I used to work with a man, a Vietnam vet with a hundred horror stories, who seemed obsessed with alcohol -- he was always "not drinking," trying non-alcoholic beer, and the like. When I asked, "When is the last time you drank?," he said, "Twenty years!" I thought, "Oh my God, how horrible to think about something you DON'T do for twenty years!" Alcoholism creates its own form of PTSD -- the stupid things we've done, the near misses, the crimes, the self-loathing, all add up over the years to where our mind is changed.

"Repentance," which appears 24 times in the New Testament, is from the Greek metanoia, which roughly translates as "a change of mind." This, ultimately, is what we're all seeking through TSM and Naltrexone. Perhaps we've tried surrendering to a "higher power (however we imagine him/her)" but never had the slightest change in mind, despite the best intentions. Giving up the dysfunctional drinking of alcohol is one thing, and it's a good thing (it spares your organs, increases your quality of life, etc...), but all these physical gains ultimately are of less importance than the change in mind that truly liberates us from the desire to numb our brains through alcohol and the constant reminiscing about the good and bad times we've had with alcohol.

Naltrexone, at least for some of us, is a very helpful aid in our journey of repentance / mind-changing, as it can actually "rewire" our brain / mind to where it doesn't obsess about alcohol. When our mind is free, we are free. As Buddha said, "The mind is everything. What we think, we become." Besides taking the pill, what other ways can we free our minds from the desire for alcohol and the "PTSD" that has developed over a thousand poor choices and the stress of being out of control (or controlled by something as silly as a shot of vodka or a glass of wine)?

Personally, I'm going to "go for it" and try to abstain during Lent. I'm an agnostic Catholic, but Lent still has a heavy pull on me -- it's sort of the Catholic New Year's! But besides "not drinking" (which, in itself, can become an activity if our mind isn't freed), I'm going to try to put the thought of alcohol on the shelf for awhile. No more reading about people's drinking problems, no more posting about my drinking problems, no more studying treatment methods, no more watching videos about recovery, and no more listening to recovery songs over and over. To help me do this, I'm going to take the advice I saw on another user's excellent "cured" post and watch as many documentaries as I can in an effort to expand my mind beyond my little world and alcohol; I'll also read about things I know little about and maybe even try some new activities.

If I make it to the other side of Lent even better off than I am today, I'll write up a nice testimony and gladly post it on the "cured" section of this website, as I've had more metanoia in six weeks of TSM than at any point in the last twenty years. I'm very grateful for that, believe me.

Good luck to you all!

Hi Barry

Always very interesting to hear your thoughts ... and good luck with your Lenten journey

If I understand right .. does that mean we wont be hearing from you for a while? If so .. that's a shame - will miss reading your posts

The Jason Vale book "Kick the Drink Easily" (ha!) although somewhat simplistic ... agrees with the not cutting down notion .. that we're only truly free when we stop thinking about when we can actually have our next drink ... ie have totally given it up and renounced the evil forever. I'm not sure I totally agree but I did quite like the idea that we've all been duped and fooled into thinking alcohol is good, fun, positive etc and when you can change that belief - you see through the myth.

I had a (rare) alcohol free evening on Tuesday .. but probably only cos of the stinking hangover from the weekend - and I'd taken a co-codamol for bit of headache. Interesting how the codeine (which I hardly ever take) seemed to help with the craving.

Anyhow .. hope my Nal arrives soon and looking forward to enjoying your Easter post (along with my chocolate egg!) Lorraine

Hi Barry and good luck with your lenten abstinence.

I personally believe that we are our own higher power. We each have it in us to do what is necessary. We don't need a god or a group or a tree or whatever HP, we just need ourselves and the belief that we can do it, the belief is of course, the hard part, as most alcohol related dogma and literature teaches powerlessness...

I have just one word of advice for you during lent: Food.

Never allow yourself to get hungry, hunger is a huge trigger. Eat unprocessed wholesome food like meat, fish, eggs, veg and fruit and as much as you like. Avoid processed carbs and anything that comes in a box. This really helps.

If you're looking for interesting docs to watch, try Ted Talks: http://www.ted.com/talks. Hours and hours of fascinating speakers on a huge variety of engaging topics.

Good luck!

Curi

Thanks for the Ted talk tip. And, yes, I suppose I will keep posting here sometimes (I'm at work right now with not much to do). I always liked reading others' comments about my situation because it was very encouraging when I was first starting out and, since I love to comment, I suppose any word of encouragement is helpful to people.

I don't think I ever made it through Lent in the 20ish years I've been drinking and I tried nearly every year. That said, I don't think I ever even made it through when I went off sweets as a kid.

Total lack of willpower. That's why I love TSM... Just let it play out.