Hi Guys,
I'm obviously new here and I'm really pleased that this site exists so that I can monitor how I'm going with TSM.
When I stumbled upon TSM I thought it was too good to be true, but reading your forums and having an AMAZING family GP who has seen me struggle with alcoholism I am now into day 3 of taking NAL and drinking.
I'm not always a daily drinker, I'm more of a binge drinker that binges often. The first three drinking sessions that I have had using TSM have been at home and I have not yet been to a pub. For some reason I have always reached blackout faster when drinking in public (can anyone relate to that as it has always baffled me). I have noticed the following.
1) I don't get that initial 'oooh yeeeaah' feeling from that first drink.
2) I feel that if I ran out of beer or someone told me I had to stop suddenly I probably wouldn't go into panic mode.
3) I act and feel more sober and have not blacked out. No calling everyone in my phone for a drunken chat. Just quite chilled and settled. Relaxed not hyper.
I realise that this could be the 'honeymoon' period that I've read about, however this is already a marked improvement and gives me a great deal of hope.
I was thinking that perhaps the continual flood of endorphins my brain receives without NAL leads to a kind of overdose and thus blackout?? I have the initial feeling that how I feel on NAL is how a 'normal' person must feel when they drink. Which is why my regular behaviour must seem so crazy to them!
Anyway, nice to meet you all and I look forward to documenting my progress and following yours!

I just started today. I appreciate your post and I'm hoping I experience what you mentioned, "how I feel on NAL is how a 'normal' person must feel when they drink". Thanks again for your post and I hope you post regularly on your progress.

Sounds great. Remember, though, that the goal of TSM is to make you "normal" in the way you think about alcohol while you're NOT drinking, versus making you experience alcohol normally (although this is helpful, too). That is, it gets rid of the obsession and impetus to drink in the first place. Some people experience it as a sober pill, others don't. Either way, the goal is to fundamentally change one's attitude towards alcohol. Stay strong!

Thanks barryb,
I appreciate your support and this forum is an excellent way of being reminded of ALL the aspects of TSM. I totally agree with you and cannot wait for the day when alcohol or the 'I'm an alcoholic' feeling is no longer at the forefront of my thoughts. I am also trying to help things along by limiting the amount of booze I buy and when I run out I am trying to let the NAL do it's thing. I am yet to drink at a pub or in a social setting (party etc.) I am in no way giving myself a 'green light' to just go for it. My initial experiences though have been extremely rewarding and given me great hope. I have read many of your posts and your success is my inspiration. I have never felt so hopeful.

Hi sr999,
Good luck and I would love to continue to stay in-touch during our journeys!!

McBlackout and Barry, really enjoy your posts. On day 3 and had my first drinking experience on NAL (vivitrol shot) last night. I identify with almost everything with McBlackouts post at the beginning of the thread. When I poured out my first large glass of vodka and 7up because I couldn't seem to finish it, I was definitely thinking that I was experiencing what a normal drinker does, that urge to finish it off to get on with my next bigger glass was not there. I always finish off my fifth of vodka and this morning I am marveling this morning how little is gone from the bottle.

I actually feel great this morning instead of looking to see what I did (usually blackout). I even have a time delay safe to lock up my car keys, credit cards, cash, and cell phone to help keep me out of trouble when I lose control. Definitely, did not need that last night ... went to bed feeling buzzed and sober. Before I started on the glass of vodka, I did have a beer (didn't finish that either), what is worth mentioning is I almost felt drunk while working on the single beer for a while, like the NAL had increased the effect.

This morning, I wokeup after having vivid dreams. I stopped using the no smoking drug Chantix a week ago because it didn't work for me and never got vivid dreams on it (common side effect) but had them last night from drinking with NAL .. unless its just a coincidence.

Wokeup thinking wow from the dreams, had the runs, feeling very relaxed and melancholy and happy with not getting plastered as usual, gives me lots of hope!!!!!! The only thing I'm not so happy about is that I feel like I want to drink now. Not my usual drive to get completely wasted, but like I want the same light/moderate drinking as last night because I feel so good from it this morning.

I don't rule out placebo effect. One thing is certain, time will tell because I placebo won't be able to cure or improve me for long. I am a hardcore passout/binge/blackout drinker, so I should know soon after more drinking sessions. If this works, it will be a miracle ... before I found out about NAL, I gave up and accepted living in terror at what I may do when plastered and trying to hide my hand shakes at work. Good luck to us all.

Major triggers the last couple of days, so drinking was ensured, here is what happened:

Last night got drunk, but not crazy drunk. Ended up not being able to finish the fifth I usually do.

Tonight (right now), working to finish off a fifth. I'm drunk, but not crazy drunk. By that is, except for the body feel, I could have a straight conversation and I am in no fear of blacking out and doing something stupid. For the last hour, I have been trying to break through this barrier. Now, that is crazy .. I know, but I think it is just part of the alcoholic personality to prove it. I just get more of the same. I will attempt to finish the fifth, just to prove that it can get me drunk but the crazy blackout stage is not a risk. Now, that in itself made this vivitrol shot golden. My god, to think of the nightmare episodes that never would have happened if I had this in my system!

So, in summary, just a few days in, still crave, still drink, but is a conscience effort to drink at my normal level and I remain coherent while drinking. Still too early for extinction to take effect, but the known effect so far of keeping me in the coherent stage, means no matter what, I will keep taking this drug. Life changer! Now, back to working on finishing this fifth....

Update on my post a little while ago. I ate some dinner, and poured about 1/4 or 1/5 of the vodka bottle down the sink. This is unbelievable, this sh*t works!!!!!!!!!

I'm taking the vivitrol shot instead of the pills. I might switch to the pills eventually, but results like this, I'm getting another shot next month for sure no matter what happens later this month. Just the effect today, proves to me without a doubt it is not a placebo effect. Even trying to feed the monkey by giving my best to finish off the fifth, left me with an unfinished bottle poured down the drain.

I just can't believe this ..... I wish I knew about this years ago, it would have saved me so many horrible memories of doing sh#t while in a blackout autopilot nutz condition.

I'm an atheist, and I'll even say THANK GOD!!!!!! AA can s$ck my d#ck, finally something that works!

Last post of the night. Having finished off 3/4 of the fifth, I should still be drunk (and maybe technically I am) but I am coherent. My motor skills are diminished and I feel some nausea, probably from forcing more and more vodka down when normally I would be robotically driven to do same.

This medicine works for sure, I am hoping that TSM holds true and it will get better and better, that this will actually extinct the alcoholism and I can be normal again.

Tomorrow, I'm going to think of other things I can do when home alone for the night. Up until now it was always a no brainer, get drunk. Maybe I will drink tomorrow, and if I do and get the same results as tonight, I'll be happy. But I'm starting to wonder if I can actually have an AF day even though opportunity exists, it would be the first in 2x years.

Lets see ... good night all and good luck to us all!!!!

sr999, I'm glad to hear you are doing good. I'm also planning the shot. I'm pretty much in the same boat as you. Does the drinking feel good at all? I understand you stay in control, but as you drink is it even enjoyable? Or is it more of a "because i used to do it, might as well do it tonight as well". Thanks - jj