Actually, it's not Kool-Aid, but "Hawaiian Punch: Singles to Go." And I'm a "short timer" for full-time nursing now (after 8 years); finishing up my MHA degree and going into health administration (which will be my 4th career so far). I'm going to have to be on call a lot of nights; you have to either make decisions or drive up to the hospital and solve problems, so being drunk is highly frowned upon, which was part of my motivation for not drinking every night.

I consider my writing pretty mediocre, but I try. I love,love,love public speaking, though. It gets me higher than anything.

I ended up having two drinks last night as part of a romantic night in front of the fire. It felt fantastic but I was able to stop at two with no problem (and no ED!; that problem is gone).

Keep it up Barry. Someday bro, I'm gonna be there. I am very jealous right now, and feeling really guilty about my weekend bender. AF night tonight I hope.

Question for you Barry and the others.

You seem to be up to speed in the medical side of this.

I have purchased Milk Thistle for years as a concern regarding my liver damage, that must be coming some day if I don't stop the boozing.

I wonder how much I should take (assuming it even helps). I currently take 3 capsules from the health food store and try and spread them out throughout the day.

My daily regime of meds mostly from years of boozing, IMO.

Morning

Crestor Cholesterol (which i just ordered the generic from all day with my 2nd Naltrexone purchase. plus 3 zpacks if anyone gets sick)
Edarbi HBP
Naproxen Knee Arthritis

Throughout the day,

3 Milk Thistles (Liver Health)
5 fiber pills (Helps get the fat thru)
Garlic pill (Sounds healthy)
1 multivitamin
Apple Cider Vinegar Pill (No gout when taking pill, occasional big toe pain)
Naltrexone if boozing (Most days)
Melatonin if not boozing (Few days)

Not to sound like a prick, but taking Milk Thistle while overwhelming your liver as much as you do is about as useful as...

...smoking three packs a day but being sure to take three puffs of 100% oxygen twice a day
...consuming ten Big Macs for dinner but being sure to walk your dog around the block to keep your heart healthy
...banging your head against a wall 10 times a day but being sure to do some sudoko throughout the day to keep your brain sharp

In other words, there's nothing you can take that will even approach 1% the usefulness of not drinking for your liver. I hate to harp on liver problems, but they're so real. It's almost like you're playing chicken with physics. I've seen multiple 30 year olds that drink less than you and develop cirrhosis, chronic GI bleeding, or even kidney failure (the hypertension will do that, too) and end up on dialysis. Your liver surely, by now, is "fatty," which is the stage before it starts to scar over producing cirrhosis. The liver is the most resilient of organs (fatty livers can often be 100% reversed), but once the scarring starts, healing is impossible for your body. (On the other hand, some people drink more than you for longer than you and don't suffer consequences until their 50s or so -- but high cholesterol and hypertension are both big risk factors for a lot of alcohol-related ailments to come more speedily).

A word of encouragement...keep working towards extinction. I know it seems impossible right now that you could ever have the "will power" to reduce your drinking by 90+%, but if you get to the point of a "cure," you don't actually need will power. It's a very real but strange sensation. You will be able to get stuck in the snow, hurt by your spouse, angry with your boss, etc..., without going, "You know what would help right now? Alcohol!" just like you don't currently consider smoking heroin or injecting meth to deal with your problems.

Once again, thank you and well put my friend. I shall once again attempt another AF evening.

Barry, that was a great post, thanks from me too. Btw I am getting my medical exams in a few days, scared shitless, and I also have this pain on the right side of the belly, about 10 cm left of the belly button that won't go away.

I assume you mean "right of the belly button." Yes, that's very possibly your liver. It shouldn't be that scary, though, because that damage is resversible in most people as long as you stop drinking. But, it could easily be your pancreas, too, which would probably be just as likely (if not more) than liver problems in someone your age. Pancreas problems tend not to permanently reverse, but do provide an incentive to stop drinking that is very strong (because your pancreas will get very "angry" when you drink); the problem with that is that patients end up getting hooked on pain medicines to deal with the pancreatitis. Simple labs should show if there's a problem with either or neither.

Hey Barry, thanks for the reply man. I should have the lab tests in a few days. Yeah it's probably one of the two, although I am hoping (or pipe dreaming) it's neither. Back when I abstained for four years, within the first year or so my liver went back to normal. Doppler hadn't shown any major damage, thank god, I 'll have one of these too after I get the first batch of tests.

I get that pain Joe. Most of the right side running from my lower abdomen up to my rib cage. The last blood test came back good last month. Its good to keep on top of it though. It all but disappeared when my units were down but the last couple of weeks its returned.

Before I started TSM it was getting bad and I could have sworn there was something wrong. I almost thought maybe the test results were wrong. The bodies pretty sturdy if you give it a chance to recover.

Yea, posted my first "Zero!" I was trying to remember the last time I went 7 days without a drink. As I recall, it was 1998 when I brought a group to a church camp and was stuck with no booze (the next year, I snuck away from the camp and went to a bar -- ). Last night was kinda sorta hard (probably a "3" on the 0-10 cravings scale), mainly because I knew it was Saturday night, plus I worked really hard all day and had a couple stressors. I told myself I wasn't going to try to relieve the stress by drinking and stuck to that. I did watch the entire SNL and Justin Timberlake was a really, really good host -- plus it had Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, Martin Short, and Dan Akroyd on the show.

Anyway, will wait until at least next Saturday to consider another drink.