Good morning, one month down.

My units this week are still high, I did have 2 af days but managed to drink more on the others to make up for it. I have been thinking a lot about drinking and TSM, about placebo, about how much we need to do consciously.

There is no doubt that I don't get the rush from drinking that I used to, I can imagine that I don't like the strong taste of red wine.. but not sure. My biggest observation is that my habit to sit and drink all evening is very much there, a bit like smoking or fiddling with your phone its just something to do.

I have tried this week to move away from setting out a certain amount of alcohol in the beginning of the evening (1 beer and 2/3 bottle of wine) to allowing myself what I want, I was worried I was finishing what I had laid out because it was there and allowing myself whatever might lead to having less; I don't think it worked as I end up thinking I have had my Nal so Ill drink.. one glass if wine wouldn't be worth putting that chemical in me for! and so at the moment the big question as many have is do I do more to actively control my intake.

I have three af days in a row now as I am out each night and have to drive, after that I have 2 heavy drinking situations so we shall see how they go.

I feel pass questioning if TSM works, I am more at the moment thinking about how (as in how much is placebo) and that I need to get my head around the fact that many people go totally AF or near as. In fact this doesn't worry me, my nature is always feast or famine and I cope better with black and white situations.

Hi there Nigeir

I relate to the habit or breaking the habit. It my biggest challenge. I have stopped questioning wether TSM works verses placebo effect.

I don't have anywhere else to go so I'm either going to move forward with this protocol or go back to pre TSM days.

Even at this early point I'm in a better place than I was. So onwards it is then.

Question, I know that you've always managed to get af days in but is it any easier now than before you started TSM?

you are so right.. I too have no where else to go; that really sounds more dramatic than I want it too, but I have tried so many things that fail.

The AF days are easier however I am not sure that's because I am in the middle of thinking all the time about my drinking. The AF days this week are all in a row starting tonight that normally would be a challenge so I will know more on Thursday

Stay positive guys!! You're only a month in (although I know if feels like it goes on forever. I'm in my second week and feel frustrated waiting for a miracle!)

Did you read PlantPros weekly progress? He struggled for months and months and his drinking didn't appear to diminish and then suddenly a lightbulb moment and his drinking has dropped dramatically. I took Melissa's mantra - I will give it six months no what. No questioning, no faltering I will do the system 1 pill + 1 hour then drink as I want to. If after six months nothing has changed then I will think again.

I have noticed a huge reduction in my drinking and desire to drink (although it has increased slightly on my first week). I had decided not to drink at all yesterday, but started to really crave around 7pm, so took a pill. I poured myself a large red wine (I don't usually drink red - but it was all I had in the house) and sipped it slowly over an hour. I really didn't feel like any more after that. It almost seems like a waste of a pill to only have one drink - but hey - that was what I was hoping for (just think that glass of wine cost me as much as a whole bottle of wine as each pill costs £4! )

The previous night (Saturday) I drank a bottle and a half of white wine (we were out with friends) but realised after the first bottle, that I wasn't getting what I wanted out of it. I felt drunk, but the buzz just isn't there anymore. I stopped drinking, whilst the others carried on and I felt that I was experiencing what other 'normal' people feel like when they've just had enough.

I have always been a white wine drinker - I like the occasional glass of red wine, but rarely drink spirits. I'm thinking that as I enjoyed that one glass of red wine and it lasted a long time (it feels heavier and more substantial than white wine), I might switch to drinking that for a few days and see if it encourages me to drink less.

Chin up! This is our last chance - lets stick with it and prove to the world that it works.

Good encouragement SD, it's good to be pulled along sometimes. I was just sitting here thinking about forcing af days and I just don't know wether it's part of the protocol. You mention plantprOs weekly progress and I have read it many times (it's inspirational). However he never forced a af day until much later in the process so I'm confused as to is it a good thing todo or am I just trying to take a short cut.

yes thanks snapdragon, its good to have a 'sort it out' post, we are only one month in, its taken ages to get here so will take ages to get better

As far as AF days go thistime, I read it that you shouldn't force them, one thing I would say is that if you do decide to have one, making sure you are going out is a good way..(not going out drinking mind!) I went to see a film, I also have AF days when I go singing (we have a community rock choir)

1 month of perfect execution, well done Nigeir! I think you are doing fantastic. I love your up to date journaling, especially your concerns as to the legitimacy of TSM. It's necessary that current and future participants realize these thoughts are quite normal. The conscious mind that is supplying these doubts and worries has nothing to do with your recovery. Your becoming aware that you're drinking out of habit, which is good. You may now even think you have the ability to control it, and maybe you can. But from a TSM purist this is just a natural phase and shows you how well, even at an early state of 1 month, the nal is working. Extinction works at a much deeper level that the conscious mind isn't privy to. While your conscious mind is focused on af days, drinking too much, forcing control. The nal is light years ahead reorganizing your brain to bring you back to wholeness. Keep journaling and this will become obvious.

Nigelr it seems to me that you're clearly on the right track, working the physiological (naltrexone) and psychological (like singing on AF days) sides of the equation at the same time. Keep up the good work and give it time. I think the fast responders are rare, and for most it's a 3-4 month minimum.

well week 5 ... 56 units and 3 af. I am hung over and grumpy at the moment.

Have reread Plantpro's thread for a boost to read someone who is definitely always glass half full!!!

Had 3 af days which I had to go AF as I was driving, these were stupidly easy. In fact if I want to make comparisons one was to a party, last year me and a friend wanted to go to this party so much and drink that we persuaded our wives to drive us, this year I just drove. So as a positive my craving for alcohol is low.

The negative is that when I do drink I sure do drink, I am drinking over twice the recommended units in 4 days; and I am not getting the 'can't be bothered to finish' feeling I had in honeymoon phase. in fact yesterday I needed to take a booster which I haven't had to do up till now.. (we had friend around for lunch and then I drank into the evening)

I know this is normal, I know the Nal is doing its magic, I know that I need to drink for it to work, I know I cant really speed it up, I do have faith and I know this will work, I am just wanting it to happen so much that I over think everything.

I haven't got any days where I need to go AF this week, I haven't actually got a plan, I thought I might buy some ginger beer (non alcoholic) to see if sipping something else will help my habit.

Hi Nigel - it sounds like you're doing OK and it's good the cravings are lower. I've noticed this - I don't crave a drink anywhere near as much as I used to and yet I'm still 'choosing' to have a drink. It's almost as though the habit is stronger than the craving.

You are doing well having some AF days - that seems to be what I'm struggling with. Each time I think 'today I'll be AF, by evening I'm fancying a glass of wine'. Once I might have forced myself to try and be AF, but I suppose that goes against the whole TSM theory so I'm just going with the flow at the moment. I am definitely drinking much, much less than before so that's positive.