Tiller, as usual, we are in SUCH the "same place", that I expect to turn my head and see you sitting right beside me . And that is why your statements such as the next mean so much to me...



True that! We'll get there, bro.

Hi Folks:

Been awhile since I checked in, partly because of travel and vacation. Also, not much new to report. Still cruising along, staying with the program. Trying to occupy myself in the evenings with good activities and good thoughts when I might otherwise drink too much. Also trying to remember that alcohol is mood poison for the next day.

Mostly it works OK. I'm still marching toward my goal of true control.

It's been great to see new folks on the board and the continued support provided by the community. Also note that a few like Hesster and Zippy have been more quiet of late. Also very interesting to hear from people who have been doing TSM long-term with solid success and others who are back to try again. This sure is one, big, uncontrolled experiment!

Best wishes to all--

Hey Tiller, good to hear from you -

Me, too...fits and starts. Some steps forwards and some backwards. I vacillate between thinking "I REALLY SHOULD TRY HARDER" and then deciding I'm over-thinking TSM, and that I should just "chill", and let it happen. 'Cause I still feel like I'm changing, AM "changed", a'ready! Anyway, before you posted today I was thinking about you and looking at your #'s and man! You've come a long ways, not to be denied !

Glad to hear you're still sailing along, Tiller. I know the summer is hard to push through, but we'll get there one of these days.

-H

Parking my signature stats here:

pre-tsm: 45-70u/wk (0AF)
Basic trends:
Month 1-5 avg 30/week 0/AF
6:37/0;25/1af; 28/2;33/2
7:29/2;31/0;24/2;16/3
8:16/3;28/0;27/0;27/0
9:25/0;28/1;26/1;22/2
10:27/1; 26/0; 28/1; 23/1; 24/1
11: 24/1; 25/0; 22/0; 27/0
12: 26/0;

Hi there Tiller - it looks like the long plateau is continuing, but you haven't broken 30 units since month 7. That is extremely impressive, and if you can trend that plateau slightly lower you'll be at borderline healthy levels of drinking.

I know you're not quite willing to snap off an AF streak, but once the summer ends and things begin to settle back into a routine, it might be worth giving it a try. The first one always sucks, but you might be surprised to see how many you can string together, since you're disciplined enough to keep those weekly totals down. Just a thought.

Thanks for being there over the past year. I know it's been a long one.

-H

Thanks for support, Hess.

You're right, I do need to go after the AF thing and will do so in September when I can get back into other routines as well (kids going to school, etc).

I also need to lay off the hard stuff. I've found that nothing really tastes good anymore, but that my evening cravings are for whiskey or bourbon. So I try never to buy more than a 1/2 pint bottle. Tough nut to crack.

I've been toying with adding campral to deal with cravings. Lot of mixed reviews out there but some suggest nal + campral is a good combo (just as some addiction experts think nal + baclofen is the key). Will think more on that in the fall.

I've also been trying some meditation. Some people suggest "urge surfing" and other mindful ways of making it through. Jury is out on that so far.

What happened to the job in Chicago? did I miss a post?

Hey Tiller,

I can definitely relate when it comes to the hard stuff. I never have cravings for beer - it's always bourbon or whiskey, which we know makes TSM more difficult.

Concerning Chicago - in early July, the hiring manager told me I was on the final list of candidates, and she would be in touch over the next few weeks regarding next steps (as various vacations would delay things a bit). She has since gone into radio silence. I sent her a note last week to check in, but still haven't heard back.

I was super excited about this working out, because the job is right in my wheelhouse, and I really want to work at this particular university in this particular city. It would obviously be life-changing.

I'll definitely update my thread if I hear anything, but for now I'm gonna reboot the job search.

Hope this week went well for ya.

-H

Howdy TSMers.

I gave up last fall. It had been more than a year and I wasn't getting past the long plateau. So I quietly gave up on TSM and dropped off the forum.

Now I need to climb back on the naltrexone wagon. Starting up at 25mg to get used to the initial side effects. Last time they went away after a week or so.

The key here will be to limit myself to beer and wine. The hard stuff is my downfall. My goal is control, not complete abstinence. But if that's the final destination I'm OK with that.

I'm hopeful this will work for me second time around.

Best to everyone,

Tiller! Long time no see. Glad to have you back around these parts.

I am very interested in how and why people drop out of TSM, so it's interesting to hear your experience with the plateau and how discouraging that was. It's a very good reminder for me that "cured" does not equal "normal." We are alcoholics. We have a wonderful tool at our disposal to help us regain control, but it doesn't change the way we were born. I knew something was different for me the very first time I drank. Nal isn't going to rewire the way my brain was set up by genetics.

You know what TSM can do for you, so hopefully the second time around moves quicker. As for the plateau, the way I personally beat it is by lower the octane of my drinks, and by finding ways to genuinely enjoy my AF stretches. I don't know if that'll do the trick for you, but it helped me a lot.

Keep us updated buddy, it's nice to have some of the old crew back around.