Wow Triplab, I have to say that you seem to really have a handle on things. I appreciate you documenting your experiences with TSM and am relieved to find someone who mirrors my thinking on most matters having to do with TSM, AA, and self- improvement. I'm making an appointment with a naturopath today, but will have to get my addiction counseling on this forum. It seems as though the members on this forum who have done the best have done so by approaching it from a "wholistic" perspective; As in healing the whole person. Keep up the self improvement. We are all rooting for you, Keek

Good Work TL. The indifference will keep creeping in, and you'll be happy to discover that going back to the drinking of yore will become inconceivable. Even better, you'll know what you're doing is all good.

Keke that deserves a I'm sure you're right.

Now we're talking, well done triplab. Applause!

triplab I am so very happy you are having such excellent results in only 9 weeks. I only wish we can all get to where you are very soon too.

Triplab, that's fantastic. Just fantastic. You're a real inspiration on trusting the science, you know that?

Yay. I'm so happy for you.

well done you.. those numbers speak volumes

Thanks for the words of encouragement those who replied to my update last week. It really means a lot.

I held pretty steady in week 10 which completes tonight. I enjoyed a pint of really good ale earlier, and as I write this I feel like I could drink another. But it's late and I have a long day of family and stuffing my face for Thanksgiving tomorrow, so I think I will just go to bed after this update. Doesn't seem quite as strange these days to do this. I was thinking about an old AA saying today about the futility of enjoying and controlling one's drinking that goes something like ... when I control my drinking I am not enjoying it, and when I enjoy my drinking I am never in control. Tired old mantras, tired old methods. I still beat myself up a bit thinking all of this is just because I am taking Nal, which I do every day even if it ends up an AF day, and it is to a degree. But I do believe I am on a steady path toward indifference, and ultimately extinction, when I can face the day knowing that alcohol is not in control. Better yet, a day where I don't think about it one way or another. And once I get to that point, if drinking comes up, I take this pill for the rest of my life. So be it. I know folks who take a pill for lactose intolerance if they occasionally want cream in their coffee. They don't get up telling themselves they are going to have a dairy free day or just have one cup with nonfat milk. They don't give it a second thought. I want that.

As an aside, I gave up smoking weed all together about two weeks ago. I had cut down to a couple times a week before taking a run, or after the family went to bed. I don't know, I just feel like I want to take this thing as far as I can and really see what it feels like to rid myself of long time habits that if I am honest with myself, have really done nothing for me beyond the experience of doing them or getting me through brutal hangover days. So aside from alcohol moderation, I have without much thought or effort cut my coffee down from 6-8 cups a day to maybe one, and have given up the hippie hay. I have given up pot before, but I attribute giving up caffeine to Nal. I have no scientific evidence of this, but it has worked almost identical to my attitude toward alcohol, and I have been hooked on it for 20 years.

Peace.

Ditching the ditch weed! good for you! "Hippie Hay" haha never heard that one before........

You numbers look great triplab!!!!

Mid week 11 update ..

Fell off my high horse a bit on Thanksgiving and had a scare. I took my pill at 5:30 thinking I would have a glass of wine or two with dinner. I ended up having sparkling apple cider instead and felt pretty smug about it. After company left I decided to clean the kitchen instead of waiting until the next day as usual. There was half a bottle of red table wine left so I had a big glass. Then the family went to bed and I sat down to have my nightly Belgian Ale. It went down fast. I wanted another, I mean wanted. So I did, and it felt good, and I had a nice little glow. I got a little nervous because it seemed my defenses were down and I was obsessing about pouring more booze down. I grabbed another beer and started in on it .. and suddenly realized it was about 12:30 a.m. a full seven hours after I had taken my pill. I had a sinking sick feeling that I had really blown it so I did what I do when I absolutely need to stop drinking .. I smoked some weed. Ha, I just posted how I had stopped two weeks ago too.

Anyway, that did the trick and I stopped at five total drinks. I don't know for sure, but I suspect I had reached the limit of Nal's effectiveness that day and I was drinking without a net so to speak. The other notable thing is that I had the worst hangover yesterday, much worse than five drinks deserved. I went AF as well more by inertia of guilt and feeling sick.

I know five drinks is still half my old pattern, and I should probably be happy that I had good reinforcement, but it has sure turned back on the negative internal dialog. Feeling ok today and refilled my Nal perscription. I will definitely be more careful about the timing of drinking and if 4-5 hours go by, I may try a 25mg booster although I crowed against needing it. Live and learn.