Hi there
I have never used one of these message thingies before. i started Naltrexone three days ago. I only found out about it a couple of weeks ago and immedietly sent away for them on line. I was becoming increasingly concerned about my alcohol consumption and declining ability to control it. I have as a rule restricted my drinking to weekends but quite heavy at the weekends.(perhaps 4/5 bottles of wine) however it had started to creep in during the week particularly over this winter due to loneliness and boredom.I have been increasingly drinking on my own in the evenings and beginning to prefer to come home from social occasions and continue to drink on my own.
a complicating factor is that i am a counsellor and i was breaking my own rule of being sometimes numbed with a hangover while trying to be emotionally present for my clients. Also aware of some of my clients with their own heroic struggles with their addiction being more successful than me!
Anyway I started on wed evening with dinner with a friend followed by drinks in a pub. took the Nal an hour before. I drank about 5 glasses of wine during the evening. when i got home i deliberately opened a bottle of wine and started drinking- but couldn't finish the glass. However next day i felt like i had drunk much more. Next night went to music in pub with friends started with alcohol free lager as i was driving then had large glass of wine and was bought a second one but didn't feel i could drink more than a sip. It was wierd i had no urge to drink more when i got home. Last night at my book club- became aware that the usual rush i experienced from the first drink wasn't there and i noticed that i was drinking at about the same pace as my quite moderate drinking fellow book club members but when i came home i still had urge to stay up and drink- not to have high feeling but to dull awful low feeling.however once again i only managed one glass before falling asleep on the sofa.

SoulByTheSea - wow...I was going to ask you what book you were reading until I got to the suicidal part.

Many of us on the board (all?) have issues with depression and anxiety - it seems to go hand in hand with al abuse. However, I have not seen anyone experience suicidal thoughts after taking the Nal. I looked into this thoroughly before taking the medication and did not see any correlation (in fact, there was one citing where there were less suicides with participants on Nal vs the control group).

I would suspect your thoughts are occurring because of your coming out to yourself about having a problem with AL and the dramatic change your life is about to have. But, to be safe I would advise you to monitor your thoughts closely and if they continue, give the NAL a break and see if they go away.

Please post back here again, often, if you have no one else that knows you are going through this - there is a lot of support here.

Best of luck to you,

Hello Soul, again welcome to the board! I do think most of us have suffered from anxiety and depression but not suicidal thoughts that have been posted anyway. It would be good if you could find someone close to you to talk with about this face to face. I don't think it is a common occurance and worry that this board may not be enough. Keep reading and posting and it may help.
Not being a professional I just wouldn't feel safe to say more.

Yes, I have had sporadic suicidal thoughts and plans on Naltrexone, but I have also had them prior to Naltrexone, so I did not consider them to be a Naltrexone related side effect. My four half-hearted unsuccessful suicide attempts were not due to depression, however, but rather so I could escape the cacophony of voices and simultaneous thoughts due to my manic psychiatric condition. These thoughts have subsided significantly in the past 2 months, although I had some thoughts and a plan just this past Thursday, probably because of cutting down on my Valium too fast. I have since rectified the Valium problem after consulting my psychiatrist.

Anyway, what disturbed me the most about your post was that you Since you are a counselor, you know that a lot of people have suicidal thoughts, but when they actually make a plan, that is quite serious. And as a counselor you know that you need to seek some professional help. It's what you would recommend to one of your clients if someone came to you talking about suicidal plans.

Bob

Welcome -- What Bob says is exactly right.

Naltrexone itself has no mood altering properties, according to a post here by Dr. Eskapa. Many of us experience some unexpected and unexplained emotion in the early days of nal. I think it makes perfect sense: We are experiencing our thoughts and our lives without the shield of endorphines we experienced while drinking without nal.

If your emotions are to the point of suicidal ideation with a plan, please see a professional counselor.

All good wishes and I hope you stay with us.

Hi there
Thank you for your replies. Am on day 6 and feeling much better. The tearfulness stopped yesterday and i had no further episodes of suicidal ideation. I have arranged to see a therapist tomorrow. Having given some reflection to the matter i don't think its anything to do with acknowledging my alcohol dependence. If have been working with that for some time- in fact finding out about TSM a couple of weeks ago has given me the first sense of hope, indeed excitement, i experienced for months. Rather i believe i have been experiencing vicarious traumatisation resulting from my job. It has been a truly awful two weeks here because of the release of the report i mentioned and many of my clients have been dealing with particularly horrible material usually i am good at protecting myself but i found myself struggling and was drinking more than usual and on more nights than usual. My general rule is not to drink the night before i see clients- usually sun to wed nights. but i had been breaking my own rule these past couple of weeks thus making myself even more vulnerable.
I have been reading and enjoying this site and am humbled by the honesty and care i see. I've also had a laugh reading about the dating ladies as i identify with you.

Soulbythesea,

It is so good to hear you are doing so much better. I can understand how traumatizing it must be working in such circumstances. Very, very tough.

We are here for you! Best of luck and keep posting!

bb

Welcome, soulby. I suspect your sadness cropped up b/c you were drinking less, and thus allowing all those buried feelings to surface all at once. Glad you're through that phase, and that you are going to see a counselor. Hey! Maybe you can be OUR official counselor on-site! We have several musicians, at least one artist, a writer, an attorney. . .pretty well covered, I'd say!

Ditto!

Bob

Welcome SoultotheSea

I'm new here and it is nice to see another Paddy around the place

I'm considering starting TSM after browsing this site, and was curious - where did you go for your naltrexone?