

on the one occasion that I have managed an AF day it wasn't though trying, I was busy with other things & it just didn't occur to me to have a drink, so I didn't. I have very little willpower around AL, so I'm going to try to focus on doing positive things instead & hopefully the AF days will follow



-badger

Hi Badger - your post is so uplifting ! And I cannot imagine having an AF day without meaning to ..... that is amazing ! I live in hope ! Good that you are moving down again too - I must admit that if I don't hear stuff like that then I wonder if the Nal is helping me at all - my intake went down that first week and has stayed steady since - and yesterday I had 6 drinks - did the same thing LAST Sunday - what is with that? the rest of the week I am having 3 or 4 now.

I have not yet discovered the joy of that extra time but as spring is coming I am thinking it will be the garden for me - although I do love going out there with a Guinness !! However for me, gardening weather is still two months away so hopefully things will be happening with the Nal by then.

Are you feeling really different about the AL these days? I know that usually now it is easy for me to not have that next drink - it sounds as if things are moving again for you. I think Nal must go in spurts for some of us - what do you think?

Have a great week

Hugs, Maggie xx

Great job badger! The past week was a significant improvement and you must be happy with that! I can relate about feeling better in the morning. Before NAL and my heavy consumption level I was feeling frequently tired in the morning but now I am gaining more energy back in the mornings which I am thankful for! Your progress is very encouraging!

week 12 update:

a real breakthrough this week - 4 AF days without any willpower whatsoever. had some decent weather at long last, so got out, did fun things & made the most of the AF's. drank rather more than I wanted on two of the other days - I think the rat has a little fight left in him still - but I was *averaging* that amount no so many weeks ago, so I'm putting those down to extinction bursts

I really feel like I'm at the tipping point now. my thinking about AL has changed dramatically over the last couple of weeks. the likelihood of living a life not foreshortened by an AL-induced early death is starting to look like a real possibility

it's probably worth noting that this is the first week since I started TSM that I have drunk little enough that I would have been able to be prescribed Nalmefene on the NHS. they will only prescribe to males drinking less than 56UK/32US units/week or about 2/3rd of that for females; anything above that is Abstinence-only



Nal On!

-badger

Badger - that is wonderful to read !!! I am so happy for you - you have been such a great motivator for me and always been there for me -I am really glad that you feel that things are finally happening for you !!!

I am SO happy for you - really good reading !!! I know that I keep saying it, but it is posts like this that keep me going !!!!

Hugs, Maggie xx

Good solid success for you badger, after 4 days AF how does the Nal affect you, I find that I'm starting to get very nauseous taking the Nalmefene after several days off the medication which is a real turn off for drinking only once or twice a week.

4 AF days in a row is truly significant and if they are effortless then that's the icing on the cake.

After the fourth day, what's your rationale for drinking, in my own case the gremlins are still in there somewhere and trying to take the final step to complete indifference has not happened.

AF days are now routine and as with yourself effortless but I maybe in the early days of setting a new routine. Drinking once or twice a week!

great news Badger,

I am also interested in the af days.. I find them so easy to do but when I have an excuse to drink I do it, and the excuse most often is that I have had a couple of af days!

I guess I am still waiting for the indifference so that drinking doesn't seem like the better option

Having yet to have AF days without using Antabuse, I have yet to see how I feel after AF days - the Nal does make me nauseated unless I make sure I have eaten so it is something I will be on the lookout for - it is so good though to hear all of your stories about AF days being easy!! Something I can hardly imagine - although IF I take an Antabuse, then I do find AF days fairly easy but can only do a couple at most! So I understand the logic Nigel.

Hugs, Maggie x