Good morning! 44-year-old female from Mpls living in Sioux Falls, SD. Drinking has been a problem for me since around 2008 (age 38/39), about 2 years after gastric bypass surgery. Prior to that I overindulged in my teens and 20's when out with friends, occasionally had 1-2 many glasses of wine when out to dinner in my 30's, never drank at home, and never really thought about drinking other than to be careful not to drink too frequently, knowing that could lead to addiction. In 2007 started drinking on a more regular basis, following my husband's lead when he started drinking after many years of "non-drinking". This eventually turned to drinking at home and a bottle of wine each night. Have been trying to get it under control since about then. Over the years, drinking (though not tolerance) increased to 6-12 or more drinks per night. Inpatient tx once, Bio Recovery, aka Seven Weeks to Sobriety (some success but couldn't bring to tx so had to discontinue), lame attempts at using Kudzu, NAC. AA at least daily for 9 months. Greatest sobriety? 27 days while hubby was in treatment and we were in AA. Lots of stringing 4, 7, 10 days of sobriety mixed with a few days of drinking while in AA (more AF days than not). So while AA was "better than nothin'", it didn't fit for me.

I consider my alcohol problem a brain disease, an over-learned habit with a genetic and physiological problem. I don't drink cuz I hate myself or other characterological issues, because of a lack of relationship with a higher power, or because of unresolved resentments. But to say that in AA and to say what I really think would result in probably some eye-rolling and definitely some attempts to convince me otherwise. I have a rocky history that includes depression, hating myself, codependency, etc in my teens and 20's, but my drinking took over at the best time in my life, after lots of therapy and having reached a place of happiness, fulfillment, accomplishment, good self-esteem, love for myself and others, etc.

I am attending a Smart Recovery meeting weekly here in SF, and started TSM two nights ago. WOW!!! I was going to start Antabuse as my husband has had almost 4 weeks of GREAT success (has had no desire to drink since he started...the option has been "taken off the table"), but I decided to go the TSM route because Antabuse scares me and TSM makes sense (I am a psychologist and educated on brain physiology, learning, unlearning (extinction), etc., so it is more than just intuitive sense). Fortunately, our relationship has the strength to withstand at least one more "attempt" and he can sit there and watch me drink without a twinge of anything (other than annoyance with my drunk self).

My experience: Day 1: Took about 3/4 of 50 mg NAL (didn't have a pill cutter) and had a double one hour later with friend from work. She finished hers first (weird!). Had a bottle of wine waiting for me at home. Drank half a glass. Felt nausea, anxiety, and tired. Went to bed. I do not believe there has ever before been an unempty bottle of wine in my home in the last 5 years!!!
Day 2: Didn't really feel like drinking but also wanted to "get going with the experiment" so took NAL. 1 hour later commenced finishing the bottle of wine. The 4 glasses took 4.5 hours to consume! The first glass took 1 hour 20 min. Would have normally taken 20 minutes tops! Overall: I definitely notice the lack of "heeeeeeyyyyyy, this feels nice" from the drinks and the effect it has on my hand motions! At first I thought maybe I was paralyzed but then I reached for something other than the glass and was pleasantly surprised. hehe.

Anyhoo...I have read about the honeymoon period. We will see. So far, I am ecstatic, my husband is relieved, and my therapist is "cautious". I was going to start intensive outpatient tx next week but my new program is not really in-line with that. My new therapist, however, has treated from a harm reduction model so is okay with (and I think, very curious about) my plan.

Have to run. I look forward to meeting you all, hearing your journey, and continuing to share mine.

Peace!

Hi Lisa, and welcome aboard.
Sounds like you've had a great start to your journey with TSM. I'm in my 13th week now, and have cut my units from approx 60 per week to an avearage of 25 (that's UK units which are different to US). I can remember those first few heady days and weeks when I saw a drastic decrease in my desire to drink and my units started to decline. For many people it is a honeymoon period, but for a lucky few their numbers drop and stay low. There doesn't seem to be a way of telling who will fall into which catagory, but either way it seems likely that you'll see a big improvement in your drinking over time.
The side effects that I experienced were tiredness, weird vivid dreams and nausea. The nausea was the worst and kicked in after the first few days. I eventually cut down to 12.5mg and slowly increased the dose over a few weeks until I was at the 50mgs. I found taking an anti sickness tablet really helped.
It's good that you have your husband's support and that of an open minded therapist. I'm sure you've read the book, but if not it's worth getting a copy. There's lots of information on this board and lots to be gained from sharing with each other. I wish you all the best.
Nal on!
Ruth.

Welcome Lisa!

I feel just like you in terms of being happy other than this alcohol thing. And I totally agree with your statement "I consider my alcohol problem a brain disease, an over-learned habit with a genetic and physiological problem." I reject that this is a moral issue because I consider myself to be very moral and a good person.

It's unfortunate that it has turned into a moral issue or shameful thing because that's what makes some reluctant to admit to a problem.

Hear hear!

Thx for the welcome. I m doing great. No (more) side effects and drinking is at least cut in half! Will b posting more about my experience. Peace, friends!

Good on you Lisa for starting TSM! I started on 3rd of September this year. I must be in the "heavy weight" division of drinking as something like 60 units (Australian units which are a bit bigger than UK units but a bit smaller than US units) would be a great week for me! I was on between 100 to 140 units a week - nothing to be proud of either!

At first TSM worked great than slipped a bit and is now getting better again! I don't force Alcohol free day on myself, rather let them happen when they happen. That way I can see the natural progress. I now seem to have one day a week where I simply do not want alcohol - unbelievable!

By the way - keep up the NAC as it is very good for the liver. Also look into Milk Thistle.

This has been my approach and I'm very happy trying it this way. Lets me know all the results are real and not me forcing myself to drink less.