Great work Chris. Good to see you are doing well.

I on the other hand have had my units creep right back up. Admittedly not as much as before and yet to have a blackout since starting (But at the rate I am drinking these days I am not sure that will last for long). Sigh, I am a little uneasy right now I can tell you.

Don't sweat it Dave, keep following the rule.

The old Chris was out in force last night. Between 4-10pm ("Meeting") I opened 17, drank 16 and didn't drink the 17th. I know it is probably pointless to mention not drinking the 17th, however, that is about the only good I can say about that session.

I guess another "GOOD" thing is that I really felt like crap this morning. Much worse than the old Chris would be after 17 plus. Again, 18 min. was the norm most session, most days.

Gonna take one day at a time the rest of this week, but I see nothing obvious to derail me for a possible 4 day AF run. Sat. on the other hand will be an interesting experiment. I will be tending bar at a wedding reception, 300 guests. I belong to a german based athletic organization, that owns a gymnasium attached to a banquet hall and bar. Members volunteer throughout the year tending bar, cleaning, maintenance, or cooking. BARTENDERS DRINK FOR FREE, get a free dinner (fried chicken, mostaccioli, roast beef, mashed potatoes, corn, green beans, and slaw - your typical midwest smorgasbord type feast) and we get to keep our tips.

It isn't as bad as it sounds like actually. Typically, the crew of guys I work with, pace ourselves, unlike the guests. These wedding receptions almost always include unlimited draft beer, and occasionally full open bar. (Always fun staying more sober than the guests, especially if you get lucky to witness a rowdy group of drunken bridesmaids.) The bartending crew will hit it a bit harder after "last call" and most people leave, and the cleanup begins at 11:30-midnight.

Saturday is a long way off. Just gotta get through today AF. The gym should help.

Edit here Week 15 So far. S12, S0, M17, T0 Total=29 so far. AF=2

Edit for Tuesday, AF. Bummer that I farted around at the office too long to get to the gym, but I had two stops on the way home and had to cut the 12" tall grass before dark. (Finished about 30mins after dark.)

That reminds me. Grass cutting. That has been a drinking event also in years past. Last summer and previous summers I would cut until the bagger was full, loop thru the garage, grab a can of beer, head back to my grass dump, (out of site in the woods) and chug that beer in about 60 seconds. Grass cutting was good for 4 trips/beers at the grass dump, and then another beer before using the first weed eater battery, and then 2 more each time I changed batteries, and then of course 1 more before blowing the grass off of the concrete. Yup, anywhere from 6-8 beers cutting the grass.

Three cuts so far this year AF.

Week 15 So far. S12, S0, M17, T0, W3 Total=32 so far. AF=2

Crap. Had 2-3 last night. Not a big deal I guess, but I was thinking I had a shot at a Monday thru Friday AF run.

I was working late, and a drinking buddy, who I enlisted to make a couple of banners for a fundraiser for me texted and said. "Banners are ready. I will take them home with me tonight. Stop by and get them and have a few." This is my buddy who works at a local beer distributor and made my banners for me for free, to post at each end of town to advertise for the upcoming event that has had me meeting every Monday night at a damn tavern.

So, me being GRATEFUL for him making the signs, I grabbed 2-24oz cans of Malt and headed that way. Since I felt GRATEFUL, and APPRECIATIVE, for the free banners, I am OBLIGED, to have some beers with him, right. Well it didn't happen. I kept working later and later, and by the time I left, grabbed my cans of beer, stopped by the grocery store, I texted him I was on the way. I had the nal in me for 1.5 hours and could tell it was working, as I did not feel like guzzling the Malt. So once I get to his place, lights were out. 9pm now, and I figure him and his wife were in bed, as they both start on the beer right after work and can go to bed early because of early starts.

So i quit drinking my stuff. I think I actually only drank 2 of the potential 6 units, so that's good, I simply just blew a shot at an AF day. Missed the gym the last 2 days also, but my fault for not leaving work sooner when I could have. I will NOT miss today, and I WILL have an AF Thursday. 7th grade choir concert tonight, and I will NOT have booze breath.

I have been to lots of choir concerts all-out drunk. You are becoming quite the TSM success story. That experience of Naltrexone squashing your desire to drink happened to me only after awhile. I think the re-conditioned brain that develops through TSM eventually makes the connection that Nal=No Endorphin Rush. So, when you take Naltrexone, your brain/body reacts by telling you, "Don't bother. We'd all be happier if you just don't drink tonight, ok?" That's when it gets harder and harder to drink -- yes, those of you stuck in the throes of addiction, TSM will eventually make you lose your motivation to drink, so it will seem like a CHORE to drink.

Analogy of the day: It will be like having absolutely no sex drive, then having your gross, unattractive, smelly spouse hit on you after they had just acted like a big jerk. (This analogy is more convincing for the ladies, I'm sure!).

Hey Chris, I can COMPLETELY relate to this kinda bizarre feeling... Consider how the old you would feel about having 2-3 drinks in one night. You would probably pat yourself on the back and say "good job old chap! You really CAN control yourself sometimes!"

But when you start making progress with nal, you start getting... for lack of a better term, greedy. When I started nal, I only wanted a pill that would keep me from going completely off the rails. Just keep me from drinking for 3 hours after blacking out. Now, I am disappointed in myself every time I have a hangover at all. I want more for myself. My new goal is to be honestly medically classified as a light to moderate drinker. I never thought I even wanted that before, but I just keep wanting more. It's a great thing to be greedy about I'd say Keep up the good work brother, I'm proud of you.

Thanks. I love this group.

Since screwing myself out of gym time the last 2 days, I forced myself to take an extra long lunch, and just get to the gym earlier, than saving it for after work. The gym has become a nice little added tool to the Nal toolbox. Mostly, since starting to workout again, I just put my beer gut on the elliptical. I have added in some weights for upper body once. Sore SOB next day. Yesterday I went nuts. Lower body weights and upper body weights, then elliptical. I'm really a sore SOB. Hurts but also feels good, right? I'm down from 290 to 275. My ideal is 235-240. I have added a weight tracker tab to my Nal tracking spreadsheet.

Made it home AF. Skittles and gummi bears on the ride home. Dinner, choir concert and Ice Cream afterwards. Slept good. Pretty cool stuff. Good thing I have started going to the gym? Better than beer, right?

No plans other than grocery shopping tonight. Should be AF tonight. Then my Wedding Reception Bartending Experiment Saturday.

Good luck with the weekend friends.

Week 15 So far. S12, S0, M17, T0, W3, T0 Total=32 so far. AF=3

Week 15 results S12, S0, M17, T0, W3, T0, F11 Total=43 so far. AF=3

Friday, Failure. Had 11 Malt Units. Pretty much all by myself. Thought I was going to meet a buddy, after the gym, after grocery shopping for a quick beer and pick up banners he made. So I took nal after gym, bought some malts at store. Started drinking malts on the way home. No buddy meeting. Home at 930pm. Watched a movie and drank malts. Had 11 units between 830-12midnight. This was an accidental unplanned Nal session treatment. Pushed my week up from 32 to 43 on the final hours of day 7.

Saturday, I will say small victory here. This was my experiment tending bar at a 300 person wedding. 11 units, 6 hours, between 715 pm and 115 am.

My drink log I stored in my phone all night basically for this post here on the TSM board.

My text below.

Sat 615 nal
715 1St. Jd
815 2nd
9 3rd
945 4th
1015 5th
1050 6th beer
1112 7th
1133 8th
1147 9th
10th 1245
11th 115 Vka
Blew .07

The details.

I was the first bartender there right at 5pm. The hall manager was talking to a wedding party helper, and gave me orders to make the first round. The wedding party was to arrive around 630 but we needed to have their custom drinks waiting for them on the head table. These drinks were going into mini decorated paint cans. The guys were all to get Jack and Cokes and the bride/bridesmaids various vodka mixers.

Each can was to be filled full of ice, then 5 shots of booze, (vodka or jack), and 12 ounces of coke or tonic or sprite, etc. That pretty much filled up the cans. These were some potent SOBs. I messed up 2 of the gals cans, so I made 2 extra Jack and Cokes. I had to dump these into a pitcher for the bartenders to drink later.

I had to make all of those myself as the other 3 guys were all about 30 minutes late. What a start to the experiment?

After that, the guests proceeded to enjoy complimentary draft beer, wine, and soda for the next 6 hours.

About 615 one of our crew thought it was time we started drinking those Jack and cokes I made a mistake with earlier. I said sure, but only after I take a heartburn pill first and let it work. Then I waited until 715, and joined the crew. I had 5 of them in small 10 ounce beer cup sizes, between 715-1050. After that was gone, they were making there own mixers, and I switched to draft beer. I actually realized by switching to the draft beer that I was drinking faster than with the Jack and Coke. I think this may have been due in part to the Nal being less potent with me after 5-6 ours after taking it. There also was the fried chicken, roast beef, mostaccioli, salad, mashed potatoes and corn at 730 pm that helped slow the drinking for a bit also.

The father of the bride kept buying his brothers and buddies shots of Jack Daniels, doubles, $10 a pop. He gobbled them down like a pro. I know he at close to a fifth himself. His victims were all gasping for air making that, I just ate a bug face, after their shots. He did have a big red face and double chin. It made me think of one of BarryB's alcoholic ER stories. He was pretty much sober looking at 1am, and helping clean off tables. He commented to a couple of us later, "I bet you didn't think I'd be here helping you guys clean of tables. Years of practice to get that tolerance." he said with a big red faced smile.

So, I had 5-10 ounce Jack and Coke units (The head bartender did dilute our pitcher made from my mistake with additional coke.) 5-10 ounce lite beers and 1-10 ounce vodka and squirt the head bartender had waiting for us when the table were all cleared off and the trash in the dumpsters.

I did not have my breathalyzer with me, when it was time to leave, but I felt more sober than I ever had felt before leaving there tending bar at 1 or 2 in the morning. I have 0.5 mile drive home from there, so I wasn't worried. When I did get home, I got my new breathalyzer out of my lunchbox and gave it a test. 0.07. I was legal. Barely, as 0.08 is our legal limit. However, this tells me that typically in the past, I'm sure I was coming home from there with at least double that.

One thing I noticed when cleaning off the tables at the end. Normally, you walk around with a trash can and cart, and slop bucket, dumping out any leftovers, beer cups, beer pitchers, wine glasses, soda cans, mixer cups, etc, etc. I can recall usually thinking, ALCOHOL ABUSE, ALCOHOL ABUSE, when filling up several buckets with leftover booze. This time it I just focused on how nasty that bucket looks with all of that stuff mixed together.

I also thought about one of Generic's posts, about a wedding reception he went to. Being able to remember everything and watching the other drunks be drunk for once. I can recall everything from the evening. That is not normal for Christopher. Like I said above, I'm sure I would have had double when it was all said an done, espeically gulping down several beers or vodka mixers after midnight when the guests were cut off.

Felt pretty good Sunday, and went AF.





Week 16 so far S11, S0, M8, T10, W0 Total=29 AF=2

Edit for Monday night. Had my weekly meeting. Been hitting in the upper teens with these guys. Kept it at 8 last night. 8 over 2 hours. By coincidence only, that has been my guestimate over the years for my weight, in regards to me hitting the legal limit and driving. So I tested my theory with my new breathalyzer. 0.08. Right at the legal limit. I waited about 1 hour after eating dinner at home and it was down to 0.05. Glad I got the breathalyzer now. Just another tool to keep monitoring my situation. Thanks again barryb and generic for the recommendation.

Edit for Tuesday night. We attended a Sports Banquet, at the same Hall I tended bar at Saturday night. Took my Nal and I had 9 more than I hoped to. I had 10 beers. I thought for sure I was calling it quits at 6, but somehow, we ended up staying behind to help clear tables and have 4 more with the volunteers. At least Monday was better than past Mondays.

Edit for Wednesday night. AF. Yippy. I did have some triggers where I drank before.
Trigger 1, cutting grass. Usually had at least 6 beers.
Trigger 2, taking a kid to a sports practice. Usually would have a 4 unit macho mug in tow.
Trigger 3, High School Sporting event. Almost always pregamed.

I did have a "craves", but made it. Gotta go for another one tonight. Friday is a corporate golf outing with free beer, and after that a multi family meeting that evening to plan a float trip over labor day. Of course, a drinking event to plan a drinking event. Either way, I shall be armed with an extra Nal for Friday.

Hey Chris. Your units really have started coming down over the last few weeks. Bummer on the 11 units on the last day, but a least you still only had a 43 unit week.

Week 16 results S11, S0, M8, T10, W0, T0, F23 Total=52 AF=3

Definitely a peak/spike week. Thursday night went AF and worked out.

Friday was the rough day. Corporate Golf Started at Noon. Took first Nal at 11:45am. Had first Beer an hour later. Probably had around 8 beers at golf, then went home, got ready to go to next party. Took a 2nd nal. Stayed at this event for another 6 hours. Then had wife drop me off on the way home to meet with a couple of cronies at a tavern. Closed that down, and 1 of them gave me a ride home, and we sat and drank at my bar in my basement until at least 3am. I can only speculate my units on Friday. 15 hours, 1.5 per hour is 23. Possibly more.

Obviously felt bad Saturday. Went AF. Pre-TSM, I'm sure I would have been having recovery cocktails early in the day.

Went AF Mothers Day also. Sat at in-laws and watched in-laws all drinking. They asked why I was not drinking, and I just stated that I had plenty on Friday.

Went AF Monday also and made it to gym. Planning on gym and AF tonight.

As far as Friday goes, it is a strong reminder, how easy it is for me to be pushed over the edge/out of control in regards to how much I can drink in 1 session.

Overall, still feeling pretty happy with where I am at in my TSM journey.

So Week 17 so far. S0, S0, M0, Total=0, AF=3

Long way from cured, but pretty happy today, even after having 7 units last night. It definitely would have been a 20 unit night for me in the past. Didn't make it to the gym. Gym days tend to go hand in hand with AF days.

I have another wet meeting tonight that will involve nal and units. But Thursday and Friday look to be a dry forecast.

Week 17 so far. S0, S0, M0, T7 Total=7, AF=3

Posted the following elsewhere, but thought I would add it to my weekly progress also.

My wife has been complaining on how early I want to go to bed, since I have been on TSM.

Mostly referring to nights that I drank very little with Nal or AF days/nights.

Her complaint and the problem stems from me being a bit extra sleepy and a bit crabby at bedtime. If I am sleepy and AF, I can fall asleep easily, but also be woken up easily. So when she comes in the bedroom, flips on the TV on a sleepy AF night, I would wake up and then have difficulty going back to sleep, and then I am crabby.

On a Nal day/evening booze treatment/session, I don't get woke up as easily.

Another side effect I personally have is that I am crabbier, like my wife says. She asked the other day If I thought my pills (Nal) were working, because she thought they were. She then commented on that they sure make me crabbier. My comment was "without my pills, I would have wanted to be crabby in the past during events that made me feel crabby, but I would not have said anything and drank instead." She simply said "I know".

So my only side effects are sleepier than normal on AF days, and crabbier and more cynical on AF days. Both are not really big problems for me and my wife. They are actually tiny problems compared to my previous volumes of booze and drunken daily lifestyle.