Some questions ladies? How long have you been drinking? Do you drink to numb the pain or anxiety? Who has dual diagnosis? What came first? Depression and anxiety then alcoholism or vice verse? Were or are parents alcoholics? How many of you feel this is a learned behavior as opposed to a disease? I have a lot more questions, but that will do for now. Keek

Sounds like you learned five important things.

I hear you. I was quite startled to realize that I had physiological alcohol withdrawal. It must have been a shock to identify your cravings as cravings.

When I quit completely - after 2 years of living in TSM recovery, I had been drinking alcohol for 23 years.

In that time I've also been diagnosed with Bulimia and Clinical Depression. Not a clue which came first, sure the Bulimia diagnosis came first, and as part of that I controlled by drinking (because it contained kcals, but at other times it was an escape), prior to the bulimia I had had problems with drinking. Not so much the amounts, but the effect - I'd get very giddy and become a pain in the neck after only a few drinks, and had had my first couple of blackouts/being sick after too much alcohol episodes.

Hi UK blonde, I remember reading through your posts a while back.. I'm happy to hear the AF life is working for you. I too suffered with bulimia in my 20's.. Basically, I can remember being emotionally jacked up most of my life, so it's no wonder that alcohol became a problem. I've been reading a lot about TSM today and really hope to comply with the golden rule this time. I read where some people put spare pills in various locations, so that they never have the excuse of not having it available. Good idea. I have been making a lot more progress towards AF days and believe this is key as long as I don't get over confident and think I'm special and can drink moderately without the Nal. Signing off for the night... Thanks for "listening" , xxxx's Keek

The C3 Foundation sells a cool little container to put in the glove compartment of your car or in your purse, to put some spare pills.

Or I just bought some on eBay, with little screw tops.

Just checking in this morning.... I was researching yoga retreats and found one with a 10 day juicing diet.. Ha, to think what a shock my nervous system would go through if I detoxed from everything at once.. I may be crazy, but not quite that crazy. It's my flight or fight tendency rearing its nasty little head. And the body issues: "if I drop a couple of pounds, then I'll be happy". Grrrr.

.. As far as my ability to go AF is concerned, I really think my doc switching my meds from Prozac to lamictal has really helped. I still have anxiety sometimes, but I'm learning what my triggers are and magnesium seems to help if I take it right away...

Trying to be proactive here and remembering that when I want that first drink that I need to look at how it will just end in remorse and that I really do enjoy life more without being drunk.

Feeling fortunate that my hubby doesn't really drink much and even less now that I'm trying to gain control. I'm still a little pissed that he wanted to go ahead with our annual party knowing my struggles... We talked it out yesterday and he admitted that he has no idea how hard it is. ... Ok,ok. Done journaling .. I will read some other posts now... Keek

Another thing I learned: I can't commit to AF days with a bunch of alcohol in the house. It's midnight here and I'm reading posts about how one misses the Buzz and the battle is lost. I'm going to give myself a little grace and just have some patience ..... Still going to have to wait a week to take the Nal because of the Vicodin I took on Sat.... To be honest, I don't REALLY want to take the Nal anyway. I want an instant cure (don't we all?). This would be a good time to thank those of you who have endured and are still hanging around to help. Thank you!!... I'm also afraid of the Nal because of past experiences with side effects. Of course now that I have had some detox headaches, I'm not sure what's what....

Mood: blasé

Next couple of days will be a bit hectic...but. I hope to post this weekend... If I don't, feel free to PM me with a slap on the face...Hugs! Keek

I think I'm going to go ahead and take the Nal tomorrow night even though it will only have been 5 days since the Vicodine. I only took 1 and 1/2 of the 5/325 brand and it was early in the day. The way I see it is I would probably be seriously hung over regardless and at least this way I will be complying with the golden rule. I'll do a bit more reading before making a final decision.

I feel pretty good this a.m. Considering I drank a bottle of wine last night. I'm probably hitting the manic state

Mood: Hopeful

Trying to figure out how to delete previous posts?

I'm going to view the cured list because the lack of activity on this forum has me a little discouraged right now......