Impressed that you spit the wine out, that's usually called alcohol abuse but in this case - way to go!

Sorry to hear about your son being so far away, that's gotta be tough and being that I've never been away from my son for more than a summer I cannot relate except to say that the more sobar you are the more of a chance you can be there for him even if it's Skype/phone calls.

Your ex sounds like a monster, don't let her have your energy.

You walked to get back to your house from the mechanic, again I'm very impressed! That usually is a place where I would have found the nearest place that has a liquer license and done my thing - making 'friends' and getting a ride home. Good for you!

Although this is only day 2 for me I have also noticed a difference in my taste for good food - and I've noticed that I'm horribly thirsty in the morning which doesn't add up b/c I'm drinking so much less - who knows.

BV Keep up the great work and thanks for posting.

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I think both of you are going to have to go through a period of real mourning if you are going to be successful in quitting the dysfunctional drinking. I think for BV, alcohol has been a big part of what sounds like an exciting, sophisticated life that very few people actually get to experience -- money, women, power, and all that. Probably for both of you alcohol has been like a friend to help you through what also sounds like more drama and tragedy than the average person experiences. With TSM, you're both trying to slowly (or quickly) kill this friend. This death will likely result in some real negatives -- fewer "highs" in life, sleep problems, obsessive thoughts, maybe less exciting experiences with food or sex. So, there is this bit of sadness to the whole endeavor -- can't live with it, can't live without it.

When I was a kid, I remember fantasizing about brownies and how great it would be if brownies were health food and we could eat all we wanted, every day. It seemed sort of unfair for the universe to set things up to where the best tasting stuff was the worst for you. Of course, I applied this to alcohol as I got older. Why, I though, can't I get this thrill and pleasure from alcohol without all the immediate and future problems? Maybe there are drugs out there like that, but it seems to me like all the drugs that get you "high" also lead to terrible consequences (especially meth -- big around these parts).

Anyway, I think you both have a lot in common in your attachments to alcohol. Like the book title -- "Alcohol: A Love Story."

Barry, I agree but am not happy about that reality. One of my last rehabs I couldn't believe how I was acting out, it so wasn't like me and it scared me that I have such a monster inside me. Didn't help that I got there (myself) after downing a bottle of Tuaca (yuck) on the drive but once sobor and drugged I cried like a stupid child and refused to stand in line for medicine - I actually told them I wanted it delivered to my room. That's not who I am and it scares me that that came out.

I think for me I will need some serious inner life coaching along with obstaining and will be looking into that.

I never understood meth but do understand getting a high - feel sorry for folks that go that route.

I guess I'll just try to continue and understand that there will be uncomfortable feelings I have to figure out how to deal with.

As always, thanks for the guidance.

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No, I didn't suggest reading that book -- I just like the title. Never read it.

By the way, you're weirder than I thought if you didn't like "The Last Samurai." I pretty much will watch anything Tom Cruise or Leonardo de Caprio are in, even bad ones like Jack Reacher.

Anyway, so I've been married 20+ years and, of course, your stories of hot romance and such are very exciting to me. I have a very kind, friendly, intelligent, stable, and UN-romantic wife, and I'm more of the subdued playboy type (who works with almost all women, many of them smoking hot nurses). I have what people call "divorce fantasies" wherein I envision what life would be like finally able to pursue other women, charm them, bed them, etc... Looking back with your great wisdom, would you have preferred to stay married, even if it meant less (or no) such action?

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You guys are so funny and predictable!

Barry, stick with your loving wife and just take those fantasies to bed with her - get a marriage counselor if necessary, I'm sure she's doing the same but doesn't want to admit to it! If she has a pulse .... she's looking at eye candy believe me!

BV I'm sorry about the break-up but glad you have beautiful kids outa it and they are loved all around. You said you're gf doesn't know about your drinking issues - maybe I'm stepping too far in here but if you're looking for a long-term relationship with her I think she'd appreciate you telling the truth straight up front - she might surprise you and appreciate your vulnerabilites and truth. Tell me to go to hell if you'd like and I'll step back.

Watched the 80's movie 'clean and sober' last night - cheezy but whatev. I too hate tomcat mostly b/c of his wierd religion (imo) but he has been talented in some films.

Anyway, thought I'd stick my nose in to a guy chat ---- I'll back off now.

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