I was about to post this as a reply to WranSlayer's thread "Public perception of pharmacology to treat alcoholism" but realized it's a bit off-topic and probably worth its own thread.

I mentioned that I was trying TSM to a few friends when I first tried it a couple years ago. Half of them immediately changed the subject. One or two were onboard. More than one told me I wasn't an alcoholic. (Which lead me to one of my personal mottos: "The worst thing you can say to someone who's just told you that they're an alcoholic is 'No, you're not.'")

At this point in my life, since I stopped TSM for over a year and just re-started recently, only one of my friends knows I'm actively trying to do anything about my drinking. Eventually, I'm sure I won't be able to dodge the bullet any longer; I'll be in a situation where drinking happens unexpectedly, I've got the pill in my pocket, I want to drink, and I'll have to hit the pause button, take the pill, and wait out the hour while everyone else digs in.

I'm weighing my options as to what's the most tactful way to explain it. I'm thinking I'll try something like this:

"I've got a bit of a drinking problem, runs in the family. Normal people can just have a drink or two and be fine with that, but I always want more. But, if I take one of these pills before I start drinking, it helps keep me from going overboard."

It's a very glossed-over explanation that leaves out the real core details of how naltrexone and TSM work, but it's truthful and avoids the "A" word altogether. I take my pill, I order my pint an hour later, and by that point everyone's forgotten all about it. And if anyone in the group is genuinely interested, we can have a private chat about it later and I can fill them in on the details.

For the most part, I intend to keep it under the radar as long as possible, hidden from as many people as possible. But, at the same time, I do have a lot of friends who know all too well my long-held reputation as the guy who only goes to events where drinking is involved and always gets totally drunk when he does. These folks often avoid inviting me to things because (a) there's no alcohol involved and/or (b) they don't want me to show up and get drunk in front of everyone. I feel like once I feel like I have made some serious progress in controlling and reducing my intake, I do want to let some of them know that yes, I've come to admit that I have a problem, yes, I'm doing something about it, and yes, it's working. (And yes, it's safe to invite me to your BBQ.)

Ives,

I think your explanation to your friends sounds good. It's easy to understand without getting too bogged down in the technicalities and, as you said, you can always explain it in more detail to those who are genuinely interested. It also means that you're being honest with them.

I guess when and how much we reveal about our TSM journey is purely a personal choice. Some people prefer the support gained from letting others know and the accountability that comes with that. I'm not one of those people. I haven't told anyone about taking Nal (not even my husband). I'm planning on telling them after I've got my drinking under my control and then they can see the results for themselves. I'm going to do it quietly, under the radar, in my own good time without any outside pressures or influences.

Hopefully it won't be too long before you're at the top of the BBQ guest list!

Ruth.

I'm not sure what friend of mine would give a darn.

Short list of friends I have developed. I have some friends who don't drink or don't drink much and are in control. However, most are drinkers. So I'm not really sure what I would tell them. BarryB's advice is probably spot on, that someday, if I ever would try and make the leap to daily AF, I would need to talk to them, or move on. Until such time, I'm still on trying to cut the drinking by myself first.

Friend 1 - HS buddy. He jokes about us being alcoholics and appears to be fine with it. His wife drinks daily with him.

Friend 2 - HS buddy Daily drinker, single, texts all of his buddys 2 or 3 times a week asking "Are you on it yet?"

Friend 3 - HS buddy Drinks alot daily, wife not so much, but pretty much doesn't seem to get drunk. He can outdrink us all i think.

Friend 4 - HS buddy Only drinks when he visits me. (Smokes weed back at home.) However, once he starts drinking, he doesn't want to stop or leave until 3am.

Friend 5 - HS buddy Mostly weekends only, his wife the same. Once they start, lights out. Wife once left a party and drove through Friend 1's garage door.

Friend 6 - HS buddy Daily drinker, doesn't usually get smashed, just angry when girlfriend, now wife, is around. Great guy otherwise, just avoid when drunk and wife around.

Neighbor 1 - He quit drinking 15 years ago, but started again when moving in next door to me 10 years ago. He still drinks socially, but his wife is getting sloshed more and more.

Neighbor 2 - Daily drinker, mostly social drinker, except the one time the cops came, and he had to move out for a few months.

Neighbor 3 - Fellow volunteer fireman. He is not a daily drinker, but when he does, it is an all day affair, and he's not scared to start at 9am. His wife, collects hundreds of wine corks.

Neighbor 4 - Fellow volunteer fireman. Weekend mostly, once he starts, he doesn't stop until lights out. Wife like mine, very in control and social.

I do ponder trying to get a buddy on board with TSM, for a buddy system and/or somebody to talk to locally. I'm just not sure which one really wants to quit or cut back.

Every single one of my friends drink. All of them. I think most drink with greater frequency than I do, as I tend to just drink two days a week and as best I can tell they often have a single drink after work many nights, but I don't notice in them the total inability to STOP once you start that I have.

I'm sure most of them realize that I have a hard time stopping. They've seen it enough. Whether or not they realize I really feel out of control and have started TSM, I don't know. Not sure whether or not I'll broach it with them, either. To be honest, I'm kind of embarrassed about it. It also doesn't help that I've complained a lot about my father, who is also an alcoholic. Makes me feel like a hypocrite, even though he gleefully went down his path of destruction while I'm working to fight against it.

I've told nobody not even my husband. He loves to drink and will not be pleased as he sees me stop - it will make his drinking show up more - much as I love and respect him, that's for him to deal with at this point.

Everyone I know, and all our neighbours, drink like there's no tomorrow and most admit they "drink too much." They seem to know this and will say it with a smirk but it never stops them.

The some of the women have confided to me that they would like to "cut back" but I've seen no evidence of that yet. Last time I used naltrexone I explained about it to a few of them but they looked at me as if I had two heads and changed the subject - big time denial and no interest in getting on board.

So I'm kind of hiding out and stopping on my own. I've been away on and off this summer, and it's been too hot for much socializing outside so we'll see what happens when we all start getting together again.

Interesting posts on this topic. I've shared with a small number of friends and my immediate family, including my 19-yr-old son, what my Dr.-recommended treatment is - TSM - but have no idea if they've taken the time to look up the abundant free information available out there.

They're oddly non-commital. Or maybe want to appear supportively non-judgemental? Or think this is yet another desperate straw I'm clutching.

You know what? I don't care. This is the best, most hopeful lifesafer that's been tossed my way in a very long time. And only time will tell.

Cheers!