Thanks for posting this. I found the link really interesting and it feels quite relevant to me. I'm going to have to re-read it a couple of times to make sure that I've fully understood it, but there seems to be some promising information in there.

I'm probably going to go ahead with the self-experiment. I may start a separate thread for it.

Alcohol no longer smells disgusting. I think the aversion is wearing off from exposure.

I suppose aversion isn't actually required, but I'm kicking around the idea of doing a refresher course of "drink to extinction." I don't want to be part of the 20% who are cured after one year but relapsed after three years.

Then again, maybe I'm just still placing too much importance on alcohol. It's hard to break the habits of a lifetime. Even when the addiction is broken, old thoughts swirl around on some level.

I think that, in order to continue melissa1928's progress, I will have to progress in other directions. What directions? Well, I'd like to be in better physical condition, be more fluent in Spanish, finally learn to play the harmonica. Maybe I should focus more on those things?

I think the refresher course is needed. Just had a drink myself at the beginning of april. Each time i go back, there is even less desire for alcohol.

There is definitely a part of me that thinks, well, I used to hit that bar, and Id get food. Then it stopped. Maybe i should go over and hit the bar again, just to check.

Took the nal. Now waiting the hour.

This is a mood I've had occasionally, over the past few months. Alcohol sounded kinda good, but nal+al seemed like too much trouble, so I just skipped the whole thing. Today I got to thinking that maybe that is how it starts . . . the nal is a pain and kills the buzz, so maybe we'll just grab the alcohol?

I decided to do a refresher, even though it'll suck enjoyment out of anything else I might do tonight. Melissa's brain does not get to seek highs.

Good for you. Keep that brain on a leash, LOL.

I don't find that it sucks the enjoyment out of everything (ok, food and sex, which are non-trivial). It doesn't inhibit serotonin, GABA, oxytocin, etc., so it shouldn't make everything suck.

I haven't found that it interferes with "calm" activities. For example, I still like knitting and movies.

I ended up drinking five and a half. That's an official binge according to the government, but I'm okay with it. Getting drunk was pretty much my goal, and I achieved it in a manner suitable to a mature adult.

I told my husband not to be totally shocked if I end up trotting home with some pot once of these days. I guess I felt a bit frustrated because I couldn't get the high from alcohol. I'm not sure if occasionally smoking pot would be a good way to address my need for mental escape or a first step to a different addiction. Yeah, I know pot's not physically addictive, but anything pleasant can be an addiction.

For whatever it's worth, HAMS regards switching from alcohol to pot as harm reduction. I'm cured and I like being cured, but I'm bearing pot in mind if I'm ever seriously tempted to drinking without naltrexone.

Today I feel fine, though. No drive to get high. I guess the refresher course worked. Lifelong abstinence is for the birds; this is better.

Glad to hear that the refresher course worked to kill the drive to get high.

I don't think you would get yourself into any trouble with pot, especially since it sounds like your access to it is limited and you would remain mindful of abusing it. Addictions don't develop overnight. If I liked pot, I would probably go there, but, alas, I hate it (makes me paranoid).

Since you managed to get drunk on nal, it sounds like you didn't need to get high but rather needed to relieve stress. I think your options (nal+alcohol, pot) are much healthier than some of the alternatives that a doctor would prescribe (e.g. valium, xanax), though probably not as healthy as, say, exercising or meditating or getting a massage or something.

Thanks for sharing your experience, Melissa. Very helpful.

It is good to read that you are still working TSM. I often wonder about those who praise TSM while maintaining sobriety. Thanks for posting. Keek

Heya, all. After a week or whatever of being sick and wiping my hard drive and generally not being available, I'm back. Looks like we have a lot of good news and some not-so-great news. I'll go through and respond gradually.

I still seldom think of drinking. I just don't want it. I do have pot in the house -- that's been true for a few months; did I mention that? -- but it's clear that I'm not developing a problem with it. The first time I smoked it was an awesome nostalgiafest, but on the second occasion I realized that I didn't really want to spend many evenings that way. I don't remember the last time I actually smoked any of it, which I think means it's not important to me.

Today I head back to work after the summer break (I'm a tutor). I'm not looking forward to it, but one must earn a living.