Barry,

You've certainly highlighted the cunning, baffling, and powerful nature of alcohol. I don't think any of us could sum it up any better. In keeping with the sailing metaphor, if you were to line up two columns with the positive and negative aspects of not drinking on each side, you would have a list the would seriously list to the positive side. In fact I think it would capsize! Yet you still harbor (wink, wink) the romance of drinking.

I'm exactly the same way. If I get out too far out (especially thinking about the holidays) with the thoughts of never drinking again I find myself in trouble and I will get into a funk. The holidays and alcohol is almost Pavlovian for me. It starts at Halloween and goes right on through to New Years. But the truth of the matter is that on the whole alcohol disrupted and caused more pain and suffering for me than any joy that it ever brought. Those are the thoughts that I need to bring to the forefront. The thoughts of my Father falling face down drunk or my two brothers screaming at each other or worse! Those were the holidays of my childhood.

So the solution for me is to not give those thoughts the light of day. When I say that, I mean that I try not to entertain those thoughts. I know that I cannot control the thoughts that enter my head, but I can choose whether I follow them down the rabbit hole. There is a lot of truth in what UKBlonde said in thinking only about today and let tomorrow take care of itself. Regardless of whether you are a Christian or not (I think you are) there is great wisdom in Matthew 6:34. As humans and having the capacity of free will, we don't always pursue the course that is the best for us (and others). That is the battle that we must wage each and every day. Keep up the AF days! I hope you make it through Lent. You are an inspiration to me!

Yesterday I had chance passing by with a person I recognise from a recovery group. The person was at work, and I know that person has been in the local knews as a consequence of their drinking. That person is old than me. That person has lost weight, had red eyes and I'm not sure if I smelled something.

I wanted to reach out and didn't know if that was for my benefit or theirs.

I also couldn't communicate this to the person with me.

I know why I do not drink alcohol.

Perhaps this should be on a thread of mine, but thought I'd stick it here for now.

It's always tricky to put ourselves into someone else's business, isn't it? Even if you tried to keep the putative topic all about yourself, your point would be clear.

I'm not sure there's any truly good way to do it. If your best guess is that he'd be glad to have the information . . . well, isn't that all any of us can do? Go with our best guesses?

Day 50 AF today. That's a pretty good milestone for me. A length like that really provides a "distance" from drinking, which is a whole new experience for me. Really, I've only drank 5 out of like 110 days or so since January 1. I'm going to talk to my wife this weekend about me just keeping the full abstinence until at least the end of summer. It helps me to have foreseeable dates in the future at which point I can reevaluate my situation, instead of just saying, "I'll never drink again!" which always fills me with some angst. I'm also pretty pumped about how well my fitness (and appearance) has been of late, and I think I can achieve "the best shape of my life" (as the cliché goes) this summer, but ONLY IF I don't start drinking again.

Yeah, how true is that?

[Answer: Really, really true. ]

I'm middle-aged, not young, but I still have decades ahead of me. How likely is it that I will never again touch alcohol? "One day at a time" is too timid for me, but "never again" is too bold. Realistically, it should be something in between.

I'm not old either, and it does get depressing when I think I have to do this for the rest of my life. Then I think back to how horrible and scary my life was, I see some of the people I used to drink with in the distance at least 2-3 times a week, and have other things happen that remind me why I don't drink. Those things pop up for a reason.

Barry seems onto a good idea here. Not "I will resume drinking at the end of the summer," but "I will reevaluate at the end of the summer." I like that idea a lot.

"Forever" is too long . . . but I'll reevaluate my near-teetotaling on my July birthday.

Ta da!!! No drama to report as Lent finally came to an end. I was actually tempted this weekend -- had to make three runs to the liquor store for company. Was asked, "Do you want your vodkas?" by the clerk (I always started with "two Smirnoff red minis"), and was around relatives drinking (moderately) all weekend. On Saturday, I was stressed by my bratty nieces and feeling a "wee bit" anxious (a nod to the Brits out there). Instead of drinking, I went for a run to tire myself out and it really helped. Then, we had a nice fire outside after dinner and had two hours of fun conversation with my oldest two daughters. Took my magic Benadryls one hour before bedtime (my 2nd wonder drug!) and was asleep within 10 minutes.

I'm excited for abstinence, Round 2, which starts tomorrow.

You kicked Lent's butt.

That doesn't sound very reverent, but I mean it in a good way.

A few of my posts were deleted (not by I). There was nothing inflammatory, personal or profane in them. This hasn't happened before. Is a moderator at work here?