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 Post subject: Re: Giving it another try
PostPosted: Sun Sep 29, 2013 2:44 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 10, 2013 6:40 pm
Posts: 54
christopher.hulsey wrote:
If it were legal, I ponder the following.

It is a pretty accepted fact that it really never works well, to try and substitute 1 drug for another. (Weed for beer, etc.) Experts preach that you will then become addicted to 2 drugs. Maybe so.

Perhaps. I never felt a draw from weed the way I do with alcohol, though, not even years ago when I used to smoke it. I enjoyed it quite a bit and smoked fairly regularly, but I never felt like I needed it and never got into a cycle of needing to get higher and higher each time the way I do with alcohol. A few puffs was always fine. So I've wondered the same thing, wondered if I could substitute weed for booze as a way to ween myself off alcohol. Never did try it, though. I'm too old for that! I'm a family man, I'd feel uncomfortable with weed in the house.

_________________
Months 1-2 (Avg pr wk): 21, 26
Months 3-8 (avg pr wk): 20, 18, 8, 13, 10, 12
Months 8-14 (avg pr wk): 14, 12, 13, 10, 11, 14
Months 15-20 (avg pr wk): 11, 11, 11, 10, 12, 17
Months 21-xx (avg pr wk): 9


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 Post subject: Re: Giving it another try
PostPosted: Mon Sep 30, 2013 10:51 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 05, 2011 1:23 am
Posts: 114
Location: USA
Week 0: 72 (before TSM)
Week 1-4: 63, 57, 69, 50
Week 5-8: 73, 43, 57, 56
Week 9-12: 47, 59, 55, 61.5

I was a big time weed smoker long before I got addicted to alcohol. I was definitely full-blown addicted to it, I couldn't go a day without it, I needed it to sleep, to eat, to enjoy anything in life. The main reason I started drinking was because I wasn't getting high anymore, but alcohol always seemed to work, I could always just have another drink and it would work, whereas smoking more and more was producing diminishing returns. Eventually after graduating college and getting a real job, I finally managed to quit smoking and that left me with alcohol alone. I've smoked on and off over the years but for the last year I've very rarely had possession of any. I've decided to avoid it for the time being since it's been nothing but bad news for me.

Lot of drinking last week. The long haul continues. Take the pill, drink the alcohol, lather rinse repeat. Waiting for my numbers to drop further and feeling a bit disappointed that it seems like this is going to take a very long time for me.


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 Post subject: Re: Giving it another try
PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 11:26 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 05, 2011 1:23 am
Posts: 114
Location: USA
Week 0: 72 (before TSM)
Week 1-4: 63, 57, 69, 50
Week 5-8: 73, 43, 57, 56
Week 9-12: 47, 59, 55, 61.5
Week 13-: 59

Unfortunately, on track to put up a big number for week 14. Averaged 10/day for the last 4 days.

I no longer feel the overwhelming need to drink. I am still doing it, though. Yesterday I bought liquor and ended up having 11 units before going to bed, while eating almost nothing between lunch and bedtime. Today was a nauseated nightmare for the most part...big surprise there. Deprogramming continues. Take the pill, drink the alcohol. I no longer feel like I care about drinking. I am looking forward to the day where my behavior actually reflects that attitude. Breaking the habit of nightly drinking is the hardest thing I've ever tried to do in my life. I read other people's threads where they talk about having multiple AF days in a week on a regular basis and it just amazes me. If I was staying sober more days than I was drinking, I'd consider myself 90% cured. Every night, I have to drink. I have to drink until it makes me fall asleep. Melatonin kind of works, functionally, but every night I feel the need to drink and drink until I am so intoxicated that I just pass out within a minute of getting into bed. Falling asleep like a normal person is just unacceptable. The day is not done until I am wasted and bedtime is the only option.


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 Post subject: Re: Giving it another try
PostPosted: Fri Oct 11, 2013 2:50 pm 
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Joined: Thu Oct 10, 2013 12:06 pm
Posts: 14
Don't know if this has been suggested before, but have you considered an Antabuse/Nal combination to improve your AF days for the time being? We all know that Antabuse will never really work for the long haul, but maybe it could be a supplemental tool?


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 Post subject: Re: Giving it another try
PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 11:52 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 05, 2011 1:23 am
Posts: 114
Location: USA
handsomebax wrote:
Don't know if this has been suggested before, but have you considered an Antabuse/Nal combination to improve your AF days for the time being? We all know that Antabuse will never really work for the long haul, but maybe it could be a supplemental tool?
I have no intention of ever taking antabuse. If I have to force myself not to drink by taking antabuse or other means, that means TSM is not working. And if I am taking antabuse, I am not taking naltrexone, because according to TSM, you only take naltrexone if you drink, and if you've been taking antabuse, you cannot drink. I would rather stick to the tried and true method of just taking naltrexone before I drink. If it takes a year, so be it. Forced sobriety is not a cure. It is just the postponement of a relapse.


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 Post subject: Re: Giving it another try
PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 8:36 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 05, 2011 1:23 am
Posts: 114
Location: USA
Week 0: 72 (before TSM)
Week 1-4: 63, 57, 69, 50
Week 5-8: 73, 43, 57, 56
Week 9-12: 47, 59, 55, 61.5
Week 13-: 59, 65.5

I am bumping my dose to 62.5 mg. I am definitely drinking through the blockade and when I reach that point it is enough reinforcement to keep doing it. I was seeing a general downward trend for the first eight weeks, but now the trajectory is moving back up to pre-TSM levels. Here's a different chart showing what I mean.

Image


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 Post subject: Re: Giving it another try
PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:54 am 
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Joined: Sat Jan 05, 2013 12:04 pm
Posts: 313
Location: Midwest, USA
Keep logging data Ives. I am closing in on 9 months. Down from 18 per day to averaging under 10. Down from 120 per week, closing in on 60 per week.

I'm with you on the repeating of the daily drinking. I'm only averaging 1 AF per week. I would agree with you, more AF days than drinking days would be about 90% cured for me also.

_________________
Start 1-19-2013 18/day 120/wk
MO-DailyAvg-AF
1-14-0
2-13-1
3-10-6
4-7-14
5-8-9
6-9-11
7-6-9
8-10-2
9-10-3
10-9-1
11-7-3
12-8-2
13-7-9
14-7-5
15-6?-8?


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 Post subject: Re: Giving it another try
PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:10 am 
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Joined: Fri May 10, 2013 6:40 pm
Posts: 54
Ives wrote:
Breaking the habit of nightly drinking is the hardest thing I've ever tried to do in my life. I read other people's threads where they talk about having multiple AF days in a week on a regular basis and it just amazes me.

You might consider doing something to shake up your routine, something that gets you out of your usual time and place when you'd normally be drinking. Go for a walk or to the library or volunteer somewhere or play Bingo or anything, really, as long as it breaks the routine. Even if it's just one night a week, you're being AF for that night, and maybe it will help you begin changing habits overall.

For me, I find that the habit part is what really needs to be broken. There are certain things I do where I always want to have a beer while doing it. Like, if I'm going to do yard work, it's just habit for me to open a beer while doing it. If I don't have that beer, I don't feel like doing the work. My relationship with drinking is changing, but if those habits aren't snapped I'll never get all the way there. I suspect it's the same for many of us, if not most of us.

_________________
Months 1-2 (Avg pr wk): 21, 26
Months 3-8 (avg pr wk): 20, 18, 8, 13, 10, 12
Months 8-14 (avg pr wk): 14, 12, 13, 10, 11, 14
Months 15-20 (avg pr wk): 11, 11, 11, 10, 12, 17
Months 21-xx (avg pr wk): 9


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 Post subject: Re: Giving it another try
PostPosted: Mon Oct 21, 2013 10:18 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 05, 2011 1:23 am
Posts: 114
Location: USA
Week 0: 72 (before TSM)
Week 1-4: 63, 57, 69, 50
Week 5-8: 73, 43, 57, 56
Week 9-12: 47, 59, 55, 61.5
Week 13-: 59, 65.5, 58

62.5 mg is perceptibly different than 50. The first night on the increased dose, I had 6 drinks, which was the lowest I'd had in a month. Averaged 7.7/day since then, whereas my running average for the seven days before was 9.2/day. Would've been lower had I not gone to a party on Saturday where a keg was on tap...it's easier to get out of control when you can just keep pouring glass after glass and not have to go dig out a bottle, open it, find a recycle bin, etc...not to mention when everyone else is doing the same thing.

coopersale wrote:
You might consider doing something to shake up your routine, something that gets you out of your usual time and place when you'd normally be drinking. Go for a walk or to the library or volunteer somewhere or play Bingo or anything, really, as long as it breaks the routine. Even if it's just one night a week, you're being AF for that night, and maybe it will help you begin changing habits overall.

For me, I find that the habit part is what really needs to be broken. There are certain things I do where I always want to have a beer while doing it. Like, if I'm going to do yard work, it's just habit for me to open a beer while doing it. If I don't have that beer, I don't feel like doing the work. My relationship with drinking is changing, but if those habits aren't snapped I'll never get all the way there. I suspect it's the same for many of us, if not most of us.

I have been going to the gym about 3 nights a week, which is great, and preceded my only AF day so far. But that was over a month ago. Even when I get out of the house for the evening, it's those last few hours between getting home at 8-9ish and getting to bed shortly after midnight that are getting me...I can drink a lot in those couple of hours. The good news is that the cravings are very quiet compared to pre-TSM; the bad news is that I'm still firmly locked into the habit of downing a half dozen beers before I feel like it's okay to try to go to sleep.

I'm dating actively again. I find it easy to skip drinking altogether or limit it to just one or two when I am on a date. This is a welcome change from dating a year ago, when I was typically half focused on the date and half focused on how I could drink as much as possible without raising eyebrows or getting into trouble. Of course, once I get home from the date, I end up making up the deficit before bedtime. I need a girlfriend, I've been single for almost all of 2013. Having someone who I am trying not to drink too much around would be a huge motivating factor right now. Spending nights away from my apartment, too.


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 Post subject: Re: Giving it another try
PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 9:56 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 05, 2011 1:23 am
Posts: 114
Location: USA
Very bad news, found out today that my younger brother has been in the hospital with alcohol withdrawals for 48 hours. I didn't even know he was an alcoholic, but of course, not surprised one bit to hear it. He's a fairly small guy and has apparently been drinking a whole bottle of liquor, about ~17 units, per day. Per pound of body weight that is double the highest rate of consumption I have ever reached in my life. I don't know the full story yet, but this can't have been going on for more than a few months, because that level of drinking would kill me. Half that level makes me feel like I'm dying. Hopefully he has not gone too far down the path of alcoholism rewiring his brain. I remember when I had only been drinking daily for about a year, I managed to quit a couple of times for several months with no assistance, but once I had been drinking for longer, I was trapped.

This will undoubtedly shine a spotlight on my own drinking habits. My family has no idea that I have a drinking problem. I have a successful career, no DUIs, never been in trouble with the law, never seen drinking more than 3 units when my family is around. On the surface you'd have no idea, but now that they've seen it happen with my brother, they'll be looking at me. We have tons of alcoholism in the family, including my father (abstinent for many years fortunately) and several relatives in my extended family on both sides. I'm pretty concerned about what's going to happen in the coming weeks. I can't even reveal TSM to them because not only do I not have a legitimate prescription, I am still drinking a lot, and I am still going to need a lot more time to reach my goal. Maybe I can get a chance to talk to my brother one on one and explain the situation to him. I am sure he would be a lot more receptive to TSM than the abstinence and AA meetings that are almost certainly going to be forced on him, but with my parents watching him like a hawk, he'll probably need to find a doctor to back him up.


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