Hi Barry, Quite often, I think of you and your resolve to go Alcohol Free. I know you've been through some ups and downs with the starting and stopping of to the Naltrexone and that learned from your experience. I'm wishing you continued success. Keep up the good work and thank you for posting your sober insights . Plugging away, Keek

Day 255...Quick update. Everything's been going fine...nothing earth-shattering. Just got back from the liquor store to pick up some rum for my wife's rum cake. It was sort of weird. The lady behind the counter said, "Hey...how have you been?" She said, "I know you've been drinking less." I said, "Yeah, I don't drink anymore." She put her hand on mine and said something like, "I'm so proud of you. It's so sad to see people come in here day after day like you used to. It's great to see someone escape that." I was like, "Uh...thanks." It was kind of sweet of her, I guess.

Yeah, I go into a nearby store, one where they refused to sell me any more alcohol because they'd noticed how many times I'd been in that same day. I now buy grocery type stuff there and still feel strange about it. I was thinking earlier today that perhaps I'll ask the owner whether she remembers how I was back then, guess I'm afraid of the reaction - is there any other bad stuff in there?

Barry I'm new to this site and TSM and just read your journal for the first time.

I learned a lot, thanks for writing it.

AF Day 333. Sounds lucky, at least. Everything is going great. This really has been a banner year for me. Someone at work told me last week, "You're the happiest person I've ever met." I said, "I know. It's ridiculous." I don't think I'm going to make a big deal to anyone about the 1 year thing. I hope to have a nice post here about things I've learned and experienced this year, but I don't think I'm going to even bring it up with my wife. The year thing is just arbitrary and was a good way to focus myself more long term. I definitely recommend having finite AF goals -- e.g. one week, one month, etc...versus "I'll never drink again." Rationalrecovery even recommends saying, "I'll have a drink in 100 years," since the "Beast" has no sense of time and can't tolerate absolute abstinence.

Ah, Barry. I'm glad your life is going awesomely.

Exciting time approaching!

[quote="barryb4"]Someone at work told me last week, "You're the happiest person I've ever met." I said, "I know. It's ridiculous." quote]

Wow what a great compliment and so happy TSM has given you your life back. I am very thankful for your posts. I hope I will be following in your footsteps of TSM very soon!
Nal On (or for you AF on!)

Your wife might not be paying attention, but we sure are

Way to go Barry!!!! You are an inspiration to many (including that lady in the liquor store, what a tough job that must be).

Well, it's day 365 alcohol free! As I've mentioned before, when in the grasp of addiction, I used to fantasize about doing a "year without alcohol." Pure fantasy at the time, but not a bad idea -- a chance to go through all the normal experiences and rhythms of a year fully sober-minded. So, I did the holidays, summer parties, supper parties, stressful times, happy times, birthdays, sex, etc... all without alcohol. It's kind of anti-climactic at this point, but I'm still glad I did it (and, BTW, will continue into the foreseeable future). I told my wife last night, "I finished my year and am going to keep going," and in pure solipstic fashion, she didn't express any positives about it because, after all, she doesn't like to "drink alone" (her 1-3 beers a week). Again...whatever.

Briefly, here are my conclusions...
(1) I can't express enough how much time changes the way you think and feel. I don't think there is any feeling or benefit alcohol gave me (e.g. euphoria, "high" feeling, happiness, talkativeness) that I haven't learned to get without alcohol. Now, honestly, when I think about drinking, it's usually in a negative way, as in, "It will ruin my erection," or "it will make me too quiet," or "then I can't read before bed."

(2) Wow, have I been more productive. Ridiculously more. It's funny how drinking would pretty much waste 5-6 hours of every day. Now, I never, ever have enough time in the day to do all I have and want to do. Projects, reading, working out, talking, etc... I don't think I was bored a single second this past year.

(3) Sex (ever so important to me) has been much improved.

(4) Slept great, woke up feeling great every day. Thought every morning, "I feel great. Not hungover."

(5) My moods have dramatically improved. I used to have regular angry, emotional outbursts. I don't think I had more than 1-2 all year, and these were very short-lived. Not a single instance of brooding, etc... All of my kids individually commented on how much I have improved in terms of being fun and calm. (The wife, not one comment).

(6) As I've mentioned before, I'm just absurdly happy. Kind of in a stupid sense, but I'll enjoy it while I can.

(7) Getting rid of alcohol freed me up to explore different ideas, philosophies, etc... in life. I did studies of both Zen buddhism (practicing zazen regularly) and Stoicism (I probably read over 30 books this year, versus 1 in the 15 years before I discovered TSM). I especially have been fond of Stoicism and would probably call myself a "stoic," but not a buddhist. I highly recommend Marcus Aurelius' Meditations. It's similar to buddhism (and parts of Catholic spirituality), and seems very natural to me. I will continue to explore these and other ideas as I try to live out my own agnosticism.

Anyway, thanks all for your support and I look forward to continuing the journey.