Hi all,
I drank very heavily when young,
I stopped when I became pregnant. This was not only because I had to; it was perfectly easy to abstain. It was a little weird, actually.
I fell back into alcoholism gradually over the past few years. This made me think -- why was it so easy to abstain in pregnancy and early motherhood, yet seemingly impossible now? What was different? Well, the "normal drinker" wore off when my son was six or seven years old, which is the same time that "mommy brain" finishes wearing off.
Hmm.
I used to scoff at biochemical explanations. I was sure that I chased euphoria because I was weak-willed and self-indulgent. I'm no longer quite so sure.
I have two main problems with abstaining: craving and compulsion. For me there is very little social pressure and not much in the way of habits. There is some desire to escape, but the larger problems are craving and compulsion. Based on my experience with altered biochemistry altering those two things drastically, I decided to declare myself a good candidate for TSM.
My naltrexone (NoDict, from River Pharmacy) is still in the mail. It should be here soon. In the meantime, I've started keeping a journal. Since humans aren't rats, it should help (or at least not hurt) for me to see what patterns emerge.
I'm a little concerned by the number of failure stories here. I would love to believe that TSM has an 80-90% chance of working for me, but it sure doesn't seem to work that reliably in real life. I realize that some people gave up, and that others don't count it because they combined TSM with something else, but it's still disturbing to read threads and see signatures which list months' worth of recordkeeping without showing a significant decrease.
I'm hoping to be a fast responder, since I already have AF days and in theory can rewire more quickly. I'm trying to be aware that I may not be, that the amount of bad wiring I have may take time to redo. I strongly suspect that the 3-4 months often cited is unrealistic for most.
My final goal is abstinence. I don't give a hoot about social drinking. That being the case, I think I'll blend "don't drink, but take naltexone if you do anyway" with a bit of planned drinking so that the pressure doesn't build up too high.
Ask me anything.

I want to get to know everyone.