I don't know, Ruthy. Why do you continue to drink? Your numbers show that you're doing fine, but why do it at all?

Yesterday evening I got a bit weirded out by the idea that I would never again be intoxicated, ever. Now, the next morning, I still don't quite know how to think about this.

I still drink because I still like it and because there are still habits and associations around alcohol that I'm slowly working through and breaking. My goal has never been abstinence but if I get to the point when alcohol no longer has any appeal at all then I'll happily give it up for good. I'm aiming for light weekend drinking...a glass of wine with dinner, or whilst having friends over...that type of thing.

That's the part that makes me so curious. I'm starting to wonder if the standard dose is actually too high for me -- if I'd have a more normal response on a lower-than-normal dose.

The only other poster here who has had my experience is sideeffect2, who also had nasty side effects from the standard dose. It makes me think.

It would be nice if I could still enjoy a drink or two. It's not required, and I'm totally prepared to give up alcohol, but it would be nice. I'm thinking of kicking my dose downward to see if alcohol becomes mildly enjoyable.

You are having success so you tamper with it?

The receptors are saturated or they arent. Id imagine there isnt any more effect once the proper dose is reached, lowering a dose merely allows reinforcement and hooks you back in.

You asked in another thread why people seemed to be having a problem quitting on nal. I think you found the answer - compliance with the program.

FWIW, good responders dont hang out here long id imagine. User android seemed to have the same experience, and mentioned most of his cure came in the first 3 pills. He is gone now. Im going to hang out probably for a month or two, but ill probably dissappear after that too.

What can I say? I'm incurably curious.



I'm not sure it's quite that simple. Many people who report success after several months don't have the initial "Ew, gross" effect that you and I experienced. I'd love to know what is up with people who experience success after a month or two instead of a week or two.

Wouldn't you like to know? It might help future people. It would also be just plain interesting to learn.

If i were to hazard a guess, id say their brain is more hardwired into the alcohol because of more consumption and over longer periods. You and i are both on the lightweight end of the drinking problem scale. I dont think you can go from 50, 75, or 100 units to "eww, gross" overnight.

Heh. Yeah Id probably screw with it too were i actually taking it.

Well, I screwed up my own experiment by not waiting an hour. So it turned out to be 25mg with no hour. Only 6.5 drinks, so not a bad night by my standards, but anyone can have a low-consumption night just as part of normal fluctuation, so I'm not reading too much into it.

I think my subconscious was up to some shenanigans, probably hoping to get a bit of euphoria before the nal kicked in. I'll have to keep a closer eye on that treacherous subconscious of mine.

I guess part of the reason I'm still exploring is that I don't think I experienced long-term success. It worked, sure, but would I really spend the rest of my life -- probably 40 years or so -- without ever experiencing euphoria from alcohol? If the pleasure is zero, that's the same as abstinence. I'm prepared for total abstinence, as I've said before, but I'm not sure I trust myself to keep it up for four decades. I've abstained before, for years in two cases, but I've never reached the decade mark.

Perhaps I should have called this thread "melissa1928's ludicrous experiments on herself."

You couldnt tell the difference? I could immediately tell 25mg wasnt going to work and i waited the full hour.

As far as abstinence goes, Im having a hard time feeling like i am abstaining, its more like indifference.

From free online dictionary:
The act or practice of refraining from indulging an appetite or desire, especially for alcoholic drink or sexual intercourse.

I, for the most part, have neither appetite nor desire for alcohol. How long can i keep it up for? I have no idea, but I can only live one day at a time. Am i giving up the buzz? Yeah, but, really, I immediately recognized it by its absence, and it irritated me that was all that was hooking me in. So I dont even know that i could experience alcohol the same after having taken nal. I think that I have learned how the magician does his tricks, so the show has become boring.

Sounds like you are grieving the loss of alcohol or are uncertain about letting it go.

I took 25mg the first time I took nal, as many people do, and the difference was quite glaring. It was, as we have dubbed it, the "ew, gross" experience. Second time at 25mg, less awful but still no fun. Third time, at 50mg, back to "ew, gross."

My first experiment at retreating to 25mg doesn't count, since I failed to wait the hour, but I definitely still felt the nal's effect. I felt it quite strongly.

This is why I'm baffled by the folks who take nal, who are apparently blocking all the receptors since they're making progress, but continue to enjoy alcohol. For Pete's sake, why? And how?

As I continue poking through old stories, I'm getting the impression that beer drinkers have the ew-gross and wine drinkers are more likely to continue drinking for taste and for social reasons. I have no good hypothesis on that yet, but give me a little longer to come up with one of my crazy theories.



Yeah, something like that. I'm okay with losing it if I must, but it is a loss, and I have to figure out how to deal with that if that's what I'm going to do.

Well it all comes down to what you want and what you think you are capable of.

I want to be an occassional social drinker.
I dont think im capable of being an occassional drinker.
I dont want to pay the price of taking nal.

Thats pretty much the sum of it for me. Then there are the benefits that i am enjoying.