Totally awesome Magda! You get it. Applause

Magda, are you about ready to use the c-word? Sounds like it might be time to call it.

Ha ha, I know, but I'm trying not to get overconfident. I worry that the honeymoon period is still operating. But, you're right, if this week nothing changes, I'm probably going to call it. I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that what I thought was such an intractable problem really is solved and the nightmare is really over. It seems too good to be true, and it has happened so much faster than I expected.

Heh, yeah, I had that feeling too, along with a big dose of "Why the H does nobody ever mention this?"

Week 6...

Even though I've called cured, I guess I'll keep updating this to have a record in hopes it will be helpful to someone. I forgot to do it Wednesday amidst all my excitement at calling it.

It's been a totally AF week. I've had no cravings. The last couple of nights I have been home by myself and a little bored, which used to be a huge trigger for me, but I wasn't at all tempted to drink. The beer remains gathering dust in the fridge. It's like I'm a whole different person. I'm going to a fish fry tomorrow, so I need to decide whether or not to take a naltrexone before I go. I plan to just have soda and I don't think I'll be tempted, but I may take one just in case. It seems unnecessary, but I don't want to get overconfident.

I'm taking low-dose naltrexone at night, but haven't noticed any significant mood improvement. I've decided to start jogging, because there's a 5k that I want to do in a couple of months, so hopefully I will get some good endorphin reinforcement from that. This morning's jog felt quite good, despite my being so out of shape. I'm still knitting like a fiend. Instead of making amends 12-step style, everyone I've ever pissed off is getting a scarf and hat set this winter. I think knitwear conveys a lovely thanks-for-bailing-me-out-of-jail sentiment.

I have gotten a good lesson on intermittent reinforcement from my cat. He was sick and nearly died, so while he was recovering he got to have treats any time he "asked" for them, because I just wanted him to get all the calories he could. He asked pretty often, but it was within reason. Now that he's been better for a while, I've stopped giving them every time he asks, so he gets intermittently reinforced for begging for treats. He has gone crazy and is driving me crazy. He is constantly pulling on the treat drawer and yelling for them. I've created a monster. Intermittent reinforcement is real.

That would be a good story to pull out when anyone wonders if it'd do any harm to skip the nal just sometimes.

7 weeks...

Not much to report. Another AF week. I jogged (very, very slowly) every day this week, and it was tiring, but surprisingly enjoyable. I think the exercise and sunshine has done a lot for my mood. I did some volunteer work on a couple of nights, and that was fun. I'm still taking the low dose of naltrexone at night, but there are too many confounders to say whether or not it is helping anything, but I think that it is. I've never been able to have much fun without intoxicants, and I've been having quite a bit lately. Everything doesn't bore me like it used to. No runner's high yet, but I'm still getting passed by elderly walkers on my morning jog, so that's not surprising.

I still feel like I'm getting away with something, like this should be much, much more difficult.

Magda, that sounds really great. Just keep on that path and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised how good "real" life can be once you strip away the inferior pleasures of alcohol and your brain (and body) slowly rebuilds day after day. Running / jogging is, IMO, a great way to start developing more frequent natural highs.

The more (time) distance I get between alcohol and myself, the more I realize what a pain in the butt and burden it all was.

Well done Magda! A flawless example of how to execute the TSM protocol. For all current and future participants, this is how it is done. Another detailed description of how to use the best recovery system out there. That without a doubt shows that the chains of alcoholism aren't as permanent as society would want us to believe. That recovery can come faster then we're prepared for sometimes. I want to congratulate you on freeing yourself and send good wishes toward your new life. I also want to ty for all your contributions. For your on going detailed analysis of the process that freed you. For your helpful stance in sharing your highly educated scientific mind. Keep on posting, I learn something all the time. Standing applause!!!!!

You guys are so kind. Thank you very much.


I'm starting to realize that that lifestyle is nothing to mourn. It's really nice to have pleasurable experiences that you don't have to pay for later, or that are actually conducive to long-term health and happiness. I hope to have a lot more in the future.


This. I've always heard how arduous recovery is and that one's first year is horrible, but it's bollocks. I'm having a great time already, and my body and brain have barely begun to heal.