Hey Barry!

Such a transformation - you really have become a new person... I love the fact you left that guy from last year behind. (I'm sure so do the other road users in Texas) If you dont' fancy giving bro in law a lengthy explanation - just tell him you're on anti biotics .. but I'm sure you'll manage the day fine - as you see fit.

I told my Mum last night for the first time about TSM ... shes quite elderly .. and I didn't want to worry her ... but she was surprisingly chilled and said she thought it was great .. about time I cut down a bit. She mentioned maybe my late dear old Dad could have used a few Nal in his time (He certainly liked a whisky or 10) .. but it was a surprisingly calm positive reaction.

Enjoy your beach party when it comes.. Its very interesting reading about your developing aversion to alcohol ... who would have thought it! I really hope I'll be going the same way.
Lorraine

I refuse to use the antibiotic lie. Then, people think you have some sort of disease or are contagious. My experience is that people think "recovering alcoholics" are super cool, so I have not been ashamed of it. It makes you look sort of like a bad ass, like you've been to hell and lived to tell the tale.

I find most people react positively when I tell them I was a mess, they look at my life now and are like "Wow".

Thing is there's only one anti-b that you really shouldn't drink with, big myth really - sure it can reduce efficacity of the treatment but generally you can actually drink alcohol on most.

I know I checked it out when I was a piss-head.

On Day 15 AF now. Actually, Saturday night I took a Nal with the intention of stopping into a bar at a music festival I was at. Got there, bar was crowded, didn't feel like it anymore. So, just got a diet DP. Good thing, as I ran into lots of my high schoolers' friends and talked for awhile. Drove home and there were cops pulling people over left and right.

Went out with the wife last night for an outside dinner and a nice, cold beer. I took 25mg due to my overwhelming experiences with 50mg (TSM has "ruined me" on drinking). It actually worked really nice. No aversion to the beer, yet no desire to drink more when I finished it. I'm going to stick with 25mg for the foreseeable future to find a happy medium. Maybe I can enjoy 1-2 drinks once every 1-2 weeks? That sounds reasonable enough.

Nice one Barry ... sounds like the 25 mg worked well for you - probably a good plan (and your remaining Nal will last you into next Century

Good to hear you're getting on well Lorraine

I'm leaving for my one week beach trip tomorrow. I'm finding that summer, sunshine, sailing, etc.. really increase my desire to drink. I was in Miami last weekend and had 4-2-2, two of those times without Naltrexone. Last night, I took 25mg before heading out to the sailing club. I brought an iced 12 pack of XX Amber, and ended up having two mixed drinks and two beers over about three hours. After my first vodka drink, I was woozy -- I could barely even get the boat out of the harbor as I was somewhat confused (my brain and sailing physics are not a good match even when sober).

I'm not going to beat myself up about drinking four drinks, but don't want to make this a habit. On the positive side, it's been over five months since I drank non-socially. When it's just a normal night at home, drinking would now seem really strange.

Regarding my pending beach house vacation, I'm packing the Nal and am going to try to only drink about half the time. My last beach house vacation was an exercise in nightly indulgence followed by morning self-pity. I remember walking the beach super-depressed every morning while listening to sad music. I would think about how much I hated the way I drink; the depression was primarily due to the terrible feeling of being a slave to something. That is simply not going to happen this time. Maybe I'll just take a 50mg each night and be done with it -- I literally can barely finish a drink on 50mg, but it makes me feel funky for about two hours.

I'll give you my report in a week, as I'll be off the grid. Party on!

Alright, guys, here's my post-vacation report. I know some people here have found some bit of inspiration from my story, so I hope I don't disappoint you with what happened over my recent trips to Florida and New Orleans. Basically, I made a very conscious decision to NOT take Naltrexone during my vacation, though I brought it along just in case. There is something about sunshine and the beach that just goes so well with alcohol (and definitely something about New Orleans and alcohol).

I definitely was much improved over the last few years' beach trips. I never got drunk, I was very in control, I never drove drunk (!), never had a hangover, and the alcohol felt fantastic and really enhanced my vacation. I didn't even count at all (that's why you see an "X" this week). I drank nine nights in a row. I think the most I drank in one day was about seven drinks (three beers plus four oz. of liquor).

Anyway, I don't feel guilty about it at all, but I will say this. By the end of the week, I could definitely see how things could spiral out of control if I kept this up. Last night, I told my wife that I didn't take Nal and about my experience, but also told her I'll start back up starting now. On my next night off, I think I'll take a 50mg and maybe try to drink one beer for extinction purposes.

Tan and ready to go back to work to make some $$$$! - Barry

Barry,

You are definitely an inspiration on this forum for me. I look forward to your posts. That being said, I don't think that you should feel any responsibility to me for your behavior. We all have to travel our own paths in this journey of recovery. And I don't mean to offend, but I do think you are playing with fire by not taking the Nal when drinking. If I compare my intake to yours I would venture to say that you are not nearly as far down the road of alcoholism as I am. I would also suggest that you don't want to go there. You have indicated that your behavior is alcoholic in nature, so you are prone to the disease. And it is progressive, that I can assure you.

I've used this saying in business when dealing with a situation that looks like it is going in the wrong direction that goes something like this: I'm driving down a road and I see a sign that says "Dump 5 miles (that's rubbish or trash heap for you non-Americans)." I keep going down the road and I see another sign that says "Dump 2 Miles." On I go about my business and I see another sign that says "Dump 1/2 Mile." I plow on and all of a sudden I say "how the f*** did I end up at the dump?" Well, the signs were there all along but I ignored them. I could have turned off or turned around at any time, but I didn't. And now I'm at the dump. And it sucks.....

Having personally driven that road with alcohol and ignoring the signs along the way, it is my humble opinion that this is not a road worth traveling. I hate the dump. It's full of seagulls and sh**. Unfortunately, I keep driving that road to the dump. I've tried any number of detours and course corrections, but I seem to always end up back at the f****** dump. I don't seem to have a choice any longer. In fact, I drove to the dump this very day. And I loathe myself for it. Yet through TSM I have the HOPE and opportunity to achieve abstinence (which is what I want). Perhaps better yet, some of us have the opportunity to achieve the dream of every alcoholic. "The idea that someday, somehow he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker (page 30 of the Big Book)."

You've already proven that it can be done. That is experience, strength, and HOPE that I can believe in!

Hey Bazza,
Yeah, geez. The thing that I've noticed and loved about this crew of people (compared to AA with its dogma) is that we're the Lab-rats and we are all in the same boat when it comes to a 'pinch of this and a dash of that' with this method. There are no right or wrongs. It's taking the facts of a strictly clinical study and putting it into the hands of those who have suffered, so that they can hopefully use a medical breakthrough to improve their lives. I know I am not alone when I say I look at this method as my last LAST chance at the normal life that has evaded me for my adult life. It's success at this or death, prison, loneliness.
The other thing that I would hate to see on this forum is people censoring the truth in favour of doing TSM 'properly'. There is no properly. So I applaud your sincerity.
AND I am SO green when it comes to TSM, so I don't want to start throwing my weight around as I am in awe of people like you who have gained control of your lifestyle. Whether that be alcoholism, problem drinking or just being a dickhead when you drink.
However, even though I'm a newbie to TSM, I'm a seasoned, garden-variety alcoholic. If life hands me a gift like discovering TSM and then it WORKS for me, I won't be chasing the buzz of a drink. The buzz of a drink has cost me more than I could ever put into words. I haven't enjoyed drinking for about 7 years. Yet I cannot stop. I was relieved when naltrexone took that buzz away. It gave me hope that I may be able to live a normal life.
I totally understand why you would not take the Nal, but you've put the 'drug' back into alcohol. The drug that you're addicted to. It gives alcohol its power back. It's a motherfucker when it's got you against the ropes. Take the power back and hold onto it barryb!
You're story has inspired me. Your honesty is bold. Stay in the game!