Same experience!

Well, yesterday, I made no plans to drink or not to drink. The afternoon came when I "normally" would take my Nal and get something to drink for when the hour wait was up, but I never felt like drinking. So, I didn't. I had an unplanned AF day!

I still don't understand this gloomy mood that has descended on me. It probably has nothing to do with the Nal and since I'm manic, I don't know how to cope with these feelings. I know alcohol would only make it worse, so I immediately dismissed that thought yesterday. Doing nothing didn't improve my mood. I need to get out and DO something.

Maybe I'll "paint the lawn" or "mow the house" today.

Another day today with no alcohol plans, one way or the other.

Bob

PS I love the new insights we are getting from our newer members like jim and mciws.

congrats Bob!

You are on the right way!!

Honestly what annoyed you the most about alcohol?

-the need to take it (you have AF days now!)
-the body damage (you are very close to the as safe considered units !)


It gives me great hope to see you on the right path. Please keep on!!

Actually, alcohol interferes with my mental illness meds. I must stop. Completely. Safe units for me are zero. I wish it weren't so, but it is what it is. TSM is my only hope.

I truly appreciate the support!

Today, I was exposed to two triggers... (1) Mowing the lawn and (2) Emergency at work. The second one was easy... it happens all the time and is intellectually engaging, which I enjoy. The dullness of 2 hours of mowing, which I normally despise, was somewhat relaxing... I cannot explain. After I was done with mowing, I got the emergency call and that set off the chain of events where I felt I must drink. I took my Nal and imbibed and didn't enjoy ANY of those 5/6 drinks. I am getting to hate drinks... the taste, the feeling, everything.

Anyway, that's where I am now. "3 sheets to the wind" and miserable.

Bob

Hi Bob,

I understand your point. You are taking Benzodiazepine right?

Combination with alcohol is not really something you would want to do - as you pointed out.

All the best for you!

In Florida, at 1PM in late May, it get's quite hot. So, I used to "reward" myself with a cool stiff drink after mowing my boring 2 acres (with my leather cowboy hat and boots on and my John Deere lawn tractor - you were so close to the right image)! After years of "mow and reward" (this is sounding sillier as I read it), it had become a drinking trigger, one that I had forgotten about. So, I guess I'll plan a Nal session for the next few mows.

Tonight, I've already taken my Nal. I am hoping for the ability soon to be able to limit my drinks to fewer drinks per session (4 would be nice for a while). I guess, from looking at other's experiences, I'm still a month or so away from that ability. I tried yesterday to limit myself to 2 units, but I was utterly unable to control my intake. I did stop at 6, my traditional stopping point. Tonight I'm guessing 5 or 6 will be the total.

Bob

PS If I had to choose between mowing 2 more acres and death, it would be a tough choice

It was great when I didn't care. Valium and alcohol sends you into the stratosphere, if it doesn't send you to the grave first. I've got the dosage low enough now, that it would be difficult to accidently kill myself. If I overdrink now, I simply fall asleep and since I don't drink liquor or wine, the alcohol intake rises quite slowly. Accidental suicides happen often by taking a higher amount of Benzos (prescribed or otherwise) and drinking hard liquor or binging on wine or beer too fast for for the sleep response to set in first. People caught in this unfortunate trap, experience cessation of breathing or heart function. With me, cessation of breathing occurs first based on a close call a few years ago.

Anyway, I am still looking forward to that zero units per day, one day.

Bob

Bob, you sound good from your last post. Love the comedy, keep it coming! Are you a transplant to Florida? Just wondering with the cowboy hat, etc.

maybe u guys can help me here. I have been taking oxazepam for about 6 months, but not every day. I was given them at first to help me go AF, and I had a lot left, so i have been using them on and off for anxiety and sleeplesness. I didnt realise they were atall addictive and also could be bad with AL. So I continued to take them when I went back on AL, not as often, but very often after a drink to help me sleep, or if i wake up in the middle of the night.

Now I cant sleep without them. I have just realised I am addicted, if I dont take a tablet before I go to sleep, i wake up at 3-4 am with terrible anxiety and have to take one.

I have just looked up the dosage on the web, and the dose I am on, is far too high. I was told to take 10mg whenever anxious 25mg at tea time and then 50mg aft bed time. From what I have read that is far too high, and it is probably not surprising that now i am trying not to go from 50 mg to nothing. I not struggling sleeping cos now i am drinking, but i am waking in the middle of the night with terrible anxiety, now i take 25mg at this time and eventually get some sleep.

Maybe i shoudl take it before i go to sleep and taper it down, ie 40mg for two weeks then 30mg, etc.

However how will that "hinder" my TSM progres. Very confusing.

Any advice would be very helpful.

soberwithin - you'll have to ask your doctor about a schedule for withdrawal. Benzo withdrawal can take a long long time. I am at the lowest level where I can still function in the outside world - 10mg Valium per day. If I go lower, I am too hyperactive to accomplish anything and I can't focus. The extinction will eventually work for us too, but it may take many months I believe.

Yesterday, I had another AF day out of the blue. yes, they are getting easier now. It would be nice to have at least 1 or 2 per week to break my daily habit. That would be an accomplishment in itself.

Bob

Bob, congrats on your AF day. I still don't manage to do that as I'd like. Also congrats on your decision to 'stay the course,' even tho it may take you longer than others (or not). It seems from your AF days that you are getting at least as much progress as most of the rest of us.