Thanks JMS. It's been tougher this week but I'm battling on! Glad to see that you're doing well too.

Update for weeks 30, 31 and 32.

Things are all good in Ruthyland. I'm sticking with the AF Monday to Thursday and only drinking at the weekend. A few weeks ago it was taking effort but it feels quite natural now and I don't really think about drink too much during the week. I do look forward to my Friday glass of wine with dinner but not in the old desperate craving way...just a kinda of "mmm this is nice".

I've had a few social occassions and two drinks has been the most I've wanted. I still want those first couple of glasses (only small measures of 125mls) but after that there's an automatic switch off from wanting anymore. I'm sure I could power through and drink more, but I really just don't want to.

Don't all shout at once....but I am having to resist the temptation to drink without the Nal. As I'm drinking less I've noticed a devil on my shoulder saying "why bother taking it for such a small amount of booze ?". So far, I'm staying strong and I'm glad I've noticed what's going on in my thoughts. I know it would be a huge backward step and that I'd be risking all that I've gained and so I'm determined to stay the course. However, it does help me understand a bit more about how people come off Nal. Before, when I've read people's stories of drinking without Nal I've never understood why anybody would do it...now I get it.

Have a good week everyone

Total UK units
Week 30 12 4AF
Week 31 11 4AF
Week 32 9 4AF

No shouting. Lots of people have that temptation at some point. As long as you don't actually do it, no worries. It should pass.

Sounds like you're doing very well. Yay for you.

Ruthy,

It sounds like you are doing great. I am so happy for you! I decided to follow your lead and go AF Monday through Thursday as well. So far it is working, although it is taking a bit more effort than I would like it to. I am finding that it is getting ever so slightly easier as the weeks go by. I'm at the beginning of my fourth week. What week are you on?

Whatever you do, don't give into those non-NAL drinking temptations. Speaking from experience, it could really set you back and that would be a shame after all of the hard work that you have put in. I think we have to come to the realization that drinking is never going to be the same as it once was. I'm OK with that and I hope you are too!

Thanks melissa

JMS,
This is now my 7th week AF Monday to Thursday and I think it is getting easier as the weeks go by. For some reason the 4th week was the hardest but it passed. At first I was saying to myself "I'm going to try really hard to stay AF Mon to Thurs" and I would be thinking a lot during the day about not drinking or startegies to use to help. That's slowly changed and now I find myself naturally thinking "I don't drink during the week" or "I only drink at weekends". It feels much better.
I'm glad you're doing well too.

Hi Ruthy, I'm so glad to see you are doing so well

I'm still struggling with the good results I've had with bac, and nal, but it's mostly habit at this point. I re-read your first few pages - early on you said something like: ok, I'm not drinking as much, now what?

It is going to feel very weird not drinking But I've sort of promised myself that I'd use Lent as a jumping off point - so a few weeks to go and I will take up your method - no drinking Monday through Thursday and then see what I feel like on the weekends.

Thanks for being such an inspiration
Babs

It's been 4 weeks since I lasted posted. Unfortunately, I've let things slip a bit. Things aren't completely disasterous, but I'm not dong as well as I was.I'm not really sure what's happened. I do have a tendency to self sabotage so maybe that's it. All was going so well but I kind of slipped back into old habits. It's like I can do really well for a period of time and am really happy and pleased with myself and then I'll go into self destruct mode and do things that I know are going to cause me upset but I still go ahead and do them anyway. It's a pattern that I've been in for years.I've tried over and over to understand why I do it but I'm no closer to an answer. Maybe I just have to accept that this is me and be vigilent about assessing my thoughts and emotions in an effort to head things off. I wonder whether it could be a type of depression. It's like I'm ok for months... happy and settled and in control but then I get down and so I drink, eat and gamble till I get to the point that I'm so fed up with it and sick of it that I resolve not to do it anymore and I start all over again.
It's always the same pattern and I'm not really sure what comes first. Do I get down and then try to find ways to cheer myself up (eating, drinking, online slots) or do I start doing those things first which then make me feel down? Either way, I've had a few really cheesed off weeks.
I have been drinking without taking the Nal and unsurprisingly I've been back to drinking most days. My intake hasn't been outrageous (even without the Nal I still find that I can't drink very much anymore) but I'm aware it's a slippery slope. I haven't been tracking my units, my diet has consisted mostly of junk food and chocolate and my savings account has been virtually cleared.
On the plus side, I'm back on here and resolving to try again. I'm feeling perkier and I know that I can do this. A better, happier, healthier life is within my grasp.

You were awfully close. Maybe life without a buzz was subconsciously frightening?

I'm just guessing.

It could be that melissa. I've got two theories both of which seem valid. One is that life is boring and I need to do something with myself to start to feel more interested and fulfilled. I'm a stay at home mum but both of my children are out at school/college all day and if I'm honest I'm really quite lonely at times. There's only so much housework I feel inclined to do and although I might meet friends for coffee here and there, it's still a really long day. I haven't worked since the kids were small (I used to be a nurse) and I do have a constsnt feeling that there has to be more to life. I hardly use my brain anymore. Yet in some ways I'm nervous and held back about trying new things. I can always find an excuse not to get a job and all the ideas I have about joining a club/taking up a hobby/exercising/walking etc. etc. always seem to come to nothing. I've fallen into a kind of inertia where I'm bored and lonely but feel too bored and loney to do anything about it.

The other theory is based on an article I read on dynamic psychotherapy and this part of it really struck a chord with me....

"The pain you know is familiar and, by causing it yourself you at least feel in control. You know how things will turn out since, without realising it, you have engineered it that way....By extinguishing your own hopes your unconcious is trying to protect you from the rejection/distress that has already happened in the past"

I realised that for me the alcohol/food/slots are what I do over and over to cause me pain. In doing so, I spend my time focussed on that rather than having to feel the deep, raw underlying pain of my subconcious. Getting free of my "unholy trinity" means that I have to face up to that deep underlying pain and that's very difficult. The more pain I cause myself the more I can divert from having to focus on what's really going on deep down.

Who knows? Maybe it's connected to my dopamine receptors like in the artcle you posted about. Maybe some day I'll find the answer. For now, I'm putting one foot in front of the other in an effort to keep moving forward. The last two days have been painlessly AF

I know what you mean about the rut. It's tricky.

You know what sometimes helps me? Rereading this article:

http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/

Doing stuff seems a lot more important when I model it as adding value to myself.

It only works sometimes, though.