Cheeto's Progress

Cheeto · **Joined:** Thu Oct 16, 2014 12:40 pm **Posts:** 510

Hi melissa, I could force an AF day before TSM here and there but the hard part was to stay AF for more than a week or so at a time. So this will be the test!!!!

thistime2014 · **Joined:** Tue Oct 07, 2014 3:31 am **Posts:** 128

Well done cheeto

It will be interesting to see how you go, enjoy Mexico. Make sure you keep the golden rule should you decide to drink though.

all41 · **Posted:** Wed Nov 19, 2014 8:52 am

Keep us posted on the exercise! are you doing it on Nal or after washout days?

And by the way, if you have room in your suitcase on the way to Mexico feel free to stop by and stuff me in. You can kick me out under the nearest palm tree with my stash of Nal and my Visa card and just pick me up 3 months later.....

Cheeto · **Joined:** Thu Oct 16, 2014 12:40 pm **Posts:** 510

thistime2014 wrote:

Make sure you keep the golden rule should you decide to drink though.

No problem on that thistime as I am committed to TSM and have Nal at home, in my purse and have a key chain that holds a pill coming in the mail to carry around with me in Mexico. I also think that sometimes it may be hard to wait the hour after taking Nal but it gives a person some time to think about the craving, etc???
I will NEVER go without Nal+Drinking!!!!!

all41 I exercise everyday on Nal or on AF days cause that is what I was doing pre TSM anyway. I figure if I exercise at 3PM everyday and then take my Nal at 4PM I have given it the longest time to diminish in my system. I know you are not suppose to exercise on Nal+drinking days but I need to get into shape and only have an AF day every 2 weeks or so.
Haha not sure if I have room as sometimes when I go for 3 months I tend to take the kitchen sink, lol!

I will have my laptop with me so will be checking in every few days if not daily here.

Cheeto · **Joined:** Thu Oct 16, 2014 12:40 pm **Posts:** 510

Cheeto wrote:

I could force an AF day before TSM here and there but the hard part was to stay AF for more than a week or so at a time. So this will be the test!!!!

I caved tonight from my planned 3rd AF day but I was good and took my Nal just over an hour ago so I could have some wine.
The cravings are definitely still there as I told myself that since I was so busy today helping my sister, that it is cold out and putting the fireplace on with a glass of wine or two/three/four would be a great reward so I caved.
Haha you would think I was an alcoholic with that kind of thinking....Oh wait I am, lol!!!!

Funny too that ever since starting TSM I have been tracking my drinking and I measure my drinks. I just got out the measuring cup and measured 6 oz of red wine which is about 1 drink (1.2 drinks) by
http://rethinkingdrinking.niaaa.nih.gov ... ulator.asp
That is also the measurement that restaurants go by for a glass of wine here in Canada. Most restaurants the normal size is 6 oz but they also give you the choice of a 9 oz glass for just a few more dollars.

thistime2014 · **Joined:** Tue Oct 07, 2014 3:31 am **Posts:** 128

Hi cheeto

I'm defiantly still craving too, I posted this on my progress in response to an observation made by all41 about extinction.

"I arrived last night in Ireland and drove for about an hour to the Wicklow mountains to a very charming cottage we own. This place holds such fantastic memories of all types' most with alcohol somewhere in the mix. By the time I arrived the rain was lashing down outside, I lit the log burner and my craving to open that first beer was 10 out of 10 a craving as high as it ever was pre TSM. I'm just banking that a lot of pathways are going get weak over the next few days."

plantpr0 · **Joined:** Mon Mar 31, 2014 11:06 am **Posts:** 353

Well done Cheeto. Don't fight your cravings, bring them to the nal. Sounds like you have this down and will have a great vacation. I bet if you look, you'll find better things to do then getting wasted in Mexico. Life is beautiful if you're clear eyed and can see. Have fun.

nigelr · **Joined:** Sun Oct 12, 2014 3:48 am **Posts:** 163

I am craving lots too Cheeto, and still making myself promises I cant keep...(tonight Ill have an AF or drink less). IF we trust the science then its out of our hands and we just need to follow the rules

Cheeto · **Joined:** Thu Oct 16, 2014 12:40 pm **Posts:** 510

I was aiming for an AF day today but that didn't happen. Well at least I waited until after dinner to start having my drinks which kind of changed up my habit of drinking at 5PM before dinner. I also changed from wine to vodka to see if it will make a difference in my hangovers cause I seem to have one every other day. I have been drinking into the evening until I can't stay awake any longer which is like 9-9:30PM. I go to bed and have a very interrupted sleep from alcohol and my hot flashes which I had pre TSM but now I stay in bed until about 10AM to kinda try and get more sleep but sleep off as much of the hangover feelings as I can.

I just read all 22 pages of a thread that Heavy Fuel posted here a few years ago. I would highly recommend you all to take some time and read his postings. They are very inspirational and he documents the ups and downs of the roller coaster of TSM. He stayed the course as he stated to keep positive and stay with it for as long as it takes if you REALLY want freedom from alcohol.
viewtopic.php?f=9&t=2525

Just a few quotes from Heavy Fuel that were important to me:
"If I had to tell anyone just starting any one thing, it would be to plan on a year to regain control/cured. That's probably a couple of months longer than most, but it stops the insecurity and impatience. I look at how naive I was about the time frame, but I am almost there. The only thing is, I am riding the roller coaster too! Down this week, up next. I am seriously down this week, but may be up next. It's learning to be indifferent to that up and down that is hard."

"I think there is some kind of wall around the 4-6 month mark folks hit. Just going through threads, it seems many posters are riding the roller coaster, frustrated and tired during this time. I think this is the period that tells whether TSM is going to work: if one makes it through,they seem to reach the finish. If they are discouraged and quit, of course they don't finish."

all41 · **Posted:** Tue Nov 25, 2014 9:33 am

I agree Cheeto about reading Heavy Fuel's posts (others too).

This is one of the reasons I'm taking the DIY route. As if confronting our problems isn't problem enough......I'm simply not up to fighting with our jackass medical system. I'd had a recent liver panel, so after reading up on it, I was comfortable with a simple order from alldaychemist.

Heavy fuel wrote:

Quote:

I haven’t posted much on my progress. I had a setback I am working through. Nothing to do with my drinking, but everything to do with entrenched lack of thought on how to treat addictions.

As I mentioned previously, I had seen a doctor here and gotten a prescription for naltrexone. I took the Combine study with me and explained I wished to follow that protocol. The doctor took the study and prescribed me 30 days of naltrexone. He then went on about some substance abuse counselor, which should have been a warning to me.

On my return, being a good TSM’er I had my drinking diary and notes. I showed this to the physician and he started railing on and on with the following:

“This is not the standard of care. You are using this as excuse to drink. Numbers are up.” The learned doctor also stated the Combine study was “just someone writing things: it means nothing.” He then said, “I asked others, they haven’t ever heard of this.” He then said the magic words that told me where he was: “we do sobriety here.” He then wanted to prescribe me three different drugs I am not interested in trying at this time. Or injecting me with vivitrol. Oh, yeah, he had an epiphany and called me an alcoholic. Which obviously was supposed to be a newsflash to me…. Anyway, then he claimed I drink because I am emotionally immature. He then said he wasn’t comfortable treating me with this protocol. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with his methods, either.

So, I argued right back. He had the nurse leave the room and we went at each other pretty hard. I didn’t back off. And he gave me my 30 day supply. I explained to him, that number one, from my research I was quite happy with the results gained by those in the Combined study. The results from the combine study showed approximately 16% of study participants adopted abstinence as their means of treatment and asked him that if he described abstinence as the only desirable outcome, what was his success rate with those drugs. He didn’t answer. I also pointed out, naltrexone has nowhere near the side effects as his chemical concoction.

Anyway, I explained to him something he didn’t ask me when we first began this process: I have close relatives who died from cirrhosis and others who had the disease when they died of other causes. I further explained why this happened. He then told me naltexone only works on one type of receptor and I am going to build another receptor. No research I have read shows that. And he couldn't show me one.

Anyway, when he pulled out the “sobriety” card, he and I had an intellectual parting of the ways. That was further exacerbated by his statement the Combine study was “just someone writing things,” meaning being published in the Journal of the American Medical Association has no value. He did not present a single rational argument against TSM. Nor did he offer statistics with harm reduction and abstinence outcomes at a higher rate than TSM. We ended the conversation with him saying I need counseling for my “emotional immaturity” that comes with “alcoholism.” I pointed out I have a corrupted rewards system and will work on that: nothing else is negotiable. I have enough problems without some 12 stepping lunatic attempting to manipulate me.

The net effect of this is I am on the hunt for another doctor. This time, for my own convenience I am going to simply say the naltrexone works wonders and not mention drinking. I just won’t mention the particulars of TSM. I am simply shocked to learn just how entrenched the rantings of Bill W are, even a published study in JAMA cannot override him. Science be damned, a bunch of religious nuts in “the Rooms” know more than anyone else. And it isn’t enough to quit drinking without being “sober,” in their definition of the word. It isn’t enough for some that we regain control of our lives, we have to subscribe to their belief system. Then, and only then, does it seem the Friends of Bill are happy.

It’s just sad.

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