My postings are getting farther apart now and I guess it is because I do not have a lot to add to the community. As for me I have not taken Nal for the last few times that I have had a beer or wine. I continue to only drink with meals and only at home so far. I did notice that this weekend I felt a little funny after drinking only a beer and a couple of cordial glasses of port. The feeling was not as nauseous as with the Nal but still a little odd. I also wanted a nap which did not seem to help and I may have had a little bit of stomach distress. But what the hell, after all the time I went without drinking I guess it is possible to experience anything now. I will say that when I take the Nal I don't seem to feel the effects of the beer or wine but without the Nal I do have a little buzz even on the small amount that I am drinking . I do intend to try the Nal again to see if it still makes me feel crappy. And I intend to have a supply of it on hand in case I think that I may drink away from home, maybe the slight nauseous feeling it gives me will keep me from over drinking. I can say this, I still have some fear that I could slip but if I just never give in to drinking for no reason or when I am alone with nothing to do then I will stay ahead of the game.

My wife is from Ecuador and we are going to buy or build a small hotel/hostal on a beach and move there maybe this year. I will have a small restaurant/bar in the hotel and will need to watch myself. I do feel that as long as I do not go back to drinking the hard stuff and only drink beer and wine very moderately then I should be able to cope with my alcoholic tendencies. More later.

So after almost vowing not to take Naltima again I decided to give it a try today and had the same reaction, only more severe, than my past few attempts. Over the past month(s) I have been drinking a little without taking Nal and have not had a bad experience. But instead of drinking only on the weekends I find myself sometimes having a beer or wine with lunch whenever I wish. I am almost always having about a glass of wine each night. I keep telling myself that science is on my side on the red wine drinking, ha, well it is supposed to be healthful. So today I decided I will take a 1/4 tablet of Nal and I noted the time, it was 2:30 and within ten minutes I was sweating and by 3:00 I was taking a nap that lasted an hour and it is now 6:20 and I am still groggy. There is no doubt in my mind that it is the Nal because I was in perfect shape when I took it, not sleepy or tired or anything like that. So I guess I will lay off the stuff for good with this type of reaction, I just cannot live with the idea of getting sick everytime I take even a small amount of Nal.

But as with everything else I will take it one step at a time. More later.

I'm quite new to TSM (have been taking it for 4 weeks) and am spending quite a lot of time reading through people's posts to see their jouneys and pick up tips and advice. I have just read yours from beginning to end.

I find it quite striking as there seems to have been a shift in both your intentions and drinking pattern since your initial posts. At the beginning you were completely abstinent and wondering if Nal would allow you to drink on the odd occassion...maybe a couple of times a year (Christmas, Thanksgiving, a holiday). You seemed extremely cautious about breaking your abstinence and proceeded very slowly in taking the Nal. However, as I read on things seemed to change and more alcohol has crept in. You are now drinking without taking the Nal and your intake has increased....

I hear alarm bells ringing!!

I'm not judging, and it's none of my business, but I just wanted to share what I'd noticed. I guess I feel a little worried for you. It's not called a slippery slope for nothing.

Take care,

Ruth.

Hi Sailor!! I'm sorry naltrexone causes such a bad reaction for you. Have you read anything about Topamax? I think the drug is called topiramate and I have taken it in the past to help with cravings. It does work for some. You might visit the My Way Out board and search around for the drug threads. There will be many there who take either Topamax, or Naltrexone or Baclophen or a combination of all three.

I too am curious about your switch from abstinence to having a drink on special occasions to what seems to be a bit of 'slippage.' Ruth and I only mention this because we've 'been there, done that.' We'd hate for you to have to start all over again from a worse place.

But you know what's right for you. Please keep posting. Your experiences have great value for others and we really need to learn from each other.
Babs

Ruthy and Babs:

Thank you for your concerns, believe me I have been there and done that myself and see very clearly that I have changed my initial thoughts on this subject. I have seen that my, still, occasional drinking is a lot more than I first envisioned and recognize the slippery slope that I am on. I make no excuses for the change, I do see the possible serious outcome if I let it go too far and as long as I am paying attention and remain afraid of the dire consequences of my actions I may still be in control. So far at least I seem to have a beer or a wine just like any normal person might, with meals and not all day long and certainly nothing more than the equivalent of a glass of wine in any given day.

I am cautious and afraid but not yet worried about the addiction returning as it has in the past. But also, I am not in any way in the same type of environment that led to my downfall in the first place. I think that with age has come more a new sense of enlightenment and a better understanding of myself and my addictiveness.

I will stay in touch and not hesitate to notify the board if I slip too much.

Babs,

I want to thank you so much for mentioning MyWayOut.org. I had forgotten that there was a study about the effects of baclofen and alcoholism. And now after reading some about it I have a thought that might be valid. You see I take baclofen on almost a daily basis for back spasms related to an arthritic condition. Inadvertently I may have been building a tolerance to alcohol for several years now. If I think that I am drinking a little too much and have created a craving for a drink I will increase the dosage a little more than my current intake. Even without the Nal I am not craving a drink as in the usual alcoholic sense. I just enjoy the taste of a beer and a hamburger or wine and spaghetti or something similar. Since Naltrexone is making me sick and Baclofen does not then I may be in pretty good shape. More later. Thanks again.

I'm glad you took my comments in the spirit with which they were intended.
It's interesting that the Baclofen you take for your back may have helped build up your tolerance.
Wishing you well,
Ruth.

Ruth,

I take no offense at anyone's valid opinion where alcohol and its effects are concerned. Believe me I have had the experiences from alcohol addiction that alert me to my behavior and dependence development.

I worry that I will slip and fall back into old habits but on the other hand I don't see any of those habits developing along at this point. I have several thoughts on that subject, one is that my body is healed from the previous abuse and my mind is in a better place and of course my environment is much different than the other times that I have allowed myself to become addicted.

I say the above with a bit of caution because I also know that an addictive mind can always trick itself into believing whatever it wants. But I am hopeful that science has come forward with ideas about addiction treatment that are other than abstinence. After all other conditions are treated without total abstinence such as obesity, you don't stop eating completely to lose weight, you adjust your thought process and eating habits. Why not treat other addictions in a similar manner.

In my case if I can see a way to drink in a normal manner without becoming a drunk then why not and if a few pills a day help in that effort then that is OK with me too. I began this experiment more than 7 months ago and have had no slips, I have not been even tipsy once in that time so that tells me I have not gone overboard and I am maintaining a low level of consumption so to that end I am behaving as normal as anyone I have ever known. I would be very happy to live like this forever.

Well I can see that this posting became a book so I will quit for now and come back when I have something new to report or complain about.

Well it is time for more revelations about my particular circumstance. It is been months and months since I last took Nal, I am now taking 3 20mg tabs of Baclofen daily, which coincidentally is prescribed for me for back muscle spasms that I contend with. Only because a previous reader of my experience mentioned it to me am I taking it regularly instead of on occasion. But whether it is the pill or my mental and physical change since being alcohol dependent I now find myself drinking like I did when I first began so many years ago. I have a beer if I want but not 12, I have a glass or two of vino but not three bottles. And I DO NOT drink anything else, no vodka or rum or nada. Just beer and wine.

Funny but I keep returning to the fact that so many changes in my life have occurred in the last years that maybe that is the primary reason that I do not slip back into old habits. I just returned from a trip to Ecuador, stayed 6 weeks this trip, bought a piece of beach front land in a small coastal village and plan to start building a small hostal there by years end. Drank a few beers everyday that I was there, never once drank too much, never once got drunk or even close, don't recall even being high. So maybe my good mental outlook and environmental changes are the reason or maybe the baclofen is a primary also, but what difference does it make as long as things continue to work for me.

I finally feel like I am a normal drinker again. But I ALWAYS have in the back of my mind that I am not and that a relapse could occur if I push it too far. But as long as I can have a cold beer or two and a glass of wine with dinner I remain a happy and sane person.

It is now approaching a year since my experiment with drinking began and I have not had a bad experience yet.

So long for now.

I'm still sticking with the Nal, but your story intrigues me. Keep us updated, as I intend to keep the Baclofen on the backburner for a backup plan. I'm riding the Nal for a year, as my numbers do continue to fall. Time will tell.

Thanks for the update.