I am choosing to say I did OK on my test, not an "A", maybe a "C", but NOT an "F"!!

Caved, had 3 drinks, planned on 2, usually would have been around 5..........so still the work in progress, but progress is the key! Staying optimistic, and once again, I would not be back on this path without your support.

Oh and once again, feel pretty good this a.m.!

Nice job Queen.

I'd give myself an A+ for an AF day. An "A" for only 2, a B for 4 or less, a C for 6 or less, a D for staying under 12. An F when I start closing in on pre-TSM 18+. But thats my insane situation.

I'm giving you a B for units, and an A+ for sticking with us.

Thanks for the good grades Chris! This whole week has been a test since the husband is off of work and the daughter is out of the house babysitting.......I've done pretty good..(pats self on back) I did go all out last night and had 5 rum and cokes, but I kinda planned on it

More success! Last night I didn't want to drink, knew husband was going to. I didn't, even with all of the passive aggressive behavior going on around me (I ended up enjoying most of the evening away from it). It wasn't hard, I wasn't saying "I wish....", it just was....and it sort of felt familiar........A+!

Keep up the good work Queen. Boooooo Yahhhh! AF days really make you feel both awesome (NO HANGOVER), and proud of yourself the next day. Don't they?

Yes, those AF days are encouraging! And yes, I got more done in the day since I wasn't dragging last night's party with me throughout the day!

I did drink last night, but think the husband is going to start demanding I quit again, it's a vicious cycle that keeps my head spinning! At least I won't be white knuckling it!

Good job getting back on the Nal. You seem to be the type (like me) who find going AF (white knuckling it) impossible. So if your gonna drink why not have a Nal before hand. You've nothing to lose really. I can't understand how your huddy doesn't understand?

Yep, I don't handle the whole "forbidden fruit" very well, makes it more appealing!

I don't understand it either and I gave up trying, I'm just doing what I need to do for myself! It is hard not having support at home, but I'm finding it here and from within......I am determined that will sustain me!

I went to treatment for 45 days and remained abstinent for 8 months with AA and sheer willpower. Found out about this method while researching programs other than AA which might help my daughter who had relapsed after 6 months. She is 25. The more I read the more sense it made for her AND for me.

I do not want to go through the rest of my life always feeling punished. So I did my research and compiled a very extensive and detailed file. I presented husband with the book and the file and he scoffed at them both and refused to even look at the evidence. He told me if I started drinking again he would divorce me and that my non-alcoholic son and his new wife would disown me. I realized there was no point in asking for support from him and stopped trying to convince him. The books and the file are sitting on the dining room table should he ever want to surreptitiously take a peek.

Meanwhile I found a very reputable psychiatrist who believes in this method but says it is unlikely to work when family is hostile. He did prescribe the Naltrexone for me anyway and I had it filled. Husband is a workaholic and works past 9 on many nights. He also takes several trips a year with his brothers and/or friends to golf.

So I am taking my naltrexone on nights he is gone and while he vacations with "the guys". It has only been two weeks since relapse but I have only has 6 glasses of wine (3 naltrexone) since. My speed of consumption is way down and if I wasn't going for the extinction factor and resultant peace of mind I probably wouldn't even be trying this. My end goal is to have a choice around the holidays, on vacation, lunch with girls and with a nice meal without always feeling the urgency of wanting more and counting the minutes till it seems reasonable to get a refill. Any alcoholic or heavy drinker knows that feeling.

So I am sort of controlling in addition to taking the naltrexone and I am happy with this strategy so far. I am planning to do this for a couple of months and then telling him I have been doing it without his permission and behind his back and now am going to order wine at dinner, etc. Of course my non-alcoholic husband has given up all alcohol in solidarity with me.
I am not exactly bowled over by his apparent selflessness in giving up something he could care less about.

I figure if I can pull off the controlling with gradual extinction and manage to behave myself for the most part I will FINALLY BE ABLE TO RID MYSELF OF THIS HORRIBLE OBSESSION. You see I can be abstinent but I am always either thinking about everyone else drinking and why I can't drink. I hate it.

So wish me luck. I am going forward with a sort of moderate Sinclair Method Relapse type thing. I will keep you posted on my journey.

Husband prefers me abstinent and doesn't care if I have obsessive thinking as long as I never act on it. Fun, huh? Such an understanding and empathetic guy. Stay tuned! Janet

Hey Queen and Janet,
Glad to see that you're both finding a way to do TSM even if your husbands don't understand and put up roadblocks in your path towards sucess. As if life isn't hard enough! You'd really expect that they'd be on your side, but they obviously don't get this method. As time goes on, your progress will speak for itself.
Janet you say....



The problem with this way of thinking is that it doesn't allow for the Alcohol Deprivation Effect. It's know that when people have been abstinent (white knuckling or not) the craving builds and builds because those receptors in the brain are sending out messages saying give me booze...I need the endorphin rush. Eskapa explains it in his book. It's not just a lack of willpower, it's a physiological reaction. Then when you finally cave, the feeling is so strong that it inevitably leads to a major blowout. That's why abstinence without extinction rarely works.

Janet you said...


I can tell you that this is my end goal too and 13 weeks in I'm feeling much closer to reaching that goal. In fact, that is what happens for me now when I'm out on social occassions...I've become a "normal" drink. Hooray! It can be done...extinction does work.

Good luck to you both.

Ruth.