G'day McB!

Sounds like you're off to a great start ... very well done! Ha .. that post about middys and schooners took me back years ago when I spent a great time in Perth... trouble was I worked in a wee fish and chip shop .. right next to the drive in bottle shop! (Wow!! i'd never seen anything like a drive in bottle-o .. we don't have them in Scotland!!) so all my meagre earnings from the chip shop went straight to the bottle shop!!! Wish I'd had Nal back then!!

Enjoyin hearing about your progress ... there will be ups and downs .. but keep tracking your units and its great to see the numbers going down

I'm a cider drinker too .. not so much now though .. thanks to Nal ... but I used to love the Ozzy Strongbow .. different from ours here .. anyhow .. glad it doesn't have such a hold anymore

I liked the bit you wrote in one of your posts - about the obsessive thoughts ending ... I realise now (and I've been taking it for granted recently ) the RELIEF of not spending my days obsessing about drink .. or in my case repetitive "I musnt drink tonight" or "I must cut down" thoughts which dominated my days..

Having some control and therefore freedom from this type of thought pattern is magic! thank you Nal

Keep us posted McB

Lorraine

END OF WEEK 2

So here I am at the end of my second week. I think it was in all fairness a bit of a mixed week in terms of success. I had a total of 62 Australian units for the week which is slightly down from my first TSM week. So that is good. Like everyone here who is really dedicated to gaining control I want to see a decline in numbers each week. The reality of a steady or constant decline is yet to be seen and I am prepared based on others experience for those figures to in-fact rise significantly. I really think that it is a natural response for anyone who has been trying to abstain for many years, that when I am now "allowed" to drink for a change I have done just that. The feeling of guilt associated with my drinking that I've cultivated over the years is something that I'm going to have to just get over. Even though my family have read Dr. Eskapa's book and are supportive I am sure that they really don't completely grasp the concept that my "medicine" is Naltrexone+Alcohol. I get the feeling that they think I should be striving for more AF days. But I really want to kill the obsession with extinction so I have been succumbing to certain cravings that in my abstaining past I would have just white-knuckled and dealt with. It's a tough one.
That said, I've decided to put a couple of things into practice in the coming week. I have noticed that due to the sweet taste and probably it's high sugar content I can easily drink more cider than I can beer. So I'm going to really try and limit my home drinking to beer. It doesn't taste as good (it used to) and I get that 'full' feeling a lot quicker. So there's one thing I can do. And I should realistically be able to get two AF nights in a week at this stage. After all it's weekend binge drinking and blackouts that have always been my biggest problem, so drinking every day is not necessary.
But in saying that, I have to acknowledge that my weeks high numbers were due to three drinking sessions out of the six days I actually drank. One was a 14.4 unit session where 6 of those units were cider - which I started drinking AFTER I finished a six pack of beer. The second was a 10 pack of cider cans totalling 13 units. The third was my first big night out on TSM and that was a 21 unit affair. So if I can reel in my big sessions during the week, even if the one big night stands my numbers would have taken a significant dip.
But the major success again is my vastly improved behaviour when I've hit those high numbers. I have had nights over the last decade where I am completely missing hours of a night and do some crazy f***ed up ****. With NAL as I've stated I have felt totally in control and level headed and I haven't had even a slight grey area. Even if things were to just stay on that level of success alone it will completely change my life.
So my realistic goals for the coming week are to 1) Try and stick to beer so that my at home drinking numbers stay lower and 2)Add an extra AF day to the mix if possible. But I'm not going to beat myself up too much over the second one. I'm proud of myself for the fact that even though I went out on a big night with a mate, I'm still 6 units lower than last week. And I didn't make a fool of myself or piss anyone off.
Thanks guys, your support is unreal. Good luck with your week!!

Sounds super encouraging, McB, and I think switching to beer is a GREAT strategy. It feels less like self denial to me, which I am bad at.

McB,

I would caution you against being too hard on yourself, especially as early in the process as you are. I've been at this almost nine weeks and have seen some amazing progress thus far. While I am no means a veteran, I do have a bit more experience than you do at this stage. Early on it was definitely not going fast enough for me (that might be a somewhat common trait for people like us). My intake did not decline for the first 4 to 5 weeks and it was really discouraging. I was looking for that magic bullet. But I took direction from the people on this forum as well as from the book and my numbers started to decline over the last three to four weeks.

I do think that there are some folks on this forum that were not as advanced as myself, and as a result had quicker results from the therapy. I also feel that our individual drinking patterns have an impact on the this as well as our bio-chemistry. Each of our situations are different, both drinking patterns and our physiology. I can use their experience as a guide, but I have to be careful not to compare myself to them or their results.

That being said, I am a bit disheartened this week with my progress. My numbers are up about 10 units this week from the 55 or so that I have been averaging. My goal this week was to put together two AF days in a row and I have been unsuccessful and that is frustrating. I've been averaging 2 AF days a week and have to go AF tomorrow to achieve that for this week. The good news is that overall I do notice that my drinking patterns have changed. I am certain that this is the right path for me, but it is probably going to take a bit longer than I had hoped it would. Lord knows that it took me 30+ years to get to where I am now, so another few/several months isn't too much to expect to achieve a cure.

Keep the faith brother! I'm pulling for you!

HEY!
JMS, generic, lorrainem1, tiller, kekede, barryb -
I really want to say from the bottom of my heart, thank you!
This TSM stuff is amazing on a number of levels. Not only have we (finally) been given the medical, scientific solution to this absolute HELL that has plagued our lives. Where we can manage our treatment in a dignified manner - (Yeah yeah, I know.. people in our lives are gonna need to see some results....) And true, we've got the failures of our past to live up to. The broken promises, the lies the bullshit.... But we've got THIS to hang onto, and I don't know about you guys, but I feel alive again knowing that this is a REAL THING.
It's also exciting to think that we may be the first generation of people to actually say "I USED to be an alcoholic", "I'm cured of alcohol addiction".
And to be able to share this experience in a fashion where we can be open and honest through our ups and downs is truly a big deal for me.
I have been inspired by your stories, I devour your tips and advice, and I want to be here to share ALL our highs and lows on our own personal roads to control. Imagine, one day we could all be sat around a table sharing a drink and telling how we got out alive!
That's a longwinded way of saying thanks for welcoming me to this site and I really appreciate knowing that I'm not just shooting these musings into cyberspace. To the road ahead!

Well said McB .. I say cheers to your last post!

It IS good to feel there are others "out there" on the same road .. the first time I clicked on the paypal to order my Nal I was thinking WHAT on earth am I doing!!?

But I'm so glad I did!!

Sounds like you're doing well - like the other guys say - numbers may not fall so quick for everyone - but the fact you're noticing such a difference is a good sign.

How are you getting on without the cider or less cider? I thought I was sugar craving a bit early on ,... but I'm a low carb diet fan - and think that alcohol was my carb replacement .. (who am I kidding!!) so I was just missing it.

Here routing for you from the other side of the planet!

Lorraine

END OF WK 3

Hey guys just checking in. I've actually had a bit of a rough week, well just a bad couple of days actually. I got drunk on Sunday night and I've felt really depressed for the last couple of days. Really sad and very lethargic. I'm not sure if it's the drinking or the Nal. It could even be just that my lifestyle is all over the place at the moment. I'm on holidays from study so I have lots of free time that I'm not taking advantage of. I'm sleeping late and basically just bumming around at home, eating badly and sleeping too much so I really need to fill that time up with productive activities and do some exercise to try and boost my energy levels. But besides that I had a reasonably successful week drinking wise. Still had some high numbers considering I had 3 AF days. So the honeymoon phase is over and I am back to putting away a few too many per session, so I have to watch that. But my AF days have been easy enough and I'm 10 drinks lower than the previous week with no blackouts! As I said, my mood for Monday and Tuesday has been atrocious so tomorrow I really hope I wake up on the right side of the bed!
Hope you all had a great week and are soldiering on!!

McB,

I too have seen a bit of an increase in consumption over the last few weeks, although my AF days have gone from 2 per week to 1 for the last 2 weeks. I am seeing a change in my consumption patterns. My propensity to guzzle drinks has declined a bit and I think that is a good sign. I am about 2.5 months into this and still have high hopes. The alternative is not all that appealing, so I am going to stick with it. I hope this is not a case where "the cure is worse than the condition." Sad to say, but my ability to stop on my own just does not seem to be there. Lord knows I have tried. I am definitely more cognizant of what I am doing during my sessions and am very aware of what the next day is going to be like if I go too hard. That is helping me immensely. Hang in there and if you like what you are getting then keep doing what you are doing.