Thanks Babs. I have said goodbye on your thread, but just want to say that I appreciate the time you've spent on here. I've enjoyed "talking" with you and your insights have been really helpful. Good luck...I really hope everything works out well for you.

Week 7 Update

Week 6 had been a bit disappointing, with the ending of the honeymoon period and a spike in units. Unfortunately, week 7 started out much the same. Thursday to Sunday I was definately wanting a drink and the "aahh" feeling of the first few sips had returned. I was getting a bit fed up to be honest and starting to question whether this was going to work, as the experience of drinking felt much the same as before starting TSM. Even though I've read lots of information on here about spikes in drinking and I've read through countless threads where people have experienced the same thing, I still wasn't fully prepared when it happened to me. When the Nal kicked in initially and I wasn't finishing drinks it was hard to describe the feeling. It was odd but good and yet it felt kinda weird. This last week felt like that in reverse. Nothing had changed (I was still taking it one hour before) and yet somehow the old patterns had returned and that too felt weird. It was like the good bit in the middle, when I was passing up drinks easily and forgetting about wine o'clock, hadn't really happened. And then something else weird happened...

I was out all day shopping on Monday. I hadn't had lunch and by 5 o'clock (my usual wine time) I realised I was starving. I decided to sit in a cafe at the shopping centre and have something to eat. They don't sell alcohol, so I had a sandwich and a cup of tea. That served as both lunch and dinner so that when I got home I didn't have anything else to eat. I also didn't drink. Wine o'clock had come and gone and I'd let it go. No drama, no anxiety...nothing much of anything really. It was really ok. I knew I hadn't had a drink, but it felt ok not to. My first AF day had crept up on me and taken me by surprise!!

I'm not planning to add in AF days yet, and I don't suppose they'll be another one for a while. I've written on other threads that my understanding is that alcohol is needed for extinction. I feel that somewhere further down the line my body/brain will tell me when that time is right. However, it was really suprising that one had snuck in. The most important thing about it was that it let me see that it was ok and that I could manage it relatively easily. Also, I was very interested to note that it was the change in my routine that had allowed it to happen. If I'd been at home cooking dinner as usual, I'm certain I would have had a drink or two. When the time is right I will definately have to alter my habits and routines.

So, a bit of a mixed week but ending by feeling much more positive. I'm off on holiday tomorrow for a week in the sun. The couple we're going with are big drinkers...it will be cocktails by the pool and drinks all evening. However, I'm not worried. I'm sure it will be fine. I'll be drinking some for sure, but not as much as before. I'm becoming much more confident that I can drink less but still enjoy myself, and cope with people around me who are drunk (and annoying!!).

Total UK units for the week: 30

"Also, I was very interested to note that it was the change in my routine that had allowed it to happen. If I'd been at home cooking dinner as usual, I'm certain I would have had a drink or two. When the time is right I will definately have to alter my habits and routines."

Ruthie, this is absolutely what is going to have to happen for me too! A change in habits during the time I would normally drink is going to be key. Good for you that this happened - I'm so happy for you!

I told my girlfriend about this pill, someone who knows I've had issues and she has volunteered to take up my drinking time, but I still have to reach out and that's always been tough for me - I'm an isolator like most alcoholics.

I love your posts, you are helping me and I'm sure many others.

M.

Ruthie,

That's fantastic that your AF day snuck in on you. I hope to be so lucky and not turn away and go on auto-drinking-pilot when it does.

Have a great vacation - you're well-prepared to have your cake and eat it, too, all in the name of that eventual, elusive extinction.

Take care.
Sheryl

Ruthie,

Yay for the AF that snuck in! They happen and I'll take them when they do.

Patterns and habits, when interrupted, give me a fleeting moment to make a decision not to drink (I don't decide that all the time ) but it seems to interrupt AB and when he's busy trying to figure something out I get an opportunity to make a healthy choice.

Rich

Weeks 8 and 9 update

Well I'm back from my holiday having had a great time and am busy catching up with all the new posts on here. Sounds like you're all doing well.

I have to admit that the week that I was away I let things slip a bit. I started out recording my units but that tailed off towards the end of the week and I had 3 occassions when I didnt wait the full hour before I started to drink. Not good, but not a complete disaster either so I'm trying not to beat myself up about it. My alcohol intake was higher than it would have been at home, but much less than it would normally have been on holiday. I'm not sure whether it was the heat, the Nal or just not really liking the Cypriot wines, but I didn't really drink much vino. I'd have a glass (max 2) with my meal but really didn't drink much of it at other times. A few glasses by the pool but nothing major. I did think about switching to vodka and coke just so that I had a drink that I liked, but I let the thought go which I was pleased with. The couple we were on holiday with bought a bottle of Baileys for for us to share at the villa and I have to say I really did like drinking it. However, once it was gone I resisited buying any more so I gave myself a big pat on the back for that.
There were a couple of things I really noticed about the holiday and drinking:
I can have a good time without getting drunk (yay!)
It is possible to lay by the pool and drink Orange Juice
My friend drinks like a fish and doesn't even seem to realise it

So I was pleased with my drinking levels while I was away, but since I've been back I've been a bit down.I think there's a bit of post holiday blues going on...back to the daily grind with nothing exciting on the horizon to look forward to. But I think I've also been letting the whole TSM thing get to me a bit. Barryb's farewell post with his message of (basically) just bloody stop drinking which was backed up by BuenaVista and Do The Work put me in a bit of a spin and I've found myself questioning the method, my interpretation of it and whether I'm doing it right. It's been going round and round in my head, which is never good, and I've found that it's really been getting to me. Why can't I just stop then? What am I doing wrong? Why is my progress not as quick? Am I drinking through the Nal...missing the subtle signs? 9 times out of 10 I'm drinking because I still want/need to but in the early honeymoon period that had reduced considerbly. Have I missed the boat...should I have stopped then and forgotten about extinction? What do I even want out of this? This has been getting me down and what do I do when I'm down? Yes, of course "hello my old friend Sauvignon Blanc". Bummer.

I need to figure all this out and intend to over the next few days. The kids are now back to school and college after the long summer holiday so I have more time to read through posts on here and re read Dr. Eskapa's book. I don't intend on giving up. I'm sure this is the right method for me. I just want to get back to the happy and hopeful place I was in a week or so ago.

As I haven't kept track of my units for these two weeks I'm going to just have to put a big fat ?

Onwards and upwards

Ruthy,

I was bummed too with both Barry and BV were cured and left, I question myself as well. BV started this one week before me and is now cured... me, nope. But the book says it takes months typcially so I don't think we missed anything, I think it just worked differently for him. Not sure how long Barry was working on this but I think it was longer than 3 weeks.

It's good that you are talking about these feelings, it's great that you noticed that your friend drinking too much isn't the best thing for her and it's even better that you realized you can drink virgin drinks on holiday and still enjoy yourself! I imagine you even got more out of your holiday since you didn't wake up with hangovers! Yeah for you!!!!

I suppose my advice right now for you is to stop looking at how others are or are not progressing and stick to the tsm road - don't over think what's happening - just nal + 1 hour before any drinking and let it slowly work for you: kiss = keep it simple silly! That silly is actually 'stupid' but don't wanna offend you

I, like it sounds you, have to find joy in real life outside of holidays and major activities besides drinking - you can do this just keep staying the nal course and posting.

You have it in you!

Marianne

Hey Ruthy,

Your numbers look good to me. I'm about to start my second round with TSM. I had good success with it last year. My units halved after a few weeks but I struggled to get them right down. (I was shooting for abstinence)

Looking back, I was doing great. 30-40 units a week is in my book in the safe zone. At the moment this is what I want to get back to. I'm at 100+ a week lately.

A few points I'd make...

Try not to (this is very important) mess with the protocol of waiting one hour before EVERY SINGLE DOSE. Its very important. Last Christmas I started skipping doses and backslide in a matter of weeks and gave up.

Also. Try not to over think things. Last time out I was never off of here. Imo its not good. You become obsessed with the whole thing. Do your own thing. Everyones process is different. From what I've read your units have more or less halved. Thats not bad gong and a good place to kick off from.

Marianne,
Thank you for your encouragement. You're right. I just need to focus on my own progress and not anyone elses.I like the kiss advice!
Thomas,
Thanks for chipping in and for the reminder about sticking with the protocol. Before my holiday, I always stuck to the one hour rule religiously but I can see that's it's easy to let that slide. And yes, you're right, I must try not to let it take over my thoughts...it does get a bit obsessive at times! Good luck to you for your second time around. I hope it works out well for you.

I am feeling a lot more positive about the whole process now. I really musn't let other people's progress or opinions get to me. I do know that I'm doing it right and that it just takes time. I've re-read the book which was helpful and I've read back through this progress thread, which made me realise that I am actually doing quite well. I'm very optimistic that this will be a better week. Back on track and feeling good!

Week 10 update.

I'm pleased to say that I've had a good week, with my total being a respectable 24 UK units. The UK government health advice for safe drinking limits for women says a max of 18 units per week...I'm happy that I'm so much closer to that than when I started. I've noticed that I no longer need to drink but quite often I still want to drink. That's quite a change. Although there's still a long road ahead I feel much more positive about my final destination.

I've often asked myself why do I keep repeating the same old harmful or destructive patterns and I'll tell myself the Maya Angelou "when you know better you do better" line. Today I read this poem and it really resonated with me especially in relation to my drinking. I feel like I'm at chapter 3 and I'm so looking forward to being at chapter 5.

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson

Chapter 1
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost...I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in...it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5
I walk down another street.