Melissa,

Congratulations on your success! I do think that you are being a bit hard on yourself. You've only been at this for 6 weeks or so. Give it some time. Those behavior patterns developed over years are bound to take some time to change. I've heard that it takes up to two years for your brain to rewire itself. Without the alcohol I would imagine that you are going to have more energy and perhaps more desire to do other things that are more rewarding. I feel like I am becoming somewhat indifferent and I'm taking that as a huge success. As a result I am starting to explore alternative activities. I'm looking forward to hearing your continued success!

I'm calling it.

It's only been five weeks, but the actual addiction is gone. I still have deeply disturbed sleep and a slight sense of grief over losing my easy escape, but I'm pretty sure those are normal emotional reactions rather than signs of addiction per se.

So, hooray for me. I'll post something on the cured list in a little bit.

Hi there. You posed on my thread a while back. Thank you. I am back after taking some time off from the site. I have enjoyed reading your posts and can relate to say many things you have said and felt. Congratulations on your cure! So glad you were a quick responder. I have been at this for almost two years. I have seen improvement but I still can't wait to say I am cured. Again, congratulations!!!!

GA

Melissa, a question if you don't mind me asking. Have you gone AF or are you managing controlled drinking with Nal?

I'm not officially a teetotaler, but I basically am.

We have some Irish creme stuff, acquired during the Christmas season. At some point I'll probably bust out the nal so that my husband and I can open it together. The evening beer has just lost its appeal, though, and I've ditched it entirely. I don't even like smelling beer on his breath any more (although I am hardly in a position to complain!).

I don't have an offline social circle, so I don't have to contend with social pressure. If I had friends who drank alcohol, I'd probably nal+al semi-regularly. Really, though, there's nothing wrong with being a teetotaler. About one person in ten is, if I recall correctly.

Hi Melissa,
You spend a lot of time on here replying to posts, giving help and (great) advice and it occurred to me today that no-one's asked how you've been doing lately. I know that TSM has worked wonders and the drink is no longer an issue, but how has life been treating you? How are you finding it AF? How are things going?
Not being nosey...and please don't feel you have to answer...just wanted to check in with you
Ruth.

Being AF is okay. I now eat too much junk food, though, and I'm circling around approaching that. Being AF is definitely better than being a drunk, and I don't really envy my husband for being able to drink just one or two -- TSM cured ADE along with the actual addiction.

Life kicks me around a fair bit. Seems like there's always some crisis or at least several mini-crises. I'm slowly moving forward, though. Being AF makes that possible.

I like the simplicity of AF. Everyone's different, but my own life doesn't put me in situations where I feel like I ought to be drinking. I was a solitary drinker for the most part, and so ditching alcohol hasn't changed how I interact with the world.

I keep hanging around here, and doing the blog, because I want other people to know how to cure their addictions. Being cured is so much better than just abstaining and leaning on a support group that there are no words to describe it. For many of us, the latter wasn't even possible. It certainly never worked for me.

I never get enough sleep, I don't eat right, I don't exercise, and all of these things make me feel even less capable of handling the constant crises. I'll muddle through, though.

I wish I weren't on two different antidepressants. That strikes me as ludicrous. My husband says he notices a real difference when I go off them, though, so I suppose I'll stick with them for now.

Thanks for asking.

Hi Melissa and friends.. I am following you and have read some of your blog.. good stuff! You have been helpful to me and I really appreciate it! I am only on day 4 of TSM.

Regarding the junk food.. well, a worry at the back of my brain is what I'll turn to if I can't escape through booze. I turn to food already along with the booze.. I was hoping if I drank and overate snacks after taking my nal (still at .25 mg) that both behaviors would cease to exist. haha, there is nothing left in the world for me to abuse (well, I guess there is but I am not interested in them). I hardly think I am going to develop an insatiable sexual appetite or go crazy shopping. I already like to gamble, and as long as I stay away from the casino about 30 minutes away I am fine.

I am reading a book called Ditching Diets and in it she has a mantra about what to tell yourself as you "sit through" your stressful emotions versus taking comfort in food. We are so used to turning to our addiction, and many of us try to distract ourselves as we white knuckle NOT turning to our addiction. She says that distraction won't work forever.. We need to feel our feelings and label them and make friends with them... and then they will eventually fade. Gosh, I hope she is right because when I am stressed (as it sounds like you are) I am triggered.

I was also hoping that I'd start exercising on my "off" nal days. I hope to do that as of next week.. always on Monday ya know. We are both worth taking better care of our health. If only I could get a pill from River Pharmacy for that!

Thanks again for helping so many people and spreading the word!!

I'm glad things are ok with you. As time goes on I'm sure you'll also master the junk food and exercise...and maybe without alcohol in your life you may eventually be able to reduce the anti-depressents too.


It does seem as though life throws a bit more at some of us than others, but it's good to hear that you can manage what comes your way without the booze.

I'm glad that you're still here. Your help and advice is always thoughtful and informative and it's good of you to want to help others. I love the blog.

Keep up the good work!

Change Your Setpoint http://gettingstronger.org/2010/10/change-your-setpoint/ is about weight control, but it is very, very relevant. It's also heavily fact-laden and thoroughly researched. It's good reading for anyone struggling with any addiction.

Although my alcohol addiction is broken, I am still working on becoming a nonaddicted person overall. Cross-addiction is pretty common. Whether we believe in the dopamine/serotonin-related theories, the "hungry heart," the addictive personality, something else, some combination (they're not mutually exclusive, and some interact), the empiric fact is that people who hop off of one runaway train may find themselves on at least a fast-moving horse.

Junk food isn't the worst addiction. It's better to be fat than to be jailed/fired/etc. I'd rather be none of the above, though.



This is fairly close to my evolving paradigm as it currently stands. I was born two drinks below par (as people used to say). My unpleasant early years were harder to take and harder to shake because my wiring didn't allow for happiness via normal channels. My instinctive attempts to fix the problem with addictive substances actually made it worse. The Sinclair Method forcibly broke the direct alcohol addiction, which is totally awesome and was a necessary prerequisite before I could take any other measures, but it didn't fix the original problem of being two drinks below par.