Yeah, and it's not linear either so give yourself a break - ups and downs are typical.

There is a great deal of effort required to beat this addiction of ours but we are not capable to expending it 24/7. Some days go well and others we just sort of slip back a bit. I find when the weather agrees with me I'm able to do wonders, but if it's hot and humid I slump...each to her own.

Good for you that you are giving the Prozac a miss. All the extra crap sure messes with your body never mind your head eh? You are so fortunate to have a doc on your side who seems to know the score too! Have a great weekend.

Hi Writeratlarge,

I think antidepressants can be of great help, but if you have to get used to them, they kind of mess with your hormones and body. Because of anxiety, I took them for six months in the last year. In my case, the Zoloft did not help at all, and interacted with the alcohol in a very weird way. I spoke to a psychologist for some time and that helped me, so I withdrawed very slow in 3 months from the Zoloft.

With antidepressants, I can only recommend you have to let your body get used to them slowly and also withdraw slowly.

Ugh, I had written an update then lost battery power.

This last week was a bit of a detour, because while the Prozac started working within days, I also was very aware that the subtle indifference to drinking I had just started to feel with Nal was waning. To the point where I ended up in double digits heading into the weekend.

Week 5: 7,6,7,11,15,13, 5

Just no off switch those days whatsoever. And then horrendous hang/Nalovers that only extended the cycle. So it was a very classic alcoholic lost 3-day weekend, and then by Sun. I was feeling the effect of the Nal again (stopped the Prozac after my visit with my Dr. - it had only been 20mg for 7 days) and got back down to 1 bottle of wine.

Today, no hangover, but my body was just wrung out, so again, not the most productive day. But didn't drink all day either, and didn't take my Nal till 6pm. My body is still withdrawing from my binge, racing heartrate off and on, sweating, a bit jittery earlier today, and I almost feel like I need to feed the beast a little. Probably sounds like classic alcoholic talk but I still believe a gradual decrease is the way to go.

I'm not going to make any progress in other areas of my life that also demand a change of course until I get this alcohol in line, so the sooner the better.

I've decided to attempt a few AF days by the end of the month.
For this week, the goal is 5 or less units per day.

Hi Writer,
I'm wondering if it could be a week 5 thing? My fifth week started last Thursday and it was a bit of a bummer too. Like you, I'd been feeling indifferent towards alcohol and was drinking less and feeling full of confidence. Come week 5 that just disappeared! For a few days the off switch was back to on and it took me by surprise. From reading on here, I think it's fairly common and nothing to be worried about but it's still a bit disappointing. The book does remind us to be patient and stresses 3 to 4 months minimum but it's only human to hope for a quicker result.
I'm glad to read that the Nal has kicked back in and your switch is returning to the off position. AF days sound like a good idea. You'll get there.

Ruth.

Writer,
Ignore my week 5 idea as posted above....just realised I'm on week 6!! Alcohol has affected my brain more than I thought...can't count anymore
Still, the sentiment is the same.
Ruth.

Hi Ruthy,

Thanks for the sentiments. Yes, my Dr. reinforced that having a great week - 40 for me in wk 4 - doesn't mean the numbers won't go up and down, as this is what happened in the studies with people, esp. in the early weeks, then the more dramatic progress 4-6 months down the road. He's been very encouraging in that regard. Still, it's tough to be patient, though I know it's the only way.

Yesterday was good, kept to 1 bottle with no major effort. Going to force myself out for a bike ride today. Determined this week will be much better than last.

Thanks for your support, everyone.

Do hang in there an increase in drinking is normal and part of the process, just keep taking the nal 1 hour before.

I also think the 3-4 month timescale is very optimistic. I was a fast responder and although my units did halve I didn't get to the point where I felt free of cravings until around the 6 month mark.

A few enforced AF days will be great and I think speed the process along/definitely helps you improve control.

UKB,
Thanks for that...it's good to know. I am finding that although my units are coming down and I don't always finish the drink I've poured, the initial "wine time" voice is still there and strong.

Yesterday I got home from an exhausting bikeride about 5:45pm. And although it was an easy cruise with no hills, I had to stop every 15 min. to let my hearbeat go down and drink water. Of course I had procrastinated till the hottest part of a 90+ degree day - so effing hot.

Took Nal about 6pm. Not really sure if I'd drink or not, but wanting to be on the safe side since I hadn't planned on it being an AF day.

And then, one shocking thing after another.

I wasn't eyeing the clock for the hour to pass. 7pm came and went.

I got busy cleaning up the dishes, reading, writing, showering, and it was 9pm before I even thought about dinner.

While preparing a salad topped with avocado, mandarin oranges, dried cranberries, feta, almonds, and a bit of leftover tenderloin, I didn't start drinking wine, in fact I was still thirsty from my workout, and guzzling water.

When I did get ready to pour wine, I actually thought it through. And although I didn't crave it, I know my body is still slowly detoxing; the night before I didn't sleep well at all and had serious twitches in my legs. Plus my heartrate was still noticeably elevated, So I decided to have 2 or 3 glasses.

After I poured the wine, I added a glass of ice water on the side because I was still thirsty. I didn't touch that first glass of wine until I had polished off my salad and finished the water; a technique I'm going to make a habit.

Then I started re-watching the last 2 episodes of Breaking Bad from Season 2, which I wanted to see before watching the Season 3 premiere from last Sunday night. That first glass lasted through all 48 minutes. It didn't taste great or bad - just kind of neutral. Not much of a buzz at all, a little relaxing, not revolting. I wasn't driven to have a second glass other than I had one more episode to watch, wasn't at all sleepy, and my heartbeat was still not entirely calmed down. I took a couple of tryptophan and Nightrest (Magnesium/melatonin et al) in preparation for bedtime. And watched the next episode, sipping the 2nd glass for 48 minutes.

Now, normally, I would have poured a third glass and settled in to watch the Season 3 premiere, but I looked at my watch, it was a little after 11, and I thought, hmmm, why not just go to bed, like I had planned. And that's what I did.

For me that's huge progress; my first 2-unit day since since starting TSM, and a welcome rebound from the spikes last week during my Prozac experiment, which had left me pretty deflated for a few days.

Thank you all for your encouragement! Thank you Drs. Sinclair, Eskapa, and Whiting!

That sounds like excellent progress. I backslid a bit today, worrying interspersed with doing, and not enough exercise (although I did spend quite a bit of time going up and down stairs carrying things to set up my mother's new quarters).

It sounds as if your bike ride was a key part of your good day, as well as your paying attention to what your body actually wants--water and food. UKBlonde also emphasized exercise as a crucial part of recovery.

Very glad to hear you had a better day. Mine was a bit worse, but not terrible.