Don't feel too bad. A lot of my planned AF days rarely happened as I planned. I seem to be successful twice per week right now, mostly planned, but sometimes unplanned (I just don't feel like drinking).

I am so happy for you, Bob. Right now I have no wine in the house, and I'm not going out to purchase any. Instead, I'm going to get all gussied up. . .cook a great meal. . .and greet Jake with some extra 'attention' tonight, after he comes home from work/golf.

Both food and sex have become less appealing since starting TSM. I'm determined to use both today as a substitute for wine. In my gut, I just know it's going to be a great AF day. Yay!

I suspect that double AF days are probably most effective in reviving positive behaviors. I seem to be going into a period of single AF days, but even though the Naltrexone should be quite low after 24 hours, reinforcing these positive behaviors have not been that successful. Sex is currently nonexistent and my food appetite is very low.

My energy level is increasing day-by-day due to my continued reduction of Valium dosage. In fact, humorously, I got so engrossed in troubleshooting an electrical problem today, that someone watching me work sarcastically commented to another person with him that I must have had too much Red Bull at lunch. That hit me, that I was acting manic again and had to slow down. BTW, I don't do caffeine, ever; it's bad for manics. \Also, I had 3¾ hours of sleep last night, and woke up fully awake and ready to go. Benzo withdrawal is a tough balancing act; apparently I have drifted too far in my reduction.

I have a personal face-to-face appointment with my psychiatrist this Monday. It'll be nice to see him in person and not just on the phone for 2 minutes!

Bob

Bob, keep a good eye on yourself manic or not taper on benzo's have all sorts of symptoms. Be careful, my thoughts are with you. Thanks again for posting this as some of us will be tapering soon and this is useful info. for everyone, manic or not. The sleep problem is typical of all and anxiety rather than mania for most of us too, similar too. I remember once asking a shrink if I could be manic and he said you should be so lucky, you could never be that high! It was sort of a tongue in cheek thing and the time and a bit of a joke, don't think I was able to get it right here, oh well.....

Thanks LaBear. I do forget on occasion that there are other symptoms of Benzo withdrawal. I had the "voices thing" going on in my head over the last two days, along with multiple songs playing in my head simultaneously. It sounds like an orchestra tuning up before a performance along with the audience all talking with each other at the same time.

Well, tonight was another "glimpse-of-things-to-come" day. I drove home early with no plan whether to have an AF day or not. I did not stop for beer and there was none in the house. After about 2 hours at home, I felt like I should do the TSM regimen and went out and bought a 6 pack, took my Nal, waited about 1½ hours and started sipping. It didn't taste that good. It took an hour to drink the first beer before I got the second one and then it took over an hour to consume that one. Then I dozed an hour and awoke with no desire to have any more. By 8PM that had changed and I nursed a 3rd one, and then quit for the evening. So, I finally had a night of controlled drinking and quit before bedtime.

I'm sure tomorrow will be different, but one day, every day will be either be controlled drinking or an AF day!

Bob

Bob. I admire that fact you are completly informed and are doing things the right way as far as I can tell. When I got off benzos after 6 years of taking them it was cold turkey and I almost died. I did not have the ability physically or mentally at the time to do it any other way. There were also anti-depressants involved that completely messed me up. Nonetheless. I am still grateful to be without them and have been since 1997. I have one perscription of lorazepam that my doc gives me only to be taken if necessary. I have not used them at all. I am really glad to hear about your night with the beer. That is just a tiny taste of the many nights ahead of drinking after taking Nal and then not really being interested. That is exactly what is going on for me tonight. I actually cleaned the garage!!! This while having wine after taking Nal one hour before. Now I am close to going to bed. I think you are an inspiration to others dealing with similar circumstances and deserve praise. Way to go!! Best wishes to you!.

Bob, wow voices and music, at least you are not bored!!!! God bless. Not sure I would be able to handle that one. Great you are hanging tough. Please continue to post for us. Again, be careful, I don't believe doctors really know how to handle a taper we have to be our own keepers at times.

Thanks potato and LaBear for the warnings. Although I think I am aware of the risks, it's always good to be careful and read other's warnings and experiences. This weekend is the bottoming out from my last Valium dosage reduction and I see the psychiatrist face-to-face tomorrow morning.

Well, oddly enough Saturday's alcohol was just as low as Friday's (3 units per day). Both days, I really didn't want to drink and considering that consciously that I know that Sunday will be an AF day as well as Monday (which is my wedding anniversary and my wife is a lifelong non-drinker), it seems counter-intuitive. You'd think I'd want more alcohol, knowing I wasn't going to have anything for two days. However, that's not how cravings and desires work. There is no logic behind them at all.

I had an awful night's sleep - waking up again and again, sweating, realistic disturbing color dreams and I got up too early. It's kind of gloomy outside too, but the sun always comes out around here eventually. Then I'll be mowing grass for 2 hours.

Bob

Less drinking, great! That's what this is all about, right? My sleeping is TOTALLY messed up on naltrexone and I plan to rant about it in a minute on my own progress report. Just wanted you to know HOW I IMMEDIATELY thought of you today Bob when I opened up the paper and under birthdays, one Mr. Ken Osmond turned 66! Happy Birthday Eddie! And Happy Anniversary too!

This is quite right , no logic , you don't want more even when you think of the Af's coming . Enjoy the lack of panic and anxiety that the Nal is so clearly giving to drinking in your life , it'll leave you free . It looks like with the other challenges you 're taking on this should be very empowering .