Hello,
It's nice to see the support on these forum boards. Like you all, I have the misfortune of having the genetic + environment combo. I was able to be AF over 8 years ago but only for one month, kept fighting it (miserably and poorly, even getting a DUI) then went to Rational Recovery for 3 days (outside of Sacramento, CA) and was AF for 7 years. My entry back (in 2010) was not a quick slide, but that doesn't matter now, as I began drinking more heavily two years ago (and smoking - bleck). I've stopped the smoking and was using Antabuse here and there to have AF days here and there, but knew that wouldn't be the solution. I want to be able to have 1 or 2 drinks when I'm with my boyfriend 1-3 times a week. I find I drink more when alone (bored, lonely), or the nights I have the kids (anxious) and want to be AF on those nights. I feel so badly that I've exposed my kids to this. They knew me as the AF mom for years and now I feel like the TW (train wreck) mom. I started drinking wine out of the box which has been a disaster, since I can't really see how much I've been drinking. I'm sure it's close to a bottle or more on some nights. When I was AF for those years I enjoyed the absence of guilt, paranoia, and cravings that wasted so much space in my brain. I'm looking forward to that absence once again and feel hopeful, patiently hopeful. I started last night by taking 25 mg, and drank more than I would have liked. Will keep you all posted.
Thanks,
Committed1

Hi,

I already answered you in the other thread. May I ask why you started another? Did you not see my reply, or not see your own original post?

I ask because the board has occasional glitches, and I don't want anybody to feel ignored because of a technical problem.

Hi, Thanks! I wasn't sure where my post should go, actually, so I re-posted it in the other category. Tonight is going better. Thanks again...