I'm now 36 and have been drinking daily for nearly 5 years. It started with a few Corona Lights everyday and has evolved into the absolute necessity to pound Ketel One vodka until I get "that feeling" every night. I am definitely functional, doing between 4-10 units US on work nights and up to 30 units US on weekend nights. God I can't wait 'til Friday night every week to start going hard.

I have a 3 year old daughter and a live-in baby mama (girlfriend). I adore them both. I've been able to quit drinking for no more than 5 weeks at a time over the last 5 years and I'm oh so tired of it. I hate being controlled, by people or substances. My girlfriend and I have been fighting a lot, mostly spurred on by me. I've demanded she move out several times and she has finally complied, moving out in 3 days. When I first learned she was actually going to do it I did everything a good alcoholic should do, placed the blame and the shame squarely on her while absolving myself of any wrongdoing.

I picked up "Under the Influence: A Guide to the Myths and Realities of Alcoholism" by Robert Milam. It was life-changing. I learned that it was not just a moral character deficiency, that I was not just weak-willed or spiritually bankrupt. Rather, I learned that it was not psychological at all, merely physiological. I also learned that what i was doing was an attempt isolate myself from the 1 person who would regularly express her concern over my drinking. It was enlightening.

I had attended a single AA meeting about a year ago and had given my # to a guy who wanted to sponsor me. He blew my phone up multiple times a day for days on end immediately and, either my gut or my disease, told me to steer clear of him. After reading "Under the Influence" I had his # pulled up and was about to text him to say I was ready, even though I wasn't. Truth is, I don't want to quit drinking, I don't want to sit in a room 5-7 nights a week and be told I must be stronger. Against alcohol I am one of the weakest. My woman drinks as do all of our friends but does not require it nightly. I envy her and so many other "normies". Very few of our friends take it to the level I have. In the moment i was about to text Mr. AA I remembered seeing a book that was called the cure for alcoholism or something to that nature on Amazon. I found it, put it in my Kindle library and Oh My God...could it be?

I spent $525 on 90 50mg NAL pills. No Rx needed from India. They should be here next week. I haven't been so excited in years. I pray this will work for me and believe it will, even if it takes time I will be committed to the Golden Rule. I doubt I will post again until I start my TSM journey. When I do I believe posting my drinking log on this site will be therapeutic. Barryb, you have inspired me beyond words as have all of you on this site. Thank you all for your time and your effort. You've all given me a great deal of hope.

Hi there and welcome, really hoping this works for you, the price you paid for the Naltrexone seems high but it's a long time since I looked at any online pharmacies and I'm also not up with the £ to $ conversion either. Doesn't really matter so long as it works.

I do actually believe the habit of dependency on drinking alcohol is both physical as well as psychological, TSM allows you to remove the physical connection which then gives you a chance to break the mental reliance on it and begin to live life again.

Welcome to the group SnC,

I almost always agree with UK's and Barryb's words of wisdom. I can't wait unit you get your script and join us.

Chris

That book sounds good. I'll probably get it for my kindle. Best wishes to you. If you live in the U.S., you definitely paid too much -- for future reference, you should be able to get pills for $2 each or so (at least at alldaychemist.com, which is a good company). Hopefully, that $500 invested with save you many thousands of dollars in the future.

If / when your girlfriend moves out, that's going to be very high risk for heavy drinking. Be careful, especially since your pills won't arrive for awhile.

Thanks for all the kind, encouraging words. I know I overpaid for the NAL and I am somewhere in California. I had actually ordered it the day before I found this site. Tried to cancel with vendor and stop-payment on my card but it was too late. I will definitely go to alldaychemist.com for refills but $500 is a drop in the bucket compared to what I spend on Ketel One vodka in 90 days so, if it cuts my drinking even in half by the 3 month mark, it will have been profitable. The book is amazing Barry. An absolute must read, especially for someone as educated as yourself. No fluff, just science. Never would have gotten this far without it. If TSM actually works I plan on opening an alcohol cure home, which I have the means to do. "Under the Influence" would be the first required reading followed by "The Cure". It actually amazes me that there are not more places employing this method but, then again, if there weren't repeat customers, I imagine they would think they would lose profit. I'm already bingeing tonight due to the anticipation of her departure on Saturday. It is not an if, she got the keys today and has signed a 6 month lease. 6.5 units US so far tonight. Will have to shut it down soon so I'm functional tomorrow for work. Again, I pray TSM works but believe 100% also. I don't expect to Barry it up in a couple of weeks. I'm in it for the long haul. Again, thank you all.

I actually think doing TSM on your own so to speak, could be a good thing. I chose not to tell a lot of people nor involve them until I saw improvement because I knew they'd be sceptical, and they were. Even now some people ask me how long it is since my last drink - they think I fixed it via abstenance and that I must abstain, when I've initially explained what I did and do do there were a lot of very suspicious looks but once they see how well I am the penny soon drops!

"I'm already bingeing tonight due to the anticipation of her departure on Saturday."

Don't do anything crazy. Take some of that enthusiasm to stop drinking and channel it into, well, not-drinking. Naltrexone is just a tool to make it much, much easier to quit drinking, but it still takes some effort. And, this might sound old-fashioned, but it's probably better she's moving out since you aren't married yet. Maybe this whole thing will give you some space and you can reconcile while living in different households (like most of our parents and all of our grandparents did before marriage). So, there's surely still hope for the two of you -- I assume you controlling your drinking has something to do with whether or not this hope is fulfilled. I can see why you're anxious about it all! Peace

Nothing crazy has transpired although I did kill 1.75 liters of Ketel One vodka between Friday and Sunday. Not really that uncommon for me on the weekends. Biggest problem is, since she's moved out I've been drinking more at night and actually had 2 shots of some nasty Smirnoff vodka, from a coworker, to settle me down and help with the massive shakes I was having on Monday morning. That was a first for me, have never drank on a work morning before. I'm so tired of this **** I cannot express it to you. My shipment of NAL, according to USPS tracking, is still in India which further depresses me. To be clear, my woman and I are not officially broken up. She knows I need to try this but can't sit around and watch me drink every night and does not want my daughter to be around it. I don't blame her for that. I can barely tolerate watching myself. I just truly love that all of you understand what I'm saying. People who are not alcoholics like us cannot. I check my NAL shipment tracking almost every hour and hope it arrives soon. As my title states, I just pray that it will work. I'll take it every time. Swear to God. I'm just so sick of this drinking. Again, thanks for the support people. It has been very encouraging.

I agree it's a pain to wait for overseas shipments. Be sure to plan ahead next time so you'll never be without. My "year's supply" (50) finally made it after three weeks or so.
I don't agree that Smirnoff is "nasty," though. You must really be a vodka connoisseur!
How expensive is Ketel One compared to Smirnoff?

Ouch. Smirnoff was my GOOD stuff. I would buy Smirnoff when I was with people that knew me. I mostly bought the Popov pints. Now that is nasty. But I guzzled a ton of it. I still have not bought any vodka since Mid-May.

I can't wait for you to get your Nal. Wish we could help you.

If you PM'd me and happened to be near my town in the Midwest, I would share a few with you.

It sounds like you want this to work, so, with your own effort and the help of the Nal, odds are definitely in your favor. Hang in there.

Not to be a bummer, and not sure which pharmacy you used, but my wait for Alldaychemist has been between 2-3 weeks.

My wait after 2 orders. Just made my 3rd.
Day 1 order.
2 days later (3 days) payment clears.
2 days to ship out of India (5 days)
5 days to get to US customs (10 days)
5 days sitting in customs (15 days)
3 days shipping from NY customs to local Midwest post office (about 18 days)