Week 30 is in the rear view mirror and I am halfway through week 31. The cravings are still with me in terms of frequency, but the intensity continues to decline. Consumption is down as well and my AF days are up. All in all I would say that the trends are all positive. I think the biggest mistake that I made over the last several months was breaking the golden rule with far too much frequency. I don't do that any longer. If I'm thinking of drinking I will take that pill well in advance to make sure that I don't violate the one hour time frame.

The holidays are coming and being around family has always been a bit of a challenge for me. I am hoping that this year is different than times past. Imagine enjoying the company of others without thinking that I have to blow my brains out with alcohol. Wishing everyone a safe and happy Thanksgiving holiday.

From what I've seen here, violating the Golden Rule is one of the chief causes of slow or no progress. I'm glad you're on the case.

Good luck with the holidays. You are regaining control, and you can choose what you want to do at social events.

Does your family drink a lot? If so, that must make it harder.

Historically, my family drank a lot. Unfortunately, we were the stereotypical Irish family. Holidays were always fairly colorful occasions. Lot's of drink and then lot's of nasty words and hurt feelings. I was the youngest by a long shot and had to witness a lot of carnage. That hasn't been the case in quite some time so I can't use that as an excuse. Thankfully, we are a much more subdued crowd these days. Thanks for the concern

JMS, Glad to see you are sticking with the plan.

Yes, the holidays will be a good test. My drinking side of the family not only has the multiple Thanksgiving and Christmas drinking events, but they also have 4 December Birthday parties thrown into the mix.

Keep us posted, good luck, and Happy Thanksgiving.

I am thankful for my family and many things, but Nal and TSM are now somewhere on that list also.

Christopher,

Yes, I too am truly thankful for NAL and TSM. If I stop to think about all that I have I realize that I have much to be thankful for. I have to force myself to do that, but when I do I end up feeling better about things.

Thanksgiving was yesterday and Thursday is also the beginning of the measurement week for me (I started TSM on a Thursday). Unfortunately I had a big consumption day yesterday, so I started the week in a hole. Three 1/2 pints throughout the course of the day yesterday, all in secret. Surprisingly I don't have a hangover this morning. No issues with the holiday/family and all, I just feel like an idiot for doing that. I am once again reminded that there are times where my decision making gets overridden. I really didn't need the third one. In fact, I didn't need the first one for that matter. The holidays are a huge trigger for me (as they are for many). It's almost stimulus response for me. Shopping = drinking. Decorating the tree = drinking. Family gatherings = drinking. And on and on...... I am really looking forward to the day where that doesn't happen. My goal is to be free of the mental obsession.

I keep thinking that I am doing the heavy lifting for extinction to work, but sometimes it feels like I am flying in the face of logic. Having to drink to get cured? I am sometimes flummoxed by that concept. It certainly runs counter to my experience with AA. In fact it is heretical. But if I look back at my history on TSM, I have gone through two distinct periods where I felt that I had reached a new level (meaning lower consumption levels) and then backslid to higher levels for a period. I have to remind myself that each of those periods of backsliding were temporary and that the new lower levels became the new norm. I kind of feel like that is where I am now with yesterday's activities. If I let doubt creep in then I am headed for trouble. The truth of the matter is I have cut my consumption by roughly two thirds since I began on TSM. That's the good news. The still frustrating aspect if that the obsession is still there. I guess it is just going to take time for it to weaken.

I hope that everyone in the US had a great Thanksgiving! Have a wonderful weekend!

Week 32. The AF days seem to be on the rise, but they aren't coming easy. I'm still thinking about drinking with what seems like the same frequency, but it is a bit easier to resist the temptation. That and the NAL hangovers are proving to be deterrents. I had three AF days last week and then imbibed on Thursday evening. As a result, Friday was truly a day in hell. I'm pretty sure someone stuck an ice pick in my head and no matter what I tried, it stayed with me all day. Absolute misery. The only thing that provided some relief was a drink on Friday evening. My consumption levels have also dropped, largely as a result of more AF days.

I'm beginning to believe that I am going to have to employ some combination of abstinence and TSM to get to the point of extinction. I guess for me it is just going to take longer than others. I remain optimistic and will keep up with the regimen. Have a great week!

I finished another week with higher consumption rates and no AF days. That's disappointing, but I know that this is temporary and the result of some lax actions on my part. I was a complete TSM disaster this week. I violated the golden rule on two occasions, drank one day on a reduced dosage, and drank one day without NAL because I ran out and was too lazy to pick up the prescription. I had reduced my dosage back to 50 MG about a week and a half ago. Not sure why I did that because I definitely felt the effect of booze. Hmmm.... maybe that feeling had something to do with it? Went back to 62.5 MG today after getting the scrip filled, had a few cocktails and don't feel any effect at the moment. It's glorious. Here's to the magic of absorbo pills!

If it hasn't been said enough, I'll say it again. Don't mess with the golden rule. I have done it enough now to know that it is tried and true. I'm not sure if that causes intermittent reinforcement. In my case I think that it did ever so briefly. This week I was less in control of my desire and did not have any AF days. That is most likely the result of backsliding with the dosage and one hour rule. But today I feel that as a result of increasing the dosage back to 62.5 MG and honoring the one hour rule I am back on track. Not doing so earlier in the week caused me to act like a **** stain. The good news is that as I was drinking this evening I began to ask myself "what's the point" and eventually poured out the remainder of my drink. It's now close to 8:00 pm and I have absolutely no desire to drink.

The positive in all of this thus far is that my desire to drink continues to weaken even though I have not been that vigilant. I'm not recommending lax behavior as it relates to TSM, but I still feel like I am making progress and would be even farther along if I was more regimented. I'm still thinking about booze throughout the day, but that compulsion is weakening and will continue to do so if I remain vigilant. Have a great weekend everyone!

I just finished another frustrating week from a TSM perspective (week 34). My units increased for the second week in a row. Somewhat discouraging. The fact that we are around the holidays isn't helping either. I just don't get it. The cravings haven't really abated at all, although I do think they are somewhat easier to manage. This is not turning out to be the "magic bullet" that I was hoping for. I'm beginning to think that I am going to have to introduce some form of forced abstinence into my program for this to work. Maybe I am in the 20% for whom this doesn't work. Or maybe I just have to keep plugging along and wait for the magic bullet. I've come across other members that have gone along for periods longer than I and had success.

The suggestion of having a drink when I feel like it is not proving to be helpful because I feel like drinking every day. And I have done exactly that the last two weeks. Always in the afternoon and always in a very short, concentrated window. However, now that I am attempting to adhere to the one hour rule and have increased the dosage I no longer get drunk. I just want it to leave me alone. This was the reason that I somewhat gave up on AA and turned to TSM. It certainly wasn't to be able to continue to drink. I just couldn't imagine going the rest of my life with the cravings monkey on my back. I thought TSM was the answer and that I would be able to get alcohol free and not have to look back.

It appears that my ramblings aren't that compelling, but if anyone has any suggestions I would greatly appreciate them. Have a great weekend and Merry Christmas!

I can't help noticing that 55 is a lot lower than 80-100.

How long has it been since you increased the dosage? Few weeks, right? It's possible that you're only beginning proper extinction.

Well, if you werent following the one hour rule, you werent doing TSM.

You should google "intermittent reinforcement and extinction".

That said, I dont think I agree with the whole drink as you normally would thing. At some point, after the cravings leave, you have to break the habits and patterns.