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 Post subject: GC1979's weekly progress
PostPosted: Wed Sep 03, 2014 11:06 am 
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Joined: Thu May 02, 2013 8:59 pm
Posts: 22
Hi everyone, I have been a daily heavy drinker for the last 15 years. Sometimes I would drink all day and sometimes only in the evening. I initially started drinking to reduce anxiety and to get a manic high. I never felt like I "fit in" so I drank to reduce social anxiety among many other reasons. A couple years ago I attempted TSM but failed due to non compliance. I started TSM again recently with a vow to do it right.

I have been following TSM religiously for the last 4 months (going into my 5th). I'm not good with units so I haven't been keeping track - I often forget to keep track or can't keep track because I am purchasing drinks at bars/restaurants and don't know the alcohol content of the drinks. What I can tell you is that drinking is no longer pleasurable on NAL and sometimes I just get plain irritable when I drink. I hope the NAL is working based on this reaction.

Before TSM i would drink anywhere from 3/4 of a 750 ml bottle of vodka to a full 750 ml bottle of vodka a day. I am down to about half a 750 ml bottle of vodka a day (sometimes less and sometimes a bit more). I have not had an AF day in YEARS and decided to do a three day juice cleanse last week knowing that it prohibited alcohol. I thought I needed to start building in AF days to feel the difference between drinking on NAL and being sober.

I completed the three day juice cleanse last week and managed 4 alcohol free days!! I even abstained from alcohol on Friday which is definitely a trigger day for me. Like I said before, I haven't had this many AF days in recent history. It was fairly easy except for the last day of the cleanse which was a Friday but even Friday wasn't that bad. I rarely thought of alcohol although I do admit I was bored in the evenings.

I decided to repeat this trend this week. I am now on my second AF day this week and will try to go till Friday. I have also started biking and going on long walks on AF days to take advantage on the "endorphin window." I'm gonna keep this going and post on a weekly basis. I pray everyday that this will work but have recently come to the realization that I need to actively build in AF days so that drinking doesn't just become a daily bad habit that provides no pleasure (like nail biting). I know some people advocate drinking whenever you feel like it on TSM but I feel I need to take a more active role in my recovery after being on TSM for 5 months now.

I will keep everyone updated on a weekly basis (Thanks PlantPro for motivating me to do this) and make sure to work in AF days and exercise every week.

_________________
Heavy daily drinker for 20 years pre TSM.
Started TSM 4/1/14.


Last edited by Gc1979 on Tue Sep 09, 2014 12:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: 5 months in and first AF days in years
PostPosted: Wed Sep 03, 2014 11:46 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2014 11:06 am
Posts: 353
Hi and welcome Gc. Nice work on completing the 4 months and staying the course with the TSM protocol. I want to ty for your post and future ones. We could use your help in getting the word out. We are in the business of saving lives here. Af days? No white knuckling it? Eating better with juice fast, exercising? Seems to me your brain is healing itself. It's a sign bro. Good luck with your transition to more af days, keep working out, you can do it. Peace....Applause


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 Post subject: Re: 5 months in and first AF days in years
PostPosted: Wed Sep 03, 2014 3:01 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2014 1:40 am
Posts: 190
Sounds like good progress, GC! Congrats on the AF days.

Gc1979 wrote:
I rarely thought of alcohol although I do admit I was bored in the evenings.

This sounds familiar. I've always had it in my head that sober=bored, but that's starting to change. Drinking is really cheating, since it raises one's tolerance for boredom. It's more work to actually find something interesting to do and interesting people to be around, but it's also much more rewarding than sitting on a bar stool for eight hours.


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 Post subject: Re: 5 months in and first AF days in years
PostPosted: Wed Sep 03, 2014 3:42 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 16, 2014 5:02 am
Posts: 242
I was bored in the beginning too. It will pass. I had my first AF day (after 35 years!) about 5 months in. Boy, was it scary. But it was all mental, and now I am completely over that. I also remember that I too would get irritable on Nal+drinking. I think you'll be fine.

Just be careful about forcing AF days if you don't need to. You want to make sure the extinction is absolute. If you still crave a drink, -it's not an absolute extinction yet. I never pushed it, and eventually I just didn't want alcohol any longer. Extinct. Gone.Good.

Congrats!

_________________
Began: March 2014
Cured: August 2014


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 Post subject: Re: GC1979's weekly progress
PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:49 am 
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Joined: Thu May 02, 2013 8:59 pm
Posts: 22
Well here it goes.....I have finally managed to keep records of my drinking and will begin posting weekly starting with week 21 which was last week. I have been following TSM religiously since 4/1/14 (except for one occasion last weekend where I had a drink 20 minutes after taking the Nal). I am now at the point where I am building in AF days. I did not keep track of my drinking over the last 4 months but I know I was drinking about 20-25 units daily pre TSM (one unit = one ounce).

Here are my numbers which i will break down by week and then the individual days (one unit equals one ounce...just easier for me to measure that way):

Week 21
9/1/14 - 17 units.
9/2/14 - AF
9/3/14 - 13.3
9/4/14 - AF
9/5/14 - 13
9/6/14 - 20
9/7/14 - 20

I had a spike on 9/6 because I went to a music concert in Manhattan that evening and I was drinking, albeit slowly, from 5:30 to midnight. I was very, very hungover the next day so I suspect I drank alot on 9/7 to relieve the horrible NALover symptoms.

On the AF days I found my self slightly bored but it wasn't difficult in any other respect. I have found that the cravings and anxiety have decreased but they are still there in the back of my mind. I have had a long relationship with alcohol and have learned to associate it with everything; Need to mow the lawn? have some drinks beforehand. Need to work on some stuff on the computer? Have a few drinks beforehand. Need to go see relatives for dinner? have some drinks. I needed to have a buzz to do almost everything except for work. I know have to learn to do the normal activities of life while being sober and its a bit scary.

I do see my numbers coming down but I am such a pessimist that I can't even let my self be happy about it. I guess my pessimism is worsened by my previous failed TSM stint (due to noncompliance with the program).

I have started exercising (walking and jogging) and I am working on pushing my drinking start time later and later on days when I do drink (which is most days). I pray this works for myself and everyone else on this program. I will continue to post my progress.

God bless.

_________________
Heavy daily drinker for 20 years pre TSM.
Started TSM 4/1/14.


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 Post subject: Re: GC1979's weekly progress
PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 11:21 am 
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Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2014 11:40 pm
Posts: 139
Location: SW Florida
Gc1979, I like your approach. I must say, that is an extremely high amount of vodka you've consumed over the years. If you were born in 1979 (just guessing), you've been doing that from age 19 to 34. I'm surprised you didn't have major withdrawal symptoms, but it sounds like you got by just fine. I'm assuming also that all that drinking has hampered relationships, careers, etc... I, too, wasted a lot of good years because of too much drinking. I'm over 10 years older than you and have realized that it's never too late to at least start on a new path.

Your brain and your organs need lots and lots of AF days. You seem to have spent your entire adult life so far either drunk or hungover (to some extent), and I'm hopeful you'll find life actually waaaaaay better without alcohol. Stay strong.

_________________
TSM originally started 1/4/13
Into: Zen Buddhism, Stoicism, Weight Lifting, Fishing, Guitar, Making America Great Again
Married 24 years with kids


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 Post subject: Re: GC1979's weekly progress
PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 4:19 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 02, 2013 8:59 pm
Posts: 22
Hey Barry. Yes, born in 1979. I think the drinking only got that high in the last five years. Before that it was 6-10 beers a night. Never really a day drinker unless it was a day off from school or work or I was on a vacation. Nevertheless, I was drunk/buzzed for most of the important events in my life. The ONLY TIME i did not drink was at work.

I had no withdrawal symptoms except for the typical hangover symptoms on my recent AF days. You're right in your use of the word "hampered." Alcohol hampered some relationships and has somewhat hampered my career. Thankfully my wife confronted me a few years ago about my use before things got any worse.

I consider myself to be in a great marriage and my career is on a positive trajectory which is a miracle given my alcohol intake. I have never had any problems with the law either (another miracle). However things were starting to "break down" though towards the end of my pre TSM life. I was calling out sick to work due to hangovers, blacking out at night, neglecting my wife, etc. I was, to use a cliche, "riding the wheels until they fell off." They hadn't fallen off yet but they sure we're coming loose.

TSM has allowed me to retain some degree of control over my behavior while drinking and my intake more importantly. I know drinking will never give me that high again but you know what? I don't care one bit. Alcohol is a nasty drug that takes so much away and gives so little in return. It's a relationship with an abusive partner who tells you how great you are for a few minutes and then insults you the rest of the day. I despise alcohol because it made me an alcoholic without my permission and I welcome any pill that can help rid me of its evil.

And Barry you are right in that I need to start having more AF days and I am working forwards that slowly. I have had 5 AF days in the last 3 weeks. This is the most AF days I've had in the last 10 years at least and I credit TSM, this forum and the love I have for my wife and daughter. I believe this can work but I also believe that it requires some active mental willpower at some point otherwise drinking just remains a pointless habit. I have been on this for almost 6 months now and it's time to grab the bull by its you know what. In that respect I'll keep working in that exercise and those AF days. I also will post every week in the hopes it will help myself and others.

p.s. Barry. I admire your strength and your determination in staying AF for a year. Hats off to you. Hopefully we can all get to that point one day..

_________________
Heavy daily drinker for 20 years pre TSM.
Started TSM 4/1/14.


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 Post subject: Re: GC1979's weekly progress
PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 7:03 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2014 11:06 am
Posts: 353
Standing applause! Well done Gc. I think you are on the right path with the right mindset. Nothing like those af days to cut consumption and you are doing them. Adding the exercise can only benefit you in a positive way and it shows me you are really committed to achieving your freedom. My hats off to you lil bro. Ty again for your posts and sharing your experiences. Stay the course and lets show them how it's done. Congrats.


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 Post subject: Re: GC1979's weekly progress
PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 12:14 am 
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Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2014 11:40 pm
Posts: 139
Location: SW Florida
It's great that you have a supportive spouse and a kid to inspire you. My experience so far has been one good thing leading to another --- e.g. taking the first steps to not-drinking helped me exercise more, which gave me more energy, which made me more fun to be around, which made me need alcohol less, which made me a better parent, which made we want to drink less, on and on and on. It's sort of an upward-spiral once you take those first all-important actions.

_________________
TSM originally started 1/4/13
Into: Zen Buddhism, Stoicism, Weight Lifting, Fishing, Guitar, Making America Great Again
Married 24 years with kids


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 Post subject: Re: GC1979's weekly progress
PostPosted: Sun Sep 14, 2014 9:19 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 11, 2013 5:38 pm
Posts: 300
IMHO, its very important to replace drinking with other, good, behaviors.

You are on the right track and I wish you continued success.

_________________
Skipping nal? Not waiting the full hour?

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinforcement

Read "intermittent reinforcement" and "schedules"

Pre: 14-30/wk
9 Oct 13: 2.5
15 Oct 13: 3.5
17 Nov 13: 1.75
28 Feb 14: 2
1 Apr 14: 2


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