Ives wrote:
(....)
#1. Reduce overall intake - no more hangovers at work
(....)12 and I am depressed on top of it all. 15+ and the hangover may last two days
(....)I would say 50% of the driving force behind my drinking after 9 PM is that I need to get drunk enough to fall asleep. I may get ahold of some benadryl or something like that...any recommendations?
(....)#2 will be difficult. Developing a way to actually survive an AF night at all is the first step.
(....)#4. More AF days than not
Ives,
It's really cool to see your objectives/milestones or aims in a list like that with the personal details. We share 
#1 and 
#4.  Three days in a row of really heavy drinking for me (8-12 shots of spirits, usually whiskey, scotch, or vodka) and despite my religious intake of an anti-depressant supplement (5-htp) I will feel miserable mentally and physically. Pessimistic to the point of hopelessness and no energy to do anything but lie about, sleep, maybe read. The next day my physical energy is usually low as well.
I'd like to reduce my intake to what is considered moderate for females:  no more than 9 drinks per week, which will be drastic change. BTW, I'm taking this  number from a study that was published in The American Journal of Public Health, so a 'drink' means a standard drink in the US: 1.5 shots spirits, a beer, a standard glass of wine, 2oz/29.6ml of port.
Sleeping: on occasion I take doxylamine succinate, available OTC as generic shop-branded or Unisom at American chemists and markets (bought my last box at the Albertsons next door). Taking it two days in a row doesn't work for me. Some people take the herb valerian but it gives me a headache. Same with kava-kava, another herb, but long-term use of that is rough on the liver anyway, whereas valerian is supposed to be a liver tonic. Go figure.
AF days/nights: If there's booze in the flat, it's a near guarantee that I'll be having at it no matter what I say when I wake. When it's absent, I've found really paying attention to my craving helps a tonne. You'll notice it comes in waves; not always disappearing in a trough after a crest, but reducing a lot to where I can forget for a bit, if even just for minutes. AF days have been possible for me on occasion using this method. Pushing the time forwards helps too, like, oh, 'I'll wait an hour or do this or that first, then maybe I can start drinking,' and then doing it again and again. A bad hangover? Unfortunately, that has been the reason for a number of my AF days.
Congratulations on that desire to stop when you had an unfinished beer! It doesn't matter that you ended up drinking it, I know the feeling. Maybe next time. I've got to the point of leaving drinks unfinished and either covering them and stowing them in the fridge for another time or just pouring them out. 
Don't let self-recrimination wear you down; I've found it just makes me want to drink more. Be kind to yourself! Hell, you're on Nal and you want to make changes, those are two things to be hugely proud of. 

All the best to you,
Xanthippe