Your progress is a great inspiration to everyone here Plantpro. I appreciate your opinion to not force AF days. I keep thinking I should try and make and effort to have some AF days. I have reached a point where I'm not really climbing the walls for a drink but feel that I'm going out and buying the wine out of pure habit. Once it's opened, I'm back in it's grasp and drinking too much.

My relationship with alcohol is definitely feeling better. I don't feel full of dread at the prospect of not having a drink anymore. I'm interested to know how you started getting the AF days under your belt. Did you make a conscious decision to do it the first few times and do you consciously decide now that you are having an AF day or does it just happen because the thought of drinking doesn't cross your mind?

Hi Snapdragon and ty for the compliment. So happy for you that you are noticing the early effects of the extinction process. After several months I realized too I was drinking out of habit. I continued on the protocol until the 20th week when I just knew it was time to test myself. What would it be like to leave my comfortable habit that I knew so well, could I do it? I tried switching to alcohol free beer and for the first time in a decade or more I had 3 af days. I was able to implement a day or 2 af free days per week into the following months with little effort. I'm at a point now where I prefer not to drink at home and don't. It became evident that for me to reach my goals, the drinking on work nights had to stop. It was effortless. The extinction process continues to work and I'm allowed to make the choices rather then alcohol making it for me. Alcohol crippled me and I prefer a much different life with my new freedom. I know I can't have both so the alcohol lost and behaviors that benefit my life won. I still have problems like you, that once I start and am having fun, I drink too much. I will continue to allow the nal to do its job and I'm sure it will clean this up at a later date. You are doing great. Peace............. Wks:
1-52.5.......... 11-42.75.............21-21.75, 2 af................31-17, 4 af
2-52.5.......... 12-36.75.............22-23, 1 af....................32-15, 4 af
3-53.5.......... 13-27.................23-25
4-51............ 14-28.75..............24-19.5, 1 af
5-50.5..........15-27.5................25-9
6-56.5..........16-27.5................26-14.75
7-51.............17-30..................27-19.5, 2 af
8-46.............18-34.5...............28-17, 3 af
9-46.............19-28.5...............29-17.5, 3 af
10-42...........20-14.5, 3 af.........30-17, 4 af

looking good plantpro

what interests me more than the AF days, is how the units just slowly went down before you did the AF. I guess following you through this thread, that wasn't something you actively thought about either. Habit for me too here, if I take the pill, means I can drink, I don't really do that by halves.. however recently I might be (will update my weekly thread on this..no spoilers yet!!!)

So true plantpr0, thank you!

Week 33, 18 units, 4 af. I had a fun week with 2 episodes of 7 beers each and 4 at a wedding. I was out dancing and socializing and had planned on stopping at 5 beers both nights. But new friends ended up buying me drinks and I continued to party with them. I get caught up in the excitement, the fun and get too distracted to say no. I'm probably abusing TSM but I love drinking in these setting. It's my only time to get out and socialize. Something I'm happy with and for now... acceptable. There's no longer the stupid behavior where I go introvert and implode from the alcohol. I'm able to carry on conversations, am developing friendships and engaging in what I consider a more meaningful life then pre TSM. Believe it or not, I'm even having woman hit on me which is kind of cool. The 4 af days are the norm now and are effortless. They give me a chance to rest and rebuild my life with positive activities. So ......completing another week and looking back. It would of been better to stop at 5 beers both nights, but I didn't. I choose to experience some pretty cool people and that's an important part of my life. In reality for me at least. What I want to do and what actually happens are always different. It's nice when it turns out better then expected. Everyone should know I continue to drink like I want to with no self imposed boundaries. I'm not recommending this to anyone, but this is my path and I like it. Hope everyone is doing well, Happy Thanksgiving. We all have a lot to be thankful for. Keep the course. Peace............. Wks:
1-52.5.......... 11-42.75.............21-21.75, 2 af................31-17, 4 af
2-52.5.......... 12-36.75.............22-23, 1 af....................32-15, 4 af
3-53.5.......... 13-27.................23-25...........................33-18, 4 af
4-51............ 14-28.75..............24-19.5, 1 af
5-50.5..........15-27.5................25-9
6-56.5..........16-27.5................26-14.75
7-51.............17-30..................27-19.5, 2 af
8-46.............18-34.5...............28-17, 3 af
9-46.............19-28.5...............29-17.5, 3 af
10-42...........20-14.5, 3 af.........30-17, 4 af

Hi plantprO

Can I ask a question please

Can you try and articulate your feelings on non drinking days verses pre TSM.

Can you remember how you once felt vs how a af free day now feels.

This is the one thing that keeps me going with TSM, THAT ONE DAY I WILL NOT KEEP THINKING ABOUT ALCOHOL!!! all the time.

How can those thoughts just disappear.

I'm not plantpro, but I would like to share an encouraging anecdote. Yesterday my husband opened the fridge, checked the pantry, checked a storage closet, and made the following announcement: "There is a severe shortage of ethanol in this house!"

I acquire the food, you see, and for several weeks (!) I hadn't even noticed that there was no alcohol in the house. Odd thought, isn't it? How can I not even be aware of how much alcohol we have, and remain blissfully unaware of our no-alcohol state for what must have been a couple of weeks at least?

Yep. Not much on my mind compared to this time last year.

That's part of the cure. The mental obsession just disappears.

Hi thistime, I'll try. At the start of TSM, my drinking career was the highlight of my life. It consumed or was intertwined with everything I did. From the morning I woke it was there in the form of a hang over. It followed me around as the day progressed in the form of a dullness or lethargy. Then it came in the form of urges, thoughts and desires to drink. All in the hopes I would erase my previous misery and give me some temporary feeling of joy. I was able to enjoy the good feeling for a few hours but it never lasted no matter how I chased it. Eventually I would do stupid stuff or just pass out from pounding the beers. So the pattern would start again and years were wasted. Everything I did was setup to support this roller coaster ride and I did it for decades. Now in retrospect, I realize I was just living for those few hours were I was tricked by my reward system into thinking it was good but was paying for it in the following 22 or so hours that followed. Alcohol had taken such an executive position that I had no desire to capture my personal potential and was making bad decisions. I was a puppet and gave up full control to my relationship with alcohol. My business, personal relationships, all effected to a certain degree whether I want to admit it or not. When I started TSM and learned to travel it's path. The addiction part weakened and I gained more control as a automatic consequence. I became able to see and act in a totally different manner that probably represents my old self. A self that I've completely forgotten about but am excited to relearn about. I'm now able to see alcohol in a totally new way which makes af days desirable and effortless. There's no debating in my head, do I want to drink or not. I learned and KNOW alcohol doesn't have any good attributes with no counter arguments from my former addiction. I now experience an indifferent towards it and am free from its clutches. Something I never imagined possible 7 months ago. That those thoughts, cravings would just vanish and haunt me no more. Now I sleep better, wake up clear headed and I'm able to participate in endevors I think benefit my life. How could it be better then that and I'm not even done yet?

Beautiful Plantpro, I am so pleased for you.

I think it's really difficult to explain to someone who hasn't done TSM and is still in that I want to drink, I enjoy drinking (sex, life and food) and don't want to give that up.

You are truly free and can also look at alcohol with an critical eye!

Thank you Melissa and plantprO

For taking time to keep my fires burning, awaiting the day I will join you on the other side of this nightmare. The idea that alcohol doesn't take up a large part of my daily life is alien to me right now. I read plantprOs post this morning with a nalover so it was spot on to read about living for a few hours of pleasure each day and paying the price both in terms of short term hangovers etc and long term damage to career, relationships etc.

It's so much common sense to know that we are poisoning our bodies that it should be a no brainier to just be able to walk away with willpower alone. Now to understand that I need to rewire the brain is a beacon of light and hope.