AF today boys, I am so glad about that. It takes such a long time for my mind to get back to normal after the weekly or much more often biweekly binges from the past few months. Despite the most obvious one, mentioned in dr. e's book too, which gets me more than most, that is depression, and it's cousin, anxiety, I am quite convinced that at least for some of us, due to the insidious effect of alcohol it takes a lot of abstinent time to allow us to get back to some baseline and have our brain functioning more or less normally, whatever that means. It's like generic was saying before in the thread. I am quite happy that it seems I 'm making progress with my compulsion to drink. It's that thing that's unbearable, to keep breaking ones promises to oneself and be drawn to drinking again and again and again.

It's been a lot of help recently that I am managing to allow myself some time to sit down and really eat a big meal, salad, meat, side dish, another side dish, desert etc. And at least a couple of chocolate bars every night. I don't know to what extent nal has worked so far, I am on baclofen too as I 've said before, almost every day but a rather low dosage, and that too has seemed to help. But I guess nal too is working its way into extinction slowly but steadily. Anyway, let me not get ahead of myself, a day at at a time, I am immensely thankful though for these past few days of sobriety. You guys here have been of great help too, so thanks for that. I wish with all my heart all the best to everyone.

Hey guys, not an af day today. But for the first time while out that nal had a noticeable effect on my drinking. I had a pint and a half with a friend, then I was off to see a couple more friends in another bar, I got on the cab with a beer at hand. But I felt close to physically repulsed by it, a couple of sips and it upset my stomach, it almost started a puke reflex. Off to another bar and I had a small liqueur and glass of whisky that I literally forced myself to drink. And then to the last bar where we stayed for more than 4 hours, and I stayed with half a glass of wine, and I didn't enjoy that half at all. That, and about 8 glasses of water, nal thirsty. ( I should say that I was also on 30mg of baclofen, but I don't think it was the bac today that did it, and anyway this is a very small dosage).

Nal on.

af today. all the best to all.

Congrats, Joe. Nal is working for you!

that's a big relief man, about time something started curbing this effing monster. Good luck to you too, and to everyone here. All the best. Af today.

I am really glad you are already feeling some relief Joe. Keep up the good work, and try not to get discouraged if you have setbacks.

Joe,

You are racking up the AF days pretty quick. How many you total since starting TSM?

Good job.

Chris I should have taken your advice and gotten rid of the bottle of vodka as I had the remaining 3/4 last night. What spurred it was trying some wine, just a sip on a friends suggestion (to try it out to see that it wasn't good at all) while out (and enjoying my warm chocolate instead). The proverbial first drink, even if it was just a sip. Took my nal going back home and hit the vodka hard after an hour. It took about half a bottle to get any serious buzz going. Oh and just after my last drink I became sick, which I guess was a good thing, to get some of the alcohol out of my system, and most probably the effect nal had on me, as I 99.9999% of the time I don't get sick otherwise. On the plus side I stuck with vodka and didn't mix it up, I went to bed relatively early, and after a couple of bacs and half a benzo I managed to calm myself for work today and be half functional over there. Plus the AF days have offered some buffer, neurochemical and behavioural, to not plunge into depression and despair after a binge.

I need to start counting my weekly units and AF days like you guys are doing and plot my excel graph too, it should be of help I think, to be more diligent about it.

(goddammit I seem to always hit the new topic button instead of the reply one)....

Oh and a story I was reading the other day, with a very bittersweet ring to it, if not downright sad, you guys from the states can relate more to it I am sure, but every alcy around the world of course can too, it touched me more than your usual drunkalogue, just a year before MM died.

http://cnnsi.printthis.clickability.com ... Findex.htm

Get rid of your vodka Joe. If you can muster all the AF days like you have, you can pitch that SOB.

My stash has been gone for over a month. I do know the wife has a bottle above the fridge, but that is hers and I'm not touching it. (I used to drink hers in a pinch, refill with water temporarily, and then refill later typically with cheaper vodka that I would keep in my stash.)

Joe,

Where have you been?