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I haven’t posted in months here, and this will be my last post, but I feel I have a responsibility to write it.
TSM was a colossal failure for me. I followed the protocol to the letter for the better part of a year, and had some initial reduction in my consumption, but eventually just started chasing the buzz again because I wasn’t getting pleasure out of booze or anything else. (I did completely lose my desire for coffee and now cannot drink a cup without being mostly repulsed.) I understand that some drinkers need up to 2 years to recover on NAL, but I did not have the stamina or discipline to continue the regimen that long after seeing so little success. I am drinking more now than I ever have, and my only conclusion is that I’ll have to quit entirely when I can muster the courage.
I have to conclude that NAL doesn’t work well for people like me who drink lightly all day rather than in concentrated heavy sessions. I’m not sure what happened to my opioid receptors, but I’ve found that lately I’d rather make excuses to hole up in the house and sip a drink than do any of the things I used to enjoy before TSM. I can sometimes force myself to go for a hike or do some other activity, but there’s little pleasure in it. As a result I’ve gained probably 15 pounds since starting TSM, although I can’t bring myself to step on the scale and find out for sure (and I’ve been a lifelong, high-level athlete, so this just compounds my depression).
I wish the best of luck to all of you out there struggling like me, but I just want to warn that NAL is a powerful drug that will change your brain, and possibly your experience of the world. Namaste.
_________________ Week/drinks: 1/74..... 9/59.5 ..... 17/55 2/59.5.....10/63 3/56.5.....11/59 4/69.5.....12/50 5/63......13/56.5 6/72.5.....14/65 (1 AF) 7/57.5.....15/55 8/53......16/55.5
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