Hi Cindy and Marianne - yes, you are so right about finding things to do!! When I think of all the hours, days, weeks....I spent drinking for so many years - it's scary

I'm trying too for a clean, tidy, shiny, uncluttered house. And now that I've got the habit I'm a real housekeeping nut!! After so many years of low energy and feeling simply overwhelmed it feels good to CARE again

If anyone is interested in a way to get started you might look up Fly Lady. It's free and has lots of great ideas of how to do things one baby step at a time. It got me started and has been a fun way to keep going. (They do sell things on the site but ALL the ideas on how to clean, and schedule, and plan for cleaning, and all their tips etc. are FREE. And I'm not connected with them in any way, I'm just passing on the idea)
Babs

Cindy, thank you! It's just so helpful to know that I'm not alone with these feelings. I don't want to continue this way but I don't know anything else. My new primary care physician told me she's 'in my corner' but then all I got was blood test results saying I have liver damage and should take 200 mg of melatonine (sp?) - that's a 'normal' person 'in my corner' - whatever.

Going through the house is a good idea - can't imagine what's in the attic - and I'm sure I'll get some surprises as my cleaning is mostly once I get my 'alcoholic energy'. I usually do what I call 'commercial cleaning' on the weekends - translates to cleaning during commercials while downing vast amounts of vodka and selter - don't tell anyone

Anyway, it's Friday, no rx yet, getting a new boat today and I'm sure that's not gonna help me with abstaining but I now have a light thanks to you'all.

Marianne in Maryland.

I think I meant magnezium - im in a fog.....

Hi Marianne. You can also take some other stuff for liver. Google it and I think Milk Thistle is one of them. I don't know how effective natural remedies are but they sure can't hurt.

Can you make a bit of a plan for the weekend? Like drinking a glass of water between "real" drinks? Or maybe ice tea? Anything to break the pattern. Are you eating well? Make sure you eat enough meat. Very important as protein (and fat, like the fat on the pork chop, or the skin on the chicken or some extra bacon with your eggs) will help you feel full and you may not want to drink as much on a full tummy. I always find if I'm hungry and thirsty I crave a drink more. That's one thing that AA says that's good!! Don't get hungry or thirsty!!

And having your primary care doc on your side is important even though she is not doing anything directly to help you through this tough time. My doctor didn't believe me when I told him I was an alcoholic. He's an idiot - just because I look fine and don't show any of the cliche signs of being a drunk he couldn't imagine I'd been an alcoholic for years - so he would not even listen about naltrexone. I didn't feel like pressing the issue because it was embarrassing enough to even bring it up. At least your doctor understood what you were saying.

Have a great Friday
Babs

Thanks Babs.

Yes, your doc was/is an idiot! sorry for you on that but glad you found a way to move forward. Yes, I remember AA saying not to get hungry or thirsty - thanks for the reminder and no I'm not eating right but started to change that last Wednesday - so far - meh...

Plan for the weekend... ummm right now it's 'hold on until 11 so I can drink' - pathetic - I'm gona try to wait until 1 at least. I can't wait to get this rx - I'm so ready to fix me.

Wish we could all meet in person but this forum is a blessing to me.

M

Hi Marianne,

Sorry to hear what happened before you came onto this forum, sometimes it takes low points to realize that a change is needed... For myself, I am glad that I found this website before I will lose energy to enjoy my hobbies and do nice things. One of the things which I am most afraid about is the being alone. I am fine being alone when drinking, but I just bought a house and live alone for the first time, which is a lot of getting used too.

Also, when I am going to bed, I am afraid not to sleep, so I drink to sleep. I just got a tip which might be usefull when you have problems sleeping; take 25 mg of Nal before starting drinking in the day and take 25 mg again before sleeping, as your Nal will still work through the night then and it won't take away the effects of the missing buzz.

OMG I can't believe this - it's like a miracle pill!!!!! Took it for the first time last night (quarter of the pill) and had my first vodka at 5, I felt it a little but by my second drink I felt like someone had disconnected my brain from my body. My speach and movement weren't perfect but my brain was normal (for me anyway). It was the strangest feeling ever. I'm surprised I didn't get angry actually b/c I look forward to my 'alcohol energy' and that wasn't there. But I didn't care. This is amazing to me.

The down-side... after three weak (for me) drinks I forced myself to go to bed around 8:30 b/c it wasn't fun anymore and straight away I started to see wierd things, then the sweat kicked in and my dreams - omg - the scariest and most vivid dreams I've ever had! I wonder if I normally dream like that but just can't 'see' them - hum. In one dream I was stopped by the police and my purse was searched, they came across the nal and brought in the drug dogs to sniff around - that was the end of that snapshot. Well, coming into work I go through a checkpoint and the cop actually stopped me and asked me to take my shades off - that's never happened - don't know if it's connected but makes me go hum.... I did have to jump from bed to guest bed trying to sleep - tossed and turned all night but I suppose if I'm dreaming, I must be sleeping. This morning my body clearly hates me and wants the worst for me but my mind is kinda clear - don't remember ever waking up with a clear head.

The up-side... I have hope! I turn 45 on the 17th and for the first time in my life I actually have hope. This monster is going to go down. I did get the anti-nausia drug but don't feel that I need it - fingers crossed.

Thank you again everyone for your prayers and know that they are coming back out to you!

Marianne